


Damning my Demons

by Anal_Bead_Lamp



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, But what do I know??, Cannibalism, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Christmas Fluff, Cutting, Dead Marco Bott, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eren was a cannibal, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Grisha's grade A parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Levi cries a lot, Levi isn't a stoic asshole, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Minor Character Death, Multi, Multiple Personalities, Oops, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, SO MUCH FLUFF, Schizophrenia, Some angst, Suicide Attempt, Thanksgiving fluff, anger issues, halloween fluff, i think, motherly Hanji, not too much for tears, one-sided Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, this started out to be hella angsty but now there's more fluff than angst, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:25:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 49,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4739540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anal_Bead_Lamp/pseuds/Anal_Bead_Lamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Welcome to Sina Mental Hospital. Where we take the most deranged patients and keep them out of the way for the public. If you look to your right you'll see our most recent patient, Levi Ackerman. </p><p>After being brutally beaten and verbally abused most of his life, his uncle put the icing on the cake with a vicious rape. Levi, being mentally unstable, resorted to suicide. Of course as he is sitting here today, it was unsuccessful.</p><p> But that's not all you'll find. Come along as we dive deeper into the sick minds of our patients!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: this fic includes a graphic scene of rape, abuse, murder, depression, eating disorders, mental illness, and sexual content. 
> 
> If you are uncomfortable with any of these: please do not continue.

A young, only sixteen, teen walked down the cracked sidewalk with his thin jacket pulled tightly around his body. The sharp cold winds easily found their ways through the material and on Levi's skin. Chilling him to the bone. He was hoping that Kenny had paid the heating bill for once in his drunkard life. The raven looked at what he had called home for the past ten years. It was in piss-poor conditions. Siding faded, some of it broken from bottles and bullets alike hitting it. The shingles were missing in a few spots, the ply wood below was visible for each one. Windows were broken and only repaired with a sheet of tarp and tape. The lawn was over grown by more than a few years. Of course there were complaints. But Kenny always ignored them in favor of a drink.

Levi entered the home with his head held low, not wanting to aggravate Kenny into anymore beatings. Walking hurt, not to mention having to walk to and from school, three miles each way. But the aftermath of his punishment wasn't the worst part. It was watching his little sister being beaten. Levi held a great amount of hatred for his uncle. The way that he disregarded the safety and comfort of others for the sake of entertainment. It made Levi sick. 

"Where have you been?" A deep voice roared. Kenny stood in the living room, only right of the front door. The loud voice made Levi flinch, instinctively covering his face for any oncoming blows. "Get in here, now!" Kenny ordered. Once Levi had shakily entered his arms reach Kenny shot out. His right fist hitting Levi's guts in a mater of seconds. Levi coughed up saliva. Wheezing to get air back in his lungs. The punch had knocked him to the ground and the air out of him. The hard wooden floor collided with his bruised shoulder from last night's punishment. Sending another wave of pain through Levi's body. 

"You. Worthless. Faggot!" Kenny screamed, his steel toed boot hitting Levi in the side repeatedly. The crunch of his bones, the gasps for air, the yelps of pain, and the sobs for mercy were music to Kenny's ears. "Kenny, GAH, please. That isn't me!" Levi cried out. Salty tears ran down his pale cheeks. Kenny grabbed Levi by his collar, lifting him to his face. "The school called me. Saying that they caught you making out with another faggot." Kenny sneered, spitting in his face before dropping his limp body to the ground. Levi took it all. It's true, that's what he is. He's a faggot, to his uncle's words. "And you're going to be punished like one too." Kenny growled in Levi's ear. His whiskey drenched breath sending a frightful jolt down Levi's spine.

Kenny flipped him onto his back. Grabbing his wrists with too much force, enjoying the way Levi whimpered in pain, and tied them to the guard bars around the fireplace. Kenny placed his knees on Levi's calves, keeping him from moving. Levi only managed a few weak attempts of throwing the much stronger, heavier and dominate male off of him. Kenny grabbed the belt line of Levi's pants, pulling them down with no regard for how Levi's skin felt as the jean material scraped some of the layers of skin off. Once the pant material was out of the way, Kenny grabbed Levi's limp member, squeezing with intense strength. Levi cried out, yanking on his binds. Kenny grinned and used this pain to distract Levi from his real goal. While his right hand continued to punish Levi's member, his left undid his belt, pants and took out his fully erect cock. 

The thought of raping his family had never came to him before, but now it was exciting. Knowing that the child before him was pure to an extent was exhilarating. Seeing the tears run down Levi's young cheeks sent jolts of pleasure through him and down his cock. Kenny lined himself up, dying to be inside his nephew. With one swift movement, he was in. Levi let out a screech of absolute terror, pain and shock. His throat would be raw in a few minutes with the volume of shouts. Kenny didn't wait for Levi to be prepared for him, he slid back out, relishing in the rough friction against his cock, then slammed back in. Levi let loose an ear piercing scream of pain, his insides were being torn apart. The blood showing, but there wasn't enough to act as lubricant. So Levi was left with the impossible pain of a large thick cock pounding into him. 

His small hands clawed at the cloth holding them, his blunt nails doing nothing against the high quality tie. His cries had gotten no quieter, only gaining a more pleasured sound to them. Kenny smirked at this. Now aiming in random directions till- "GAH~" he found it. Kenny wasted no time assaulting the bundle of nerves. Levi was now screaming out of pleasure and pure disgust. He had no control over his body. The moans left him with no permission. The gasps of pleasure left as quickly as the moans. Levi didn't want to enjoy this. But Kenny had a different idea. Holding the smaller male down until he came. His thick white seed filled Levi's red and throbbing hole. The white mixed with the red, making a swirly design as he pulled out. 

As Kenny stood, he looked down at the wrecked boy. His own filth covered his chest. Soft noises of whatever, Kenny sure didn't care, leaving opened lips. Kenny was sure he would use Levi again. The tightness of his behind was better than that of a well seasoned whore. And the price of free was perfect. Kenny stepped out for a cigarette. Leaving Levi behind. The small raven continued to lay on his back, his head tossed to the side. The energy spent trying to get away from Kenny and then having been raped, left Levi empty. Not only psychically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Levi felt the disgust growing inside him, his thoughts were all of how meaningless life is. How disgusting and down right revolting he is now because he had to be gay, that his own family had taken his virginity.

Levi used his legs to grab his bag, easily moving it to a position that he could get into it from. His slim fingers slipped inside the front pocket, taking out a bottle of pills. Levi opened the bottle with his hands, avoiding the bars as he poured a handful or so into his mouth. He swallowed them all with much difficulty. His dry raw throat protesting as the large amount of pills entered. He hid the bottle in his bag before throwing it away before Kenny entered once more. Levi let sleep take him as he laid tied up to the bars and cum on and inside him. Like the piece of garbage he is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin tells a long story about Levi's mother and they arrive at Sina Mental Institution.

A tall blonde man stood outside of a hospital room. This man is Erwin Smith. His tall, perfect, expensive form just shouted money, intelligence, and power. His deep charismatic voice could easily manipulate anyone, including the police officers posted outside the room. "So having said all of that, may I please enter. I wish to speak with him." Erwin gave a smile. The officers hesitated but stepped aside and let the man in. The stark hospital white made his dark suit stick out like a sore thumb. 

"Who the hell are you and why am I not dead." An angry voice growled from the bed. "Hello Mr. Ackerman, I'm Erwin Smith. The head doctor at Sina Mental Institution. I'm looking for consenting patients to join a new program I have developed." Erwin stated, keeping eye contact and his voice steady. Even under the glare of the raven. "Fuck off." Levi answered, turning over to lay on his side. Of course Erwin didn't miss the wince when he moved. The bruises he could see on his wrists, arms and neck, all in the shape of hands, were most likely not even the worst he had gone through. "It's free for you. All you'll have to do is show up and within the next our months you'll start responding with to the treatment-" "And what if I don't? What if the way he held me down for hours, beat me, let his sweat drip on me, and the way he destroyed me haunts me for the rest of my worthless life. What if the way he praised me whenever I responded the way he liked makes me vomit whenever I hear the words, the words.....the w-words." Levi trailed off, dropping his head. His words loosing their power, but gaining emotion.

Erwin watched with a stoic expression. Levi looked completely broken. Sobs broken the angst filled silence. Levi had started to wipe away the tears, turning to face away from the taller man. "Look Levi-" "Don't you 'Levi' me." The raven growled, scooting away. The tears running down his sunken cheeks made Erwin halt. "Just listen. I won't force you. But from what we've seen, even life long abuse victims recovered. Just think about." Erwin said not looking at Levi as he sobbed. The blonde turned to leave, hi hand barely gracing the handle before Levi croaked out a question. "Why do you want me?" Erwin turned to look at Levi with a sad remembering smile. "Your mother and I were good friends." Erwin stated, his voice not holding the confidence he had before. It was empty. Levi stared at Erwin's face, looking for any sign of deception. "I'll join your shit. Don't think that I'm a walk in the park though." Levi said wiping his nose of the dripping snot. "Of course. Thank you Levi." Erwin smiled kindly at the teen before leaving.

Erwin walked calmly down the hall. His posture was tall, asking for respect- no demanding it. His face was stoic. He was holding up a mask. That mask of confidence hid the crumbling emotions that he held for the raven's mother. He never had romantic feelings for her. Only sisterly. She was his little sister, his princess that he saved from bullies during school, he was the one she complained about her friends and boyfriends to, he was the one that she leaned on when the father of her baby went missing, he was the one that tried to keep her out of drugs, he was the one that sadly failed, and he was the one that watched her stick the final needle in her arm. He had tried to find her son. He really did. But the boy had dropped off the face of the Earth. He was enrolled in school with a different last name. And sixteen years later, Erwin had finally given up. But he did it. He found the last of his her. He found the last of Kuchel. The last of his little sister. 'I'll save him, don't worry Kuchel.' 

~

The next day Erwin return but with another doctor. "Hey pumpkin! I'm Hanji Zoe. Call me aunt Hanji. I'll be like your new mom! Oh look at him Erwin! He's just precious!" She rambled on and on as the nurses helped Levi out of the bed and into a wheelchair. Erwin, being the only one relatively close to family was now acting as his guardian, signed him out. The doctor had advised against it but Erwin had convinced them that Levi would be fine. 

"Erwin, what was my mom like?" Levi asked quietly. He was sitting in the back of a Mercedes, a blanket wrapped around him as he leaned against the chilled window. Erwin sighed as he glanced back at Levi through the rear view mirror. Hanji had ran off to buy them all drinks at the nearest vending machine, but the machine turned out to be farther than she thought. "To me she was the most precious person in the world. She was like a sister to me. Kuchel-" "Hey name was Kuchel?" Levi seemed surprised. "Yeah, Kuchel Ackerman. Did your adoptive family not tell you this?" Erwin asked, using the term 'adoptive family' instead of 'Kenny' for obvious reasons. "No, he said she was Jane, and my father John." Levi whispered, his hands had began to shake. He tightened the blanket around him as he focused on his breathing. Hanji had suggested it after watching Levi nearly have a mental breakdown seeing his own body.

Erwin waited for Levi to calm down slightly before continuing. "Your mother was smart. Always ranting on about a new thing with very logical views and beliefs. She passed her classes with ease. Only sitting down to study ever other weekend with me. But near the end of her junior year she found herself a boyfriend. He knew how to smooth talk a girl real nice. I had warned her about his twenty-something ex's. Kuchel began to slowly lose grip on her grades. Finally dropping off the honor roll. Her parents got mad and began fighting with her everyday, night and second in between. To take the stress off of her grades and parents, she and her boyfriend had been having a larger amount of sex. Forgetting the condom most of them. One night they forgot it and you were conceived." Erwin took in a breath of air, checking on Levi again. He was listening intently.

"The second he found out he began avoiding her. Not returning her calls and text. Not even talking to her in the halls. Kuchel gave up on fixing their relationship. When she told her parents they flat out kicked her out. During this whole time I wasn't there. I had began my special classes for the college I wanted. I guess she didn't want to be a bother and left me. Once I had passed my exams I ran straight to her house. Or rather, what I thought was her house. Her parents gave me the news. Of course I took it heavily. I had wanted to scream in their faces. I had called her of twenty times. When she finally answered that's when I gave her my plan. Since my family had always been on the rather wealthy side, they had given me a rather wealthy allowance. I bought her an apartment. It was small, but it was clean and it gave her a roof over her head. This worked till she began using drugs." Erwin felt his throat begin to throb as the memories surfaced in great detail. 

"At first it was just marijuana. Then it was LSD. Then she took it a step forward and began coke. I had known about the first two. But when I figured out the third, I forced her into rehab. She couldn't go in for the whole three months because of school, but she did sessions, urine tests, and therapy. She had gotten better for bit. But then her ex came back in the picture. She wasn't even seven months pregnant with you when he had thrown her down the stairs." Erwin said, his voice chillingly calm. Levi felt the pure rage Erwin was with holding. Levi had gotten accustomed to judging emotions, he had to know when Kenny was angry or just sober.

"She lived and of course you did. But she had relapsed. Now doing all three along with heroin. She shot it up her toe nails. Careful to hide it this time. But as the drugs took their course, she gave birth premature. Two whole months premature you were. It was a miracle that you weren't a still born." Erwin chuckled dryly. He spotted Hanji standing against a pole. She knew what they were talking about, not wanting to interrupt, she merely stood back and watched.

"She had her baby for two days before she shot up one last time. I had just arrived at the apartment to tell her that I had gotten that months rent. Instead of finding her taking care of you, she was laying on the kitchen floor with a needle in her arm and a missing child. I had asked her where you were and she merely replied a weak 'gone' before she passed. I called the police. They spoke with everyone in the complex. Most of them said that they saw a man leave with a baby and Kuchel holding a package. The man was never seen and neither were you. Till yesterday, when I heard that a Levi Ackerman was admitted into the hospital I had driven here as fast as I could. When I heard what had happened I felt the same anger I felt towards Kuchel's ex. I'm glad that you're accepting the treatment Levi. I don't want you to end up like Kuchel." Erwin had to physically try to hold back the tears that had formed in his blue eyes. 

When receiving no reply, Erwin glanced back at Levi. The raven was shaking, tears streaming down his pale face. Levi didn't say anything, only trying to hold back his sobs. Erwin motioned Hanji to come back. She arrived silently, handing them each their drink. Levi didn't even hold it. Hanji had placed it near his hand, leaning against the blanket, but he couldn't eat or drink now. He knew he would surely throw it all up. Erwin sipped on the bottle of water Hanji had gotten him as he took off.

The car ride was three hours. Erwin took them out of town and to a smaller one. One where everyone knew everyone. Levi had always hated places like this. Not that he had been to one. No, he had never left Trost before. But the thought of everyone knowing everything about you sicked him. Even more now. He didn't want everyone knowing him, he didn't want every secret he has to be shown to the others, he didn't want anyone knowing what had happened to him. He simply wanted one person that he could share himself with, with no fear of judgement or blame. He wanted someone who could silence his demons with a single glance.

"Welcome home Levi." Hanji's voice knocked him out of his thoughts. "This is where you'll be spending the next few years of your life." Erwin added. 

 

"We're happy you have you at Sina Mental Hospital."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Papaya_Complex, W84U and Emerald_dreams702 for the comments. As a writer, if I would call myself that, feed-back is the best thing since spell check. It lets me know as the author what I should and or shouldn't adjust. It's a fan-fiction, it's for the fans of course. ❤


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Hanji bond and we introduce three new characters, then throw one of them out.

"We're happy you have you at Sina Mental Hospital."

~

"Ah Sir, it's nice to see you're back!" A man with short blonde hair greeted. "Could you open the gate? We have a patient." Erwin said a silent thank you at the start. The man nodded, turning to face a panel of controls. A few moments later the large gate opened surprisingly quiet. Levi watched as the dark gates opened, revealing a simple white building. The single story building was topped off with a flat roof. The sides adorning double pane windows with reinforced glass, along with some simple yet elegant shrubbery. The yard was a dark green and neat as a lawn could get. Every few yards a small tree was planted, giving the space an open yet not empty feel. Levi had a feeling that this was not all to the building.

Erwin pulled in, his black Mercedes stood out like him at the hospital. Stark black against clean white. "Here we are," Erwin said as three nurses approached the vehicle. Each one in white scrubs. Their hair was pulled up into tight buns and minimal make-up was applied to their faces. "Hello, we're the head nurses on staff. We're here to help you get situated at the Institution, do you require assistance?" A tall woman with an aged face, dark brown hair and brown eyes asked kindly. The manor of her kindness almost made Levi want to gag. "No, I'm fine-" "Help him." Hanji ordered getting out herself. Levi sent a not so well hidden glare at the woman. Levi wanted to keep some of his dignity. But of course Hanji was having different thoughts. The three nurses helped him out and into another wheelchair. The tallest brunette walked ahead of him, next to Erwin and Hanji. The shortest, a woman with strawberry blonde hair, light brown eyes and a kind smile walked next to him holding a clip board. Last but not least, the one with raven hair. She had dark brown eyes and a stoic expression, almost nearing disgust. Levi curled in on himself, feeling her disgust at him as she pushed the chair. He mumbled a weak 'sorry' before the brunette turned to face him.

"Mr. Ackerman from today and on you will be living in this facility with the others. You of course will have a single bed room, no roommates unless you ask for one. Your breakfast times are seven a.m and seven thirty. Lunch will be served at one and dinner will be at six. The lights out requirement is at nine. You'll have one-on-one therapy sessions with one of our highly trained therapists and group with the others. During the day you will be expected to spend at least five hours in the main room with the others. All other hours will either be free time for you to complete session tasks, or whatever you wish. I must warn you about the others. Some have more problems than meets the eye. Don't think that any of them are okay. They are all as damaged as you, some even worse." The woman let out a remorseful sigh as she finished. Levi soaked in the information. None of it was too out of the ordinary. The only part that worried him with the group and main room. Would he be able to be around others? Would they accept him? Or would they throw him away like his mother did.

"Don't you worry Levi. The others are welcoming to some extent. But I'm sure you'll find a friend!" Hanji said adding a bounce into her step. Levi brought the blanket closer to himself, a settling feeling of anxiety formed in his stomach. The brunette looked at her watch, a surprised look on her as she mumbled something. "I have a group session to attend to. Girls, get Mr. Ackerman situated then come to my office." She ordered the girls, they did some weird salute with their fists against their chests. The strawberry blonde began to push him towards the end of the hall. "The sleeping quarters are in the underground, along with most of the areas for you guys. It keeps the temperature down and-" "It keeps you fuck ups from escaping." The raven girl piped in, messing with her nails. 

"Kim! Don't say that. She's Mrs. Aberline's daughter. She doesn't really like the job." The strawberry blonde said sweetly. A smile gracing her lips. "Whatever Petra, not all of us care unconditionally" Kim mumbled. Kim reminded Levi of Kenny. She had the relatively same height, both tall, the build was close, thin and lean, and they had the same disgust towards him. His breathing picked up, his vision became blurry, almost nothing was in focus besides the image of Kenny. Levi fell out of the chair and onto the floor. Tears pricked at his eyes, begging to be released. He had no control over his body as his pushed Petra away, as he scooted back against the wall, as he gripped his head, pulling out hair, and as he sobbed. Through the sobs he whimpered weak 'please','stop','I'm sorry','I don't want this'. Petra tried to approach Levi, she hunched over, making herself small, not a threat. Kim stood behind the chair, there was a glint in her eyes before she sprinted away. Leaving Petra with the raven.

"Mr. Ackerman, are you okay? D-Do you want anything? What's wrong?" She fired off questions like bullets into a mob. Levi only folded even more into himself. The sobs turned violent. His eyes painfully wide as his mind replayed the acts against him over and over. The binding of his wrists, the cold wooden floor, the throbbing pain in his already bruised body as Kenny played with him, the praises he got when he moaned, the feeling of Kenny acknowledging his presence with more than just a punishment. It all replayed like a film, from the beginning when he entered the house, to the end when the cops finally arrived after Kenny was long gone, to the bits in between where Levi woke up from his drug induced state to Kenny pounding into him. 

Hanji, Erwin and Mrs. Aberline raced down the hall. Kim had ran to get them. Erwin, having longer legs arrived first, then Mrs. Aberline then finally Hanji. Hanji lept towards the teen. Wrapping him in her arms, cooing soft words to him as she rocked slowly. She had seen this kind of attack before. It was best to treat them like a child that was having a nightmare, that's almost what Levi was having. The images flashing through his mind was like a dream. A horrible, awful nightmare. The raven felt Kenny stripping him of his worth once more. In that hall. In this place that's supposed to help him. In the arms of this woman, the first to make physical contact and not be sticking something inside him. His arms wrapped around her. His head pushed against her chest as the sobs raked through him. Hanji gave him words of kindness. Ones that calmed him down, instead of making him relive the past event. 

"There, there. Yes there you go." Hanji whispered to a little tune. Levi calmed down but kept his grip on Hanji. "I don't want to leave you." levi whimpered tightening his grip. Hanji smiled sadly at the boy. "Don't worry Levi, you don't have to." She said in a caring voice. She easily picked up the small teen, him being only five foot one. She held him close, her heart beat lulled him to sleep as they all walked to his sleeping quarters. Kim felt the heated glare of Petra on her the entire time.

Hanji laid the raven on his bed after carefully detaching from his vice grip. The group began to walk towards the door t speak without waking the boy, but when Levi began tossing and turning Hanji was back at his side in no time. She sat on the bed, laying the raven's head on her lap as she ran her fingers through his soft hair. He rested once more and was brought into a deeper sleep. "Kim you better have a real fucking good reason why my baby went through that. If you don't you'll find out what the inside of your own lungs looks like, cause I'm damn well curious." Hanji spoke with a low voice. But the threat was real. The furious glare in her eyes made sure that the twenty-three year old knew that. 

"Petra was talking about how the sleeping quarters were u-underground, a-and I said 'so that fuck ups like you don't run away' a, a-and I guess he freaked out about it?" Kim stuttered but explained. Hanji tightened her left fist, keeping her right one gentle as it lightly raked through Levi's hair. "Erwin." Hanji growled. Trying to keep her anger in check. Even if she hadn't known the boy for very long, she had grown attached. He reminded her of someone. Someone long gone. And she didn't want to lose them again.

"Kim, pack your bags. Leave this facility within the hour or I'm not responsible for Hanji's actions." Erwin ordered. Kim was taken back by the order. She had made little comments before, sure none of them caused panic attacks, but this one was taken way too far. "What the hell are you talking about? Just because some freak doesn't like the way the world works means I get fired?!" Kim raged. "Mom, come on. You won't let this happen?" Kim fussed. Annoyed, "Kim, leave this facility now." Mrs. Aberline said in a calm voice. Kim stomped away, growling curses and general bad things at Levi. She left the room, leaving the door open. 

"Well Ms. Hanji, I believe you're going to be his one-on-one therapist?" Mrs. Aberline said straightening her posture. "Yeah." Hanji mumbled. Mrs. Aberline nodded and walked out, Petra following, she had the other patients to tend to. "Hey Erwin, why d bad things happen to good people?" Hanji whispered, holding Levi closer. Tears had began to form in her eyes as she gazed at the boy. He finally looked peaceful. Not the depressed, traumatized and angry boy she met only a few hours prior. "....I don't know Hanji." Erwin mumbled looking at the scene.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally introduce Eren

Levi awoke to a warm embrace. His instincts flared up and quickly pushed the person away. Fear grew in his gut as the thoughts of it being Kenny arose. Levi began to curl in on himself as he shuffled back. When his hand reached the end of the mattress Levi went over the edge. His back hitting the white carpet with a thud. The figure sprung up to see Levi huddling against the wall with tears and snot running down his face, a look of terror joining them as he pleaded. "Levi!" It was Hanji. How could he forget. The only person who gives him comfort. Levi looked up at the messy doctor. The lamp she turned on illuminated her face, she wore an expression of worry. "Levi, are you okay?" She asked softly kneeling next to him. The raven's throat was burning and tight. He wouldn't be able to speak even if he wanted. Instead he nodded his head. Hanji sighed and pulled him into a hug. "You poor baby." She whispered rocking him back and forth once more.

A few minutes later Hanji began to help Levi to start the day. Levi had woken up a whole two hours before breakfast was to be served. Hanji planned to use the time to bathe, dress and show him around before he would meet the others in the main room. "Come on baby, we need to get you ready for the day. How does a hot bath sound?" Hanji said with a smile. Levi simply nodded and left Hanji drag him to the bath. Levi sat against the wall messing with Hanji's phone. He had never had one, right now he was playing flappy bird. He hadn't voiced his frustrations but Hanji smirked, knowing it was only a mater of time before he would give up. In the mean time she filled the tub with warm, almost hot water and bubble bath soap. Levi had shown a faint smile when Hanji had offered. 

"Come on shorty. Get in." She said looking at the raven. "Okay." He managed to say. The teen stood up and began stripping. Hanji turned around to give Levi some privacy. Once she heard Levi mumbled something, she turned back. Levi looked like baby in the large tub. His small form was already smaller than others, the large size of the tub did not help. Hanji held back a giggle as she grabbed a white cup. "Lean your head back, dear?" She said, filling the cup with water. Levi followed her order, leaning back slightly. He sat with his legs pulled to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Hanji washed his hair with gentle repeating circles. Levi enjoyed the feeling and the silence. But Hanji being Hanji, broke it. "I'm sure you'll be best friends with one of the patients. He's especially welcoming." Hanji smiled rinsing his hair. Levi hummed as Hanji began washing his body with rose scented soap. She was careful around the scrapes on his back. Judging from the position of them, Levi got them way he was being rubbed against a wooden floor. The thought of someone taking the innocence of this precious child in front of her made Hanji sick. Through her thoughts she had finished washing him and was now rinsing off the subs. 

he helped him out and dried him off. Levi stood in the bedroom with a large whit towel wrapped around him. "Here, you're all required to wear the uniform in some manor. This is yours." Hanji said pulling out a pair of white pants, a white long sleeve shirt, a pair of boxers and a pair of rainbow fuzzy socks. "Don't tell anyone about how you got these socks. It'll be our secret." Hanji giggled handing the pile of clothes to Levi. The teen began to get dressed as Hanji pranced around the room, rambling about how one of the patients had the most beautiful green eyes. Green eyes. Levi stopped mid way through pulling his short over his head. "Isabel." He whispered. "Huh?" Hanji stopped her ramblings to look at the raven. "My sister. Her name is Isabel. Is she okay?" Levi looked up with hopeful eyes.

"Oh baby. How do I say this?" Hanji mumbled as she stepped closer to the boy. "What happened to her?" Levi whimpered, his mind raced of the possible things that could of happened to her. "Don't worry pumpkin. She's okay. The police found her before she got to the house. She won't be able to visit you however. She's in a foster home." Hanji hugged Levi tightly and rubbed calming circles on his back. "When will I be able to see her?" Levi asked, his voice muffled by Hanji's blouse. "When you reach the year mark you can have visitors, but we'd have to clear it with her foster parents." Hanji spoke calmly. "Do you think you could hold out that long without her?" She asked pressing a soft kiss to the stop of his head. ".....yeah." Levi hesitated. After all, he had Hanji. She would help him. She was the only he trusted so far. Hopefully that would change later today. Hopefully.

~

Levi walked into the main room with Hanji by his side. "I can't stay with you today, I have reports to sort through. But the second I'm done I'll race back here. Will you be okay?" Hanji asked hugging the boy goodbye. "Yeah, don't worry." He spoke softly. "If you ever feel as if you're going into shock, or panic, press this button. It will notify me immediately." Hanji said hooking a bracelet around Levi's wrist. It was a solid grey color with a white rectangular button in the center. With her final goodbye she kissed him on the forehead. "Bye pumpkin. Make some friends." She said as she turned to walk away. The large doors closed behind her, locking the raven in the large room.

The room it self was bigger than his old house. It was two stories, giving it a tall ceiling and free feeling. Windows lined the walls near the ceiling, letting in natural light and helping the overall feeling of being underground. The walls were the same as the halls and bedroom: large white sheet rock tiles. They gave off the clean and hospital feeling. The floor was a different color for once, a long and soft navy blue carpet. Levi felt his slipper covered feet sink as he walked over to the sofas. The furniture was white, simple and comfortable. Couches were placed around a coffee table, formed to start conversation most likely. End tables with soft corners sat on either ends of the white sofas. Blankets sat in stacks on each other. Levi grabbed one and wrapped himself up. The feeling of having the fabric cover him gave him comfort. Like the world couldn't see him. Like his demons couldn't find him.

Gunmetal orbs scanned over the rest of the room. A corner looked like it was for reading, tall book shelves were stocked full. Most likely comfortable sofas were placed in a way to form a wall between the spaces, and a small wooden coffee table resided in the center. More blankets and pillows could be seen on the sofas. His eyes moved on another space. The normally barren walls held piece of art. Most of them were shit, to Levi at least, but two stood out like polished gold against rough rock. One piece was of a large wall with a silhouette of a man with twin blades in his hands and a cape on top. But that's not what made Levi stare in awe. The sunset in front of the man was beautiful. Levi had seen the sunset once or twice, but it was never this beautiful. The yellow mixed with the orange, which then mixed with the soft pink that then faded into a rare lavender and finally the darkening blue sky. Soft fluffy pink and white clouds hung around in the sky, only making the sunset more flawless. Levi was in awe of the painters talents. Just when he was about to get up and study it further, another patient enter the main room.

"Oh! uh, I-I'm terribly sorry." A weak voice spoke. Levi turned his head to look at the voice. The patient was tall, a giant to Levi, lean and from what his face gave away, was embarrassed to no end. He also had brown hair and what seemed to be soft green eyes. Levi sunk further into the blanket. "No it's okay." He replied softly. The figure seemed slightly taken back by the soft voice. "Uh, are you by any chance, uh, new?" The giant slowly walked closer to Levi. The raven nodded. "I-I'm Bertolt, you are?" Bertolt sat on the opposite sofa, he sat crisscross. "Levi.....why are you here, or is that rude to ask?" Levi didn't make eye contact, old habits die hard. "I, uh, I'm too shy. I, um, can't really f-function in, uh society." Bertolt stuttered, a permanent blush on his cheeks. "Oh." Levi rest his head on his knees, his eyes drifting back over to the paintings in the corner. "Why, uh, are you here?" Bertolt asked meekly. "I'd rather not say." Levi answered. Not completely trusting the tall teen. "Oh, okay." Bertolt looked away, waiting for the others to arrive of breakfast to be served. 

Just when Levi was about to speak again, the doors opened. Revealing a tall, tanned and absolutely gorgeous teen. The brunette raised his hands above his head as he yawned, his shirt raising a bit to reveal his toned stomach. "Hey Berty, new kid!" The tanned teen smiled. It was like the heavens had opened up. 'Holy shit' Levi was sure he was blushing, drooling and or gaping at the teen. "Name's Eren Yeager, nice to meet you." Eren said as he sat down next to the raven, his arm resting behind him. "So, what's wrong with you?" Eren smirked down at the flustered teen. Oh yes, this one is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments. If you wish to contact me for any reason my tumblr is:anal-bead-lamp.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi bond. Eren is the best person ever and Levi is hella cute.

Hanji entered her office with a sigh. She really loved Levi like a son. With quick steps she took a seat at her desk. A headache began to form as she stared at her computer screen. "I can't get any work done like this." She mumbled to no one. "Like what?" Erwin's deep voice questioned from the door way. "Holy hell!" Hanji jumped in her seat as Erwin chuckled. "Stop doing that." Hanji whined rubbing her temples. "Are you okay Hanji? You don't have to run group today, although it may help Levi if you did." Erwin said stepping closer to her desk. "No, I'm fine. I won't abandon Levi like that. I just have a headache. It hurts to look at the screen and to focus my eyes." Hanji explained taking off her glasses and setting them on the dark wooden desk. "I'll leave you alone then. Drink water and get some rest-" "I know Erwin, you're not the only one who's a doctor." Hanji said with a strained voice. "Get well soon." With that Erwin left. Hanji kicked off her shoes to reveal rainbow fuzzy socks. A matching pair to Levi's. With a push, she stood up and got a bottle of water from the mini fridge. "Today's going to be a long day." She mumbled, pulling out a small bottle of pills.

~

Levi blushed and squirmed under the watchful eye of Eren. "So, what's wrong with you?" He spoke. Eren's voice was deep, rich and seemed to have a slight accent. "I, uh, don't want to talk about it." Levi stuttered, looking away. "Oh don't be like that. Come on, I'll tell if you tell." Eren teased. Levi felt tears pick at his eyes. As much as he didn't want to appear weak in front of Eren, his teasing has struck the right cord. Back when he was in school the kids had teased him. Making fun of his clothes, hair cut, and general appearance, but they always hated the fact that he was quiet. They thought that quiet meant weak. And it's human nature to pick on the weak.

Before he knew it, a tear was running down his face. Levi quickly hid it by burying his face in the blanket, but Eren caught. "Oh shit, sorry." Eren said frantically. "I, uh, don't know what to do? Berty, how do I help?" Bertolt flushed at the attention. "I-I, I don't know." Bertolt manged to say before hiding his face in his hands and rushing off to the book section. "Um." Eren awkwardly wrapped his arms around Levi. His scent over powering the blankets rose like smell. Levi froze. Not knowing what to do in the arms of the stranger. Panic began to arise as the feeling of being dominated formed in his stomach. Levi wanted to push Eren away, but his body had turned to jelly. Eren begun to hum. The tune was calming. Combined with his heart beat, Levi felt the fear melt away. Like there was no care in the world. When Eren stopped the raven had to blinks several times to remember where he was. Levi, still blushing, looked up at the brunette.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just we don't get new patients very often." Eren smiled while rubbing the back of his neck. Levi simply nodded. "Let's play twenty questions. I go first, what's your name?" Eren asked watching Levi mess with the hem of his pant leg. "Levi." He whispered, Levi slightly feared that Eren hadn't heard him. "Nice to meet you Levi." Eren smiled again, a thumbs up joining it this time. Levi faintly smiled at the friendly gesture. "How old are you?" Levi asked, briefly looking up to see Eren's teal orbs dancing with happiness. 'Why is a guy like you in here?' Levi wanted to ask, the teen seemed too normal to be messed up like him. "I'm currently eighteen years old. How old are you?" Eren returned the question. "Sixteen, where are you from?" Levi answered and asked. "Germany, I can speak it too. Do you know any foreign languages?" "No. Favorite color?" "Green, what talents do you have?" "I'm kinda good in math, you?" "I can paint, dance, sing, play chess and most musical instruments. What's your favorite food?" Eren smiled innocently, like he hadn't just made Levi fall for him more. "Coffee-" A loud ringing interrupted the boy. "What's that?" Levi whimpered, covering his ears. "Breakfast." Eren smiled and pulled Levi up with him.

Turns out that the others had entered but went straight to the tables instead of the main room. The main room was connect to the table and kitchen area, nothing separating them besides air. Of course the flooring changed to dark grey tile but it still had the same white tile like walls and windows lining the upper walls. Eren held Levi's hand as they weaved through the tables. Sure the table area was big, larger than a house, but the tables had taken up a lot of space. Levi still had the dark blue blanket wrapped around him. He could feel the eyes of the others on him as he walked with Eren. One with major jealousy and rage. Levi pulled the blanket tighter before bumping into Eren. Eren turned around to face the short teen. "Aw, you are so cute. I swear you are made of kittens and puppies." Eren smiled brightly at the blushing raven. "Yeager!" The lunch lady shouted at the brunette. Levi jumped and immediately hid behind Eren. Grasping onto his shirt with shaking hands. His legs felt weak, if he let go of Eren he would surely fall to the ground. "The fuck Linda?!" Eren yelled back before turning to Levi. 

His eyes were wide with tears brimming at the water line. "Oh shit." Eren wrapped his arms around the teen before hoisting him up on his hip. Levi was looked like a child with their mother as Eren hummed a calming tune to the raven. But the shouting seemed to have had a worse effect than the teasing. Eren ignored the curious looks from the others as he grabbed a single tray and loaded twice the amount of food on it. Two plates of eggs, Eren hoped Levi liked fried eggs, two bowls of cut fruit, two pieces of toast, four strips of bacon, and two hot mugs of coffee. Of course it's decaf, doctors didn't want their sleeping patterns to change or the medicine to have a defect. Eren balanced the two weights easily as he walked to his table. Well, the one he liked to sit at anyways. Being at the hospital for over six years made you a little possessive over somethings. 

Eren set down the food with care for the cups of coffee. Then sitting down with Levi in his lap. "Shh, it's okay pumpkin. It's okay." Eren whispered rocking back and forth while rubbing calming circled into Levi's back. Five minutes later Levi apologized and scrambled off of Eren's lap. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry for being a bother. I really am, I'm sorry." He said quickly. Fear in his eyes and gut. Eren simply laughed at him. "Don't worry, you're no trouble. It's partially my fault for the attack. I was the one who got yelled at." Eren chuckled with a sweet smile showing. Levi felt the fear melt like ice on a hot summer's day. 

"Now, I did not manged to carry you and twice the amount of food for nothing. Eat up, I want to keep talking with you." Eren said handing Levi his coffee. Levi smiled faintly but it was enough for Eren. "Thank you." Levi whispered as he ate. "No problem. It's fun having a new person around." 'Now I just have to keep my temper under control' Eren said biting into a piece of toast. "Yeager, who's the new bitch?" 'Motherfucker'


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sickeningly sweet fluff and a look into the reasons why the others are at Sina Mental Institution.

"Yeager, who's the bitch?" 'Motherfucker' Eren smiled too sweetly to be real as he stood and faced the voice. "Oh you know the one who isn't going to be bullied by your shit behavior. We all know that without the drugs you'd be a mess, Jean Kirstein." Eren growled with a smile still plastered on his face. "Oh man Yeager, you're really asking for it today." Jean cracked his knuckles. Levi watched from the table as Eren and Jean stare each down with a piece of toast in his mouth. 'Who is this asshole?' Levi thought watching the horse faced teen bare his teeth. Eren simply stood still, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face as his fists clenched then unclenched. 'He's trying to calm him temper. Does he have an anger issue? He seems too sweet for that. He didn't even snap when I became a burden.....again' Levi thought to himself. "Break it up boys. Kirstein, I'm disappointed. Yeager, good job containing your anger." Mrs. Aberline spoke entering the lunchroom. 

Eren dropped his fake smile and replaced it with a small genuine one. "Thank you miss." The brunette sat back down and continued eating next to Levi. Jean glared at Eren before stomping away to his table. Levi turned to look at the now perfectly calm brunette. "What was that about?" Levi asked meekly. "Oh Jean Kirstein. He's a schizophrenic with anger issues that likes to pick on the newbies. Don't worry, stick with me and you'll be okay." Eren smiled at the raven. Levi relaxed, having someone who would stick with him, someone who wouldn't betray him, was comforting. The two ate with little conversation in between. Once the thirty minute mark hit the patients all stood with their trays and walked to a large white door off to the side. Levi followed after Eren like a duckling. Eren had no problem with that, he really like Levi. How cute and shy he was. It was refreshing from the constant white, navy blue and more white. His gunmetal orbs were endless and his soft meek voice made Eren want to hug him and never let anything hurt him again. But he feared himself. How he could hurt the small raven at the flip of a switch. He didn't want to hurt the younger teen, so he refrained from anything that could cause a spout of anger.

"Come on, we're heading to group." Eren said with another smile. "Okay." Levi nodded and followed after the taller teen. The large group of twelve patients walked down a wide yet short short with different rooms on either side. The group found their way into a large room, a circle of comfortable chairs was in the middle with a larger one placed at one end. Hanji sat there with a clipboard in her hands and a glass of what appeared to be coffee next to her. "Sit, we'll begin soon." Hanji spoke with a kind smile. Her eyes shining happily as Levi stuck close to Eren. The pair sat next to each. "Okay, since we have a new patients here, let's introductions and why you are here. Reiner, would you begin?" Hanji asked the large blonde next to her. 

"I'm Reiner Braun, I have sever anger issues which cause me to get in fights a lot." The blonde sat back down. Eren stood, "I'm Eren Yeager, I have black out periods where I can't control my actions." He spoke vaguely before he sat back down. Levi didn't stand, only crumbling into his blanket further. "Levi Ackerman, depression." Levi only said the half of it. The eyes of those around him, judging him, questioning him, picking him apart. "Historia Reiss, I ran away from my family twelve times, created a fake identity and have depression." The small blonde spoke. Her soft voice and appearance completely contrary to her story. "Ymir, anger issues I guess." A tanned girl with freckles spoke in a monotone voice. "Jean Kirstein, I see my dead friend all the time and Yeager annoys the hell out of me." The two toned male spoke with a slight growl. Levi flinched at the tone, Eren put a comforting arm around him, Levi leaned into the touch. "Connie Springer, I developed a love for pranks when I was younger. Of course they evolved into setting fires, setting off bombs in empty alley ways and making napalm in my kitchen." Connie had stood up with a happy spring in his step and sat back down with a happy smile. "Sasha Blouse, my mother hated me for some reason. So she controlled everything about me. Where I went, who I spoke to, how I dress, how I talked, when I went to bed, even I how I fucking wrote my name. I need some control, I craved it. I found it in my diet. I could control my weight, the one thing she couldn't." Sasha ranted with an every growing grin but was calmed with a few comforting pats on the back by Connie.

"Armin Arlert, I watched my grandfather be publicly executed. After that my mother began drinking, then beating me whenever she wanted. Seeking control, I played mind games with her. Making her question weather or not she placed her keys near the door or in her purse. Small things like that till I had convinced her that she had killed someone. It was funny watching her pace in the living room, till she got angry and began to beat me again." The blonde coconut sat back down, tears forming in his eyes and a psychotic grin on his lips. "Mikasa Ackerman, I was told that obsession with my crush was unhealthy. I beat the person who said that and anyone who got in the way." Mikasa sat back down, her face had never change. Blank, pale and beautiful. "B-Bertolt Hoover, I, uh, am really shy." The tall boy stuttered, his face was red and he had begun sweating. "Annie Leonhart, my father forced me into fighting competitions. When I won those, he forced me into underground fighting. When I had begun to lose he pumped me full of drugs and sent me out in the ring." The blonde girl with icy blue eyes sat back down. "Great job, let's continue with the session shall we?" And with that the session continued. It mostly consisted of telling triggers, ways to combat them, and how to trust people again. An hour later they were finally done. 

"We have free time now. If you want I could show you the piano." Eren smiled as he walked down the hall with Levi's hand in his. Levi simply nodded as he was lead back to the main room by this god sent angel. "Levi!" Hanji shouted as she ran down the hall. She wore a wide smile as she looked at the pair. They had bonded quickly. "Yes?" Levi replied, his voice at a normal volume for once. "I told you that I would visit you after my reports and sessions, but I can see that you've met Eren." Hanji wiggled her eyebrows in Levi's face. The raven teen shuffled back with a renewed blush. "Aw, I'm just teasing. Remember pumpkin if you ever feel like talking, I'm here!" She said running off again. Levi watched the female brunette run away before turning to face Eren. "Uh, What do we do now?" He didn't get a verbal response, instead a large smile. But if was just as good.

Eren took Levi's hand once more before darting off to the main room. The brunette immediately led the smaller teen over to another section, one that Levi didn't get to view, and sat him down. Surrounded them were musical instruments, all of them had a lock on. Keeping unskilled players from creating racket. Eren took out a key and unlocked the piano. He lifted the wooden cover to reveal the black and white keys. Eren held a look of sadness before relaxation replaced it. Levi had caught it, it wasn't that hard seeing as the older teen is like an open book. Levi began to think about why Eren was here in the first place. During group he was pretty quiet, secretive, not giving anything away unless Hanji dug for it. It all made Levi curious as to what Eren was burying. But he was snapped out of his thoughts by the beautiful melody coming from trained hands. 

The whole atmosphere within the main room seemed to calm down. Most conversations quieted down to nothing and all movement was frozen. Levi had the thought of how such a kind and flawless human like him could possibly be in here with a fuck up like him. Levi didn't know how long Eren had been playing, only the fact that he had fallen asleep to the calming music was apparent to him. Eren looked over at the raven. He had heard the raven had trouble sleeping without Hanji from listening in on a conversation. It made him ecstatic beyond belief that Levi was able to fall asleep with no troubles. He didn't want Levi to relive anything he had before. He wanted to pave a new path for him and Levi to walk down. Together. 

 

But of course fate has a different idea for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mind has turned to mush from the comments. You all are so kind.
> 
> If you wish to contact me for any reason, my tumblr is anal-bead-lamp.tumblr.com 
> 
> Have a wonderful day and continue feeding me my life blood -comments


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren reveals one of his many hidden faces.

"evi, Levi you need to wake up." Levi slowly opened his gunmetal eyes to see teal orbs staring back at him with a sickening amount of love in them. "What?" He voice was raspy and held a sense of vulnerability. "Come on, let's get you some lunch." Eren spoke softly as he helped the small teen up. Levi simply nodded, acknowledging the empty feeling in his stomach. "Today I'm pretty sure it's something with chicken and for dessert there's pudding, cookies and coffee cake- HUH?" Eren looked down to see Levi with wide hopeful eyes, a small but bright smile on his lips as they walked closer to the tables. The scent of the heavenly dishes wafted through the air, Levi couldn't wait for his taste buds to finally taste the orgasmic cake.

The pair stuck together as they got in live for lunch. The others in line as well. Jean seemed to be mumbling to the air with a longing look in his eyes before he spotted Eren. "Yeager! Marco says you're a piece of shit!" Jean chuckled to himself seeing Eren step forward at him. Levi darted his hand out to hold Eren's subconsciously. Eren instinctively yanked his hand away from Levi's as he stomped forward. "Tell your ghost of a boyfriend to fuck off!" Eren growled, his voice was rough and anyone could tell he was a minor trigger away from snapping. "Eren-" "I thought you had more self control than this, Yeager. Me and Marco both know that you're going to hurt Levi. You'll feel his blood." Jean taunted, cutting off Levi.

"Motherfucker you did this." Eren mumbled as he rolled up his sleeves. Levi didn't bother to take a moment to ogle at the strangely sexually pleasing forearms, his only thoughts were on the fighting. The others had backed up a surprising amount and the kitchen workers were covering food before hiding in the back. "Levi, come on! There's no stopping them now." Armin called out, his hand was outstretched. Levi scrambled over to the blonde before anything happened to him.

His pulse was already racing and his breathing was catching up. Levi felt the oncoming attack but couldn't pull the strength to his arms to push the button. The group hid behind a table as Jean cracked his knuckles. "Careful Yeager, I'm going to win this round-" A strong, jaw breaking punch cut him off. His body hit the ground with deep thud. Eren hadn't said a word since his last sentence. It was like someone had taken over his body. Levi felt his body begin to shake as he witnessed who he thought was an angel grabbed Jean's collar and hold him in the air. His feet dangling only inches above the tiled flooring. "This is the monster you're hanging with." Jean grunted before Eren threw him to the side. Jean's short flight was stopped by a table. His back made a sickening crunch as it hit the edge. 

The enraged brunette grabbed Jean once more by the collar before repeatedly punching him in the face. The crack of his nose, the squish of the blood combined with the sputtered breaths made Levi sick. The complete power Eren held over Jean. The way he didn't care about his well being. The way his inhuman growls sent shivers of remembrance down his spine of that night. Levi tighten his grip on his arms. His blunt nails digging through the blanket, his shirt and into the skin. The stabbing pain of the red crescents couldn't distract him from the tightening of his throat, the chill that spread through his body, the clear noise of his blood acting as lubricant squishing in his ears.

Levi fell to the ground, his thin legs no longer able to carry the heavy weight above them. Armin dropped soon after him. The fear in his dark blue eyes was evident enough that this was bring back memories for him too. Annie's ice blue eyes darted around. Looking for that damned cackling that overpowered her thoughts. "Go away!" She screamed, dropping to her knees as she held her head in her hands. She tightened her grip to the point of pulling her light blonde hair out. "Please, I'll win." She whimpered between sobs. 

Eren let out a what could only be described as a roar. Levi could feel his brain rattle from the noise. Doctors and other personnel rushed into the room. The ones who weren't doctors were dressed head-to-toe in black S.W.A.T armor. "Eren Yeager, calm down!" Hanji shouted, hidden behind three guards with riot shields. The enraged brunette turned to the voice. Dropping the unconscious and bleeding Jean, Eren ran at the crowd of S.W.A.T and doctors. "Fire!" Tranquilizing shots ran out. Eren being hit with four of them. Tanned hands ripped them all out. A deep growl sounding from his throat before rushing back at them. "Another round!" The S.W.A.T began to load their dart guns once more. Eren's claw like hand easily gripped the S.W.A.T helmet. In a spilt second his knee went through the visor and into the man's face. The crunch of the plexi-glass and his nose along with the screams as the shards entered the man's face filled the already noisy room.

More orders were shouted out as Eren continued to beat the team bloody. "Eren, snap out of it!" Hanji shouted at the top of her lungs. Her roar of a voice silenced the room. Eren paused for a second before standing taller. A deep growl leaving his throat as if to say 'come at me, just try to take me down'. The brunette charged at the group. Pushing the others away like scum before he was only inches away from Hanji. "EREN!" Levi screeched. Everyone looked over at the boy. Each holding a different expression. "Levi." Eren mumbled weakly before fainting. Hanji, though stumbling quite a bit, caught him. A wave of relief washed over the room. The other doctors, Erwin, Mrs. Aberline, Mike, and Mr. Coles, rushed over to the group of shaking patients. 

Erwin held Armin to his chest, rocking back and forth and patting along with his heart beat on the smaller blonde's back. Armin had fallen into a half conscious state before Erwin handed him off to Mike. Erwin sprinted over to Jean. His eyes wide at the damage. "Get a stretcher, there's no way his back isn't broken." Erwin ordered. A few of the nurses ran out and returned with a stretcher. They carefully transferred him on it before exiting the room. Levi stared at the mess that Eren had created. Blood stained the dark tile, white tables, lunch bar and the walls. "I can't trust him either." He whispered holding his chest tightly. His breathing began to pick up. He had let Eren hold him. He let Eren in his walls. Eren knew that he could lose control and hurt him. He had humiliated Levi. Letting him stick to him like a new born baby to their mother. 'The others think I'm a moron for trusting him. They'll never accept me. Who knows how they'll react when I led on my own uncle.' Levi began to chuckle. His shambles of what his world once was, was falling even farther apart. The pieces that could have once been put back together turned to ash. 'Of course it's me who falls this far into insanity'

As Levi feeling his world crumbling to the point of no return, Eren had woken up to chains the bitter cold darkness. He once more felt the cold hands of someone he cursed everyday of his life creeping around his body, mainly near the lower half. 

"Such a good boy......such a good boy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin snaps and we learn about Eren's past.

Eren awoke with a scream. His gauze wrapped hands moving over his body quickly in effort to push the ghost hands away from him. "Please!" He sobbed into the darkness. His pulse began racing as his breaths became weak. The darkness brought back terrible memories. Awful thoughts that plagued his nightmares. "Someone please turn the light back on!" He shouted gripping his head. His fingernails scraping along his scalp. The sting that followed made him freeze. It was so similar. "Please, just turn the lights on. I hate the dark. I HATE IT!" Eren brought his legs to his chest as he rocked back and forth. Hot tears ran down his tanned cheeks before dropping to his exposed collar bones. "Please......just turned the lights on." He whimpered, his voice desperate and pleading. 'I don't want to belong to the darkness anymore.' He thought as the exhaustion got to him. 

~

Erwin walked down the hall, his dress shoes making small yet resonating taps as he quickly found his way into his office. Hanji, Mike, Mr. Coles, Mrs. Aberline, and the nurses stood inside, most wearing a face, some in shock, and one with horror. "Erwin!" Hanji spoke up, her face showing her emotions. "When was the last time he had snapped? Why was he allowed to be with the others! WHO LET HIM NEARLY KILL ANOTHER PATIENT!" Erwin roared. The staff flinched back in fear. Some tearing up. Hanji stood with her head down. A look of pure horror turned to one of tears. "I thought he and Levi could-" "YOU. You let a patient with a record of snapping and beating others to death, one who had ripped three adult men to shreds, one who had murdered his own parents before eating their bodies raw, converse with someone who wouldn't be able to defend himself against a ten year old girl. With little to no supervision. Do you know how dangerous that was. How long did it take for him to snap after meeting Levi? Who in their right mind let that poor, already broken boy watch who he thought was a good person, beat another patient into a coma and another three officers to the point of no recovery. You don't deserve to be a doctor. You've fucked up Hanji, in ways that you don't-" "I KNOW I'VE FUCKED UP. I know that I've ripped another thing away from him. I know that I've broken him to the point that I'm not even sure that he can recover. But I am going to fix this. It's my last dying wish for this boy to get back on his feet. To become strong enough to know that he's perfect the way he is. That it's not his fault that his sick excuse for a family abandoned him. That his crack whore of a mother didn't abandon him because he wasn't good enough. I want him to love himself and others. Now, if you'll stop yelling because of a mistake that anyone could have made, I have a patient who literally hates himself and thinks no one can be trusted." Hanji retorted. Her voice breaking in several areas. Erwin was left in silence. Hanji had never snapped at him. No mater how mad he had gotten at her, she always apologized calmly and made it up. But this time, he knew saying she doesn't deserve to be a doctor crossed the line. After all, it was the only thing she was good at. It even tore what she last had apart. "Mike, could you go check on Yeager? If he's awake stick a needle in him, I don't want to replace another wall of bars." Erwin sighed sitting down at his desk. "Yes, sir." Mike left the room with two nurses in tow. 'Hanji why did you do this? He should have stayed in the second basement. Locked away like the monster he is.' Erwin sighed as he buried his head in his hands. 

~

Levi laid on his bed silently crying. Tears found their way out, not bothering to ask permission. His breathing was calm, unlike his thoughts. They were racing with what had happened. Another person crossed off the list of people he could trust. "E-Eren, why?" He sobbed, his throat cutting off his voice before any more words could leave. "Levi." A woman's voice spoke sweetly. Like a mother watching her son cry over the death of the family pet. "Hanji." Levi whimpered sitting up. "Hey pumpkin." The brunette woman looked down at the small teen with a mixture of emotions. Levi weakly held his arms out at the woman. "Please?" He added softly to the gesture. Hanji smiled slightly before walking over to the bed. She laid down next to the boy, letting him wrap his thin arms around her and rest his head on her shoulder. 

The two laid in silence. Levi's tears had stopped when Hanji had entered the room, she had a calming effect on him. Her voice calmed his demons to whispers. But it could compare to Eren's single glance that silenced his demons to nothing. The glance that made him forget everything bad in the world. Those absolutely stunning turquoise orbs caused him to fall in love. "How ya feeling pumpkin?" Hanji whispered. Her voice seemed strained, like she had been crying and or screaming before hand. "....I don't know." Levi mumbled into her shoulder. "Same." The two stayed in another long silence. But both parties were still very much awake. The events that had happened only hours before still shook Levi to his core, making sleep impossible for now. Hanji was stuck thinking about her actions. Had she really put Levi in that much danger? The way Eren had looked at Levi, like he was the most beautiful thing in the world, said otherwise.

"Do you know what made Eren snap in the first place?" Hanji spoke once more. The mention of the brunette's name made Levi flinch. "...Jean had gone off about his self control. How he would end up hurting me somehow." Levi answered, pronouncing Jean's name wrong. Hanji hummed in response. She knew that she didn't make a mistake. Eren never wanted to hurt the raven, only to protect him. But Erwin was furious. He wouldn't let Eren within a twenty foot radius of Levi again. "How do ya feel about him?" Hanji turned her head to look at the teen's thoughtful expression. ".....don't tell Erwin, or anyone else?" Levi blushed deeply as he dug his face deeper into Hanji's shoulder. "Pinky promise." She held up her pinky, a childish grin on her lips. Levi smiled softly holding up his pinky as well. 

"Before, I thought he was perfect. I was always thinking how someone with such a flawless personality was here of all places. How someone so beautiful could possibly be broken in a way that he would have to be locked away for......but now I don't know." Levi took in a breath. His blush going down. "Now, I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of him. But I also get the feeling that something bad is going to happen. That he's going to turn against me and harm me like he-" "Levi, don't you ever compare Eren to that monster. Let me tell you a little about him. Eren was the son of a well known doctor. His father, Grisha Yeager, had saved a whole city from an outbreak of measles. That man was held in high regards. No mater he did, weather it was drink to an excess or yell at his wife, he was forgiven by the city police." Hanji paused to hold in the disgust she felt and take a breathe. 

"When Eren was born the man began to practically train the boy. Starting at the age of seven, Eren was forced into many sports. Soccer, baseball, football, any thing you could think of. From the age the boy could read, he was forced to read high level books and write reports to prove he read them. When he turned ten, you know what his birthday present was? It was the gift of a beating. The boy had begged his mother to make a cake for him. Saying that the kids in his class got one on their birthdays. His mother had agreed. When Grisha came home to see Carla and the boy frosting the cake, he flipped. He destroyed the cake that they had worked hours on, then beat them both. Eren never asked for anything again. Not wanting to hurt his mother. Grisha pushed the boy further and further. Eren skipped many grades, learned things that most adults don't know even now. By the age of eleven he was a genius, he knew how to play over twenty instruments, read, write and speak in German, Japanese, Turkish, English, Latin, and Spanish and he was polite as could be. This was when the black out periods began." Hanji paused once more. He voice had begun to waver.

Levi listen in slight awe. Eren was amazing. Knowing so much but still being caring and compassionate with those most would consider less than them. It made Levi's heart swell, but the mention of his black out periods made him stop dead in the tracks of forgiveness to the brunette. "Grisha had apparently been doping the boy up on some drug. Using their large basement as a lab, he made a serum to make the boy stronger, smarter, and even more perfect. He had it named 'Titan'. Of course Eren was the first test subject. The side effects were the black out periods. Grisha took detailed notes of them. At first they started out with simple fainting, sometimes it would be like Eren had left his body and nothing took his place. His body simply stood or sat there. But as time went on, his anger grew. His temper shortened and it only took a few small words to make him snap. Grisha quickly realized this and began treating the boy more like he wasn't there. Eren had snapped and attacked his father. The years of sports with the added serum made him stronger, with almost titan like strength, Eren had beaten his father to the point of near death. We're not sure how Grisha had managed to get the boy chained and locked in the basement, but he had. He transferred the boy into home-school to keep Eren away from the public as he used him like a test subject that he could use however he wanted. Eren has never told us what happened after that. He always either broke down into tears, didn't respond or snapped. We could never get passed that wall he set up. We have a few suspicions that Grisha had beat, starved, and did many other things to him during the year and half the boy was in that basement." Hanji finished, her voice cracking and her throat had protested use harshly.

Levi tightened his grip on the woman as tears began to form. He had never known how badly Eren had it. He thought the boy simply had anger issues during his black out periods. But it was much deeper than that. "I thought that he was a monster. That he only gained my trust to break me further." Levi sobbed, his heart breaking at his own behavior. "It's okay. Tomorrow I'll take you to see him. I believe the only reason he snapped was because you were threatened. I think he loves you." Hanji said before coughing. Levi blushed deeply before raising his head. "Where is Eren?" Levi asked, a curious expression showing on his face. "He's in the second basement. When we first got him, we had to make it so he couldn't get out easily. The boy is much stronger than he looks." Hanji added a dry chuckle. Levi looked down at his hands, they were gripping the white sheets loosely. "Hey Hanji, why do bad things happen to good people?" Levi whispered tightening his grip. ".....I don't know either." Hanji replied staring at the boys pained expression. 

'I really don't know'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a fun time writing this chapter. Although I believe some of Eren's past is over the top, I think it adds to the facade that he's somehow managed to put up. I'm sorry for any timeline mistakes, as I have slightly forgotten a few of the dates I had set up for Eren's past, hopefully it sounds correct and not like a giant cluster fuck. As always, comments, criticisms and compliments are welcomed. If your question wasn't answered in this chapter, it will be in the next few ❤


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren snaps once more, Erwin and Hanji make up, and someone get's closer to Levi.

The tall blonde under the name of Mike, entered the basement. The low ceilings made it difficult for him to move around, his head occasionally bumping with the smooth white ceiling. "Yeager?" He called out, the dark end of the room was completely silent. Not even the sound of faint breathing could be heard. "Yeager." Mike called out once more as he turned on the light inside the cell. Eren was hunched over. Mike sniffed the air, there was the heavy scent of sweat and body odor along with a hint of blood. Mike quickly turned the brightness up, the lights inside the chamber shone brightly. "Yeager, are you alright?" Mike called out, his fist lightly knocking on the thick glass. "Be a good boy and pick your head up." Eren twitched, his head slowly rose to expose the blood stained skin around his mouth, bared teeth and what appeared to be bits of torn flesh between his straight now stained teeth. 

Mike stumbled back, his feet losing their stance, sending him to the floor. The tall man stared at Eren as the brunette torn bigger, more bloody chunks out of his hands and arms. The squelch, slush and slurp of the blood and chunks of muscle was disgusting at best. The nauseating scent of copper twisted Mike's stomach. His mouth salivated before his lunch came up. The stomach acid and bits of food splattered against the dark stone floors, adding another horrid scent to the air. "Yeager, can you be a good boy and calm down?" Mike said forcing himself up. Eren snapped his head up. His eyes shone brightly with the need to kill. Mike cleared his throat, ignoring the taste of vomit, and approached the control panel for the large door. As he was pressing in the long digit code out of the corner of his eye Eren was messing with the chains that held him down. Mike turned his head to get a better view of the boy when Eren's face suddenly appeared against the thick glass. Mike jumped back once more, the smear of the blood and the deep growl sent a fearful shiver down his spine. The boy had eaten away at his hands enough for the blood to slick his hands up for the chains to slip off. He was now free in his cell. 

Eren reeled his fist back, Mike scrambled to get to the phone. His hands shook as Eren repeatedly punched the glass. Although he knew that the reinforced glass was impossible to break with just your fists, the resonating bang of the glass injected fear into his veins. With the last button pushed, Mike held the phone to his ear. A few seconds passed, the phone connecting with the other. "What do you need?" Erwin's tired voice spoke, the shouting he had done at Hanji must have taken a large amount of energy. "Yeager is awake and out of the cuffs." Mike spoke quickly. 

CRACK

Mike slowly turned around, hoping to any and every god that it was his imagination that thought up the horrifying sound. His brown eyes widen almost comically so. Eren's blood covered fist was at the center of a spider web crack. "he broke the glass." Mike whispered, his voice shaking. He leaned against the wall, his limbs shook with fear as Eren's rabid growls got louder through the expanding cracks. "What do you mean he broke the glass! It's military grade!" Erwin shouted, the thumps of repeated foot steps in the background told Mike that he was running. Eren threw his fist back into the glass, the shatter, the fall and the landing of the glass seemed to be in slow motion as Eren lept through it all at the blonde man. "Fuck-" Mike was cut off by a rough curse and shove at Eren. The brunette was thrown to the side but quickly stabilized his landing. His bloodied hands stained the floor as Erwin helped Mike up and out of the danger zone. Nurses came rushing down, a few carrying different kinds of anesthetic. "I'll hold him down, inject him with enough to knock him out for a while. Do you all understand?" Erwin stated, his eyes never leaving the feral patient in front of him. The nurses nodded and faced their opponent.

Erwin lept at the brunette, wrapping his strong arms around the teen's body in a solid hold. Eren thrashed about, his elbows making the point to hit Erwin every time. Petra inject the boy with a large amount of sedative, his body soon went limp. The mood of fear was soon replaced by the over whelming need to clean the second basement. The added stench of more body odor with the vomit, blood and previous rank aroma of Eren made the room unbearable. The staff could run their hands through the physical smell in the air. Erwin gladly took the teen boy back into the cell. He held his body near the sink as another nurse cleaned his wounds. 

Clear bite marks littered his caramel skin. Chunks of missing flesh stood out like black on white. Erwin had managed to keep his stomach in check as shredded bits of muscle, nerves and veins made faint 'splat' noises against the metal basin. The other nurses however did not. Most of them donated their lunches into the trash can, one managed on the toilet and the last on the floor. Petra was the only one that stood strong. Her petite body was more than it seemed as she could help wash Eren and hold his body slightly. "Good job Petra." Erwin nodded to her, she simply smiled. "This is my job." She replied lightly dabbing the skin with a hand towel before wrapping Eren's whole arm in gauze. Erwin silently thanks her with a nod as he laid the unconscious brunette on the still blood stained bed. 

"He really is a monster isn't he?" Petra mumbled as she and Erwin stripped the boy of his clothes. Where his teeth couldn't get, his nails took over. His calves held scattered teeth marks but his inner thighs were striped. His blunt nails had dug deep into the skin, ripping the skin and into the muscle. "....Yeah." Erwin replied. They cleaned the wounds before wrapping them with copious amounts of gauze. By the end of it, Eren's caramel skin couldn't be seen. He was covered nearly head-to-toe in gauze. "Get a drip, we'll keep him under for a while till he can be safely reentered to the others." Erwin order. "You make him sound like a rabid animal." Hanji somber voice spoke from the doorway. "Hanji, where the hell were you? Mike was nearly killed by this monster-" "So you think he's a monster? Huh, you know the reason why he flipped in the first place was because Kirstein had threatened Levi. Eren was only protecting him, don't you see? Eren would never hurt him." Hanji spoke with conviction. Her eyes shimmering with determination. "I don't want to have this talk now Hanji. Someone get the drip, Hanji follow me to my office." Erwin said walking out from the cell, through the hall that was soaked in a stew of blood and broken glass. "We'll have to fix that too." Erwin took a mental note as he left the second basement and entered the first, Hanji following after him.

~

"So what you're saying is that Eren is perfectly safe to be around Levi?" Erwin repeated what Hanji had said, just in a much shorter and compressed version. "Yes, all we need to do to make sure no one else gets hurt is to make sure no one else threatens Levi. Levi is lonely without him. He needs Eren as much as he needs me Erwin." Hanji said rising out of her seat. "If that started the first attack, then what triggered his need to murder Mike." Erwin was tired, his body ached from the abuse by Eren and he just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. "Hmm, Eren's trigger words!" "What?" "Eren has many trigger words. 'Calm down' 'be good for me' 'good boy' THEY ALL TRIGGER HIM!" Hanji shouted. "Knowing Mike's somewhat fatherly nature he probably said something along those lines. Mike, Mike triggered the attack. Erwin come on. If we sit him down, I'm sure we can break through and figure out what happened during those nineteen months he was in that basement!" Hanji was talking in a loud and relief filled voice. Her face displayed her emotions perfectly, a wide smile, eyes wide with hope, brows raised and hair stuck to her forehead from the pacing and constant talking, not to mention the running she was doing before she showed up in the second basement.

"Hanji, you know how hard we've tried before-" "Let's do it differently this time. Let someone he trusts ask him the question. Someone he would never hurt. Levi-" "No, we're- I'm not letting that monster near Kuchel's son. I won't break my promise to her." Erwin stated with conviction. "Erwin, just trust me on this. When have I ever been wrong with Eren?" Hanji said, her voice at a normal volume but it held a sweet, motherly tone to it. "Levi needs someone to trust and Eren needs someone to love. This is their chance to form a deep bond that will continue outside of the institution." Hanji approached the blonde man. Her shaky hands hidden behind her back as she rounded the large desk. "....I guess. if anything goes wrong-" "I know, I know, I know. you'll dissect my insides and figure out what made me such a great doctor.' Hanji smiled widely, her hands no longer shook. "I mean it." Erwin sent her a half hearted glare. "Yeah, I know. Thank you, I know you care about Levi but sheltering him won't help." Hanji mumbled walking out of the messy office. The blonde leaned back in his chair. Although all he wanted to do was sleep, his mind felt the need to race with the possible thoughts of Grisha and Carla Yeager. 'What did you two do to that boy?'

~

Hanji arrived at Levi's room with a wide smile on her face. Her smile soon dropped to an expression of concern when she saw another figure in the room. "What happened?" Levi asked, his voice timid yet curious. "He jumped at me, his mouth open wide and spit was all over the place. It was scary. I don't think I could go through that again." The woman said, hugging herself. "Who are you?" Hanji questioned, her tone was serious, matching her expression. "Oh I'm Petra, we've worked together for years." The young woman introduced herself with a bright smile, her voice completely different from the one before. Hanji narrowed her eyes at the hand Petra extended. "I'm here to speak with my patient, if you would leave," 'and never return,' "that would be nice." Hanji gave a sickly sweet smile, even a blind man could tell the smile was fake. "Okay, see you later Levi." Petra smiled at the raven before leaving the room. "I was able to convince Erwin to let you see Eren again!" Hanji spoke with excitement, her personality flipping again. Levi hunched over, his arms between his legs as he thought it out. Hanji sensed the hesitation and leaned down next to him. "What's wrong?" Hanji rubbed calming circles on Levi back out of instinct. Levi only tensed further. 

"I'm not sure if I want to see him again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I've been rewriting another fic and starting a completely new one. 'I Thought I Lost You' will be returning just at a later date. The story line wasn't going as I planned and the writing itself wasn't up to par. By October 6th you should see it back up though, I apologize for the inconvenience ❤


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's demons come back to haunt him.

"Hey buddy." A voice called out a term of endearment. Muffled whimpers of protest fell on deaf ears as the voice neared the small preteen boy locked in the cellar. "Be a good boy." The raspy voice whispered next to the boy's ear. The boy curled into himself, the hot breath with the hint of mint repulsed him. Made him sick to his very core. The older man trailed light touches down the boys exposed torso. Stopping every once in a while to lay a delicate kiss on the caramel skin. The boy thrashed around, or tried to at least. Long pieces of rope held his limbs down and a final piece held his torso in place. 

Hot tears ran down his cheeks as the older man slipped down the flimsy pants he had on. "Just relax and this will be over sooner." the man spoke against the boy's inner thigh, his breath hitting his exposed member. The boy whimpered, he didn't want this, nobody would. This man, who spoke to him like they were together, was no one he knew. They were foreign. Completely alien to what he knew. The boy wanted to scream, thrash about, punch, kick, do what ever it took to get out of this situation he could. But the binds held true. No mater how hard he tried to pulled his wrists or legs out of them, they only managed to scrape his skin, leaving small torn skin flags that stung when the air touched them. 'Please, don't do this, not again!' The wanted to shout, but didn't knowing the gag would make speech impossible. The man gripped the soft shaft and slowly gave it a few pumps. The man's breathing had increased along with his grin. The boy turned his head to the side and screamed as the man entered two fingers into him, dry. 

The man's eyes shined with joy. Completely ecstatic at the pain the boy before was experiencing. The boy's pleas for mercy only came out as sobs, hiccups and choked sounds of pain. "Such a good boy." The man whispered as he fumbled with his belt. 'NO, please! I don't want this!" The boy poured every ounce of energy he had into his arms. Ignoring the pain as the rough rope scraped more layers of skin as he tore through the knots. "Shit! No." The man threw himself back as the boy's eyes changed. His once innocent and pleading look transformed to one of pure hatred, murder and animalistic rage. "Now, now, Calm down boy." The man called out, his voice shaking as he scrambled back. The boy didn't listen only throwing himself forward to attack the man. "Eren!"

That's right. His name is Eren Yeager, thirteen years old, father is Grisha Yeager, the one laying before him, mother is Carla Yeager, the one standing at the doorway with a look of horror. Eren snapped his attention over to his mother. The woman stood still, her body frozen in fear. "Eren, calm down. Be a good boy and listen to daddy." Grisha called out, his tone of voice not demanding in the slightest. Eren glared down at the man out of the corner of his eye. the glint of rage in his eyes only growing. A growl left his mouth, his teeth bared and his hands flexed into claw like positions. "Eren, calm down baby." Grisha spoke once more, his voice and hands shaking. 

A second of silence followed. But was cut short by Grisha's disparate cries of pains. Eren ripped his arms from their socks. Enjoying every scream, whimper, sob, gasp, squelch, squish and sound in between was a heavenly sound to the enraged boy. Carla watched from the doorway, her legs weren't would move. Like they were made of solid lead and nothing else. Her hands shot up to offer some weak level of protection against the raging beast before her. Eren grinned almost sickeningly wide as the light faded from his father's eyes. "Eren, baby?" Carla whimpered. The teal eyed monster faced his mother. A huff escaped his lungs as he rolled his shoulders, the crack of his stiff joints joining in the subtle growls he made. 

Carla, barely mustering up the courage, was about to run. To grab a phone? To run outside? To barricade herself in a room till he calmed down? If the police searched the home they would find many things, many illegal things. She didn't know what to do but getting out of the basement was the plan, but Eren seemed to sense her plan. The boy grabbed her ankle just as she turned to run and pulled. She went flying to the ground. Her face smacking against the smooth concrete. A sob of pain made it's way out between the broken teeth and blood in her mouth. "Eren, pleath." She begged, the blood and lack of teeth causing her speech to be deformed. Eren only let out another roar. Carla held her ears tightly, how could her baby boy of only thirteen years cause this much damage? She questioned God himself as Eren stalked over her body. The blood from his previous victim dripping from his fists and onto her clean white sweater. Carla choked out more pleas of mercy before Eren flipped her. Her bleeding and dirty front was now visible to Eren. Carla tried to scoot back, to escape but Eren held her in place merely by placing a firm stomp on her stomach. The breath Carla held in her lungs shot out. Leaving her weak and gasping for breath. 

Eren rained fists down on her chest. Blood began to pour from her open mouth. He didn't take the time to listen to the crunch of her ribs, the wet noises as her lungs folded in on themselves, the sounds of his fist going deeper and deeper into her chest cavity. Carla was long gone by the time Eren was done. His forearm was painted in blood. His face splattered with the crimson and his chest soaked. The boy hunched over his mother. The intoxicating scent of blood hitting him full force. His mouth began to salivate, pupils dilate and tongue dip out to like the bits of blood on his lips. The copper taste was orgasmic to the boy. 'Oh please yes.' He thought, his battered hands darting out to grab something more substantial. His tanned and bloodied fingers grabbed his mother's arm. It was still attached to her shredded torso, but not for long. 

Eren grasped the limb tightly, if she were still alive it would have left and large bruise, and pulled. The pop of the socket coming loose only fueled his need for the lovely taste of human flesh. With his other hand, he dug his nails into the shoulder. The long thick nails pierced the sweater and tanned skin of the woman. The blood flowing from the deep crescents was like chocolate flowing from a fountain. Eren desperately wanted to taste it. He leaned down, his long tongue exited his mouth and lapped up the liquid. His hands clenched tightly at the taste. They tore the limb from the body, the blood pooling around him and the corpse. Deep animalistic growls escaped his throat as he bit into the limb. He promptly spit out the bits of sweater that had entered his mouth. He slid the sleeve of the sweater off and began to devour the arm with vigor. His teeth gnawed on the bone. Sucking on the bits of blood that remained. As Eren went for another the twisting feeling in his stomach decided to tighten even further. All of the flesh inside of his stomach came racing up. The large chunks of flesh pushed their way out of his throat, mouth and onto the concrete floor. The blood had mixed with the stomach acid and made a delightful stew of blood, bile, and chunks of human flesh. Eren coughed, the stomach acid burned his throat and left a disgusting taste in his mouth. The boy dry heaved till his abdominal muscles hurt. The brunette crawled over to his father, digging his hands into the pudgy abdomen. His hunger wasn't satisfied. The fact that he had thrown up his previous 'meal' didn't detour him from shoveling the fatty insides of his father into his mouth. 

The basement door was thrown open. Officers rushed into the room, their boots agitated the boy as he digested the remains of his family. Many of the officers held their sleeves to their faces and averted their eyes. The others simply ran out to vomit. "Boy, I'ma need ya to stand up." An officer ordered, his gun pointed at the young teen. Eren snapped his head up. His blazing green eyes locked with the officers. In that split second the gun went off. Lodging a bullet in Eren's shoulder. The boy didn't even flinch. The crowd watched into horror as the boy stuck his three of his own fingers into the hole to dig around. After a moment of wet noises and huffs, a blood covered bullet was recovered. "Get em'!" The officer ordered. Three male officers shot out, dog piling on the boy. Their combined weight crushed his rib cage, making breathing difficult for him. 

Another officer cuffed the boy as the ME took a look at the bodies. Even with a single glance anyone would be able to tell they were dead. "They're still warm, only a minutes." She determined looking at the struggling boy. The ME pulled out an anesthetic and injected it into the boys neck. "That should keep him down for a while." The woman's voice dropped in and out as the drugs took effect. Eren soon fell into a deep dreamless sleep, the first real rest he's gotten in years.

~

Eren shot up screaming. The feeling of blood coating him like a second skin made his skin crawl. The feeling of the shots entering his neck everyday sent him into a fury. The way everyone looked at him like he was a monster including his so called 'savior' Dr. Smith, made his insides burn for the need of blood. But there was this one voice in the back of his head, begging him to stop. Begging him to calm down and forgive them. Pleading for mercy. "L-Levi." Eren sobbed, hot tears falling down his cheeks. His hands were detained to the metal railings on his bed, for some reason he didn't feel the incoming fear. Or the burn of rope scraping against his wrists. He felt faintly calm. The simple mention of Levi soothed the raging beast. Levi was someone who needed to be loved. He was someone who would appreciate Eren's efforts, not punish him for a ninety on a test, or beat him when he messed up a note, or inject him with some strange substance that made his blood turn to fire. Levi was someone that Eren could love and be loved back. Now if only he could see the boy that damned his demons back to where they came from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is not as well done as the others. As much as I want to put out quality chapters, some stuff needs to be completed to in order to get to certain plots points. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. And thank you for the comments and kudos, they keep me going ❤


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji is pissed at Petra, Armin and Levi have a little talk and Levi falls into another pit of disrepair.

"Why don't you want to see Eren anymore? You know he would never hurt you. He's just having a bad time. What did Petra tell you?" Hanji kneeled next to the boy, brushing a few strands of hair away. "She, uh, didn't tell me anything." Levi stared down at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Pumpkin, don't lie to me. What did she tell you?" Hanji narrowed her eyes, an aggressive tone added to the last sentence. Levi flinched at the tone, his hands gripping the white sheets below him. "S-She just told me about Eren. How he attacked her and almost k-killed her." Levi stuttered, tears forming on his waterline. Hanji nearly growled. "Come here baby. Eren didn't attack her. He was merely protecting himself. Having a bad flash back." Hanji said rocking the boy to her heart beat. 

"Mike had gone down to check on Eren. Mike had said a few words that triggered Eren to throw a little fit. No one was harm besides Eren. Petra wasn't even in the room when he was a threat." Hanji lied. She knew what had gone on exactly down there, she knew Petra was in there while Eren was still in rage. But she knew Petra was never truly in danger. Erwin would never let any of his employees be in grave danger if they couldn't handle it. "Then why did she lie?" Levi asked softly, the constant rocking, thumping of Hanji heart and calming back rubs were making him sleepy. "I don't know baby, but tomorrow you'll be able to see Eren. In the mean time, get some rest. You'll continue the day like normal till I come and get you." Hanji stated laying the boy down. Levi, almost asleep, merely nodded. "Sweet dreams pumpkin." She whispered pulling the covers up to keep the boy warm. She placed a single, light kiss to Levi's forehead before leaving the room. 

As the door closed and locked, Hanji turned around to see Petra staring longingly at the door. "You're over twenty, it's illegal." Hanji snapped. Petra jumped then glared at the woman. "At least I know how to do my job." The strawberry blonde snapped. Hanji glared back before walking down the hall. Her footsteps were acceptably load, as she tried to contain her anger. Petra was feeding Levi lies, the reason? Hanji doesn't know, but she'll be damned that Petra will ruin it. 

~

The next day Levi managed to get himself ready without Hanji. Although his hands shook with nerves, although his stomach twisted in knots, although his mind raced with the different possibilities of Eren hurting him, he managed to bathe, get dressed and find his way to the main room. Most of the others were gathered in the main room. Armin, Annie and Bertolt were in the reading section. Reiner and Mikasa were sitting together in the cornucopia of sofas. Sasha and Connie were the only ones in the cafeteria begging for food. Lastly, Historia and Ymir were in the art section, Levi could see what they were doing. Over all, it was silent. 

Levi, with his head down and the blanket he still held onto from the other day, shuffled over to the sofas. He didn't enjoy reading or any art activity, and he would never beg again, even to save his own life, so sitting in silence was the next best option. As the raven sat down he felt a pair of eyes burning with jealousy and masked rage followed his every move. The teen turned his head to see no one looking at him. With a nervous gulp, Levi curled into himself and drifted into his thoughts; mostly filled with Eren.

The sudden weight next to him drew Levi out of his thoughts. "Hello, I'm Armin Arlert. You're Levi correct?" The small blonde with blue eyes spoke with poise and a hint of hesitation. "Yeah." Levi mumbled, although he felt safe being near the blonde, he still felt the burning glare on him. "How old are you?" Armin asked, his mushroom cloud of blonde hair shifting with every movement he made. "Sixteen, why are you talking to me?" Levi asked, making weak eye contact. The blonde gave a small chuckle. "I know what it's like to have your only friend taken away from you. When I first came here Eren had gone into a rage. He was my only friend at the time. He was separated from us for two months. During those long weeks I was lonely. The others seemed to have their one cliques. So for those long weeks I kept myself away from the others. I became so isolated that I wouldn't even talk to my therapist. I don't want that to happen to you." Armin ended his little speech with a kind smile. Like the one Eren gave him.

"Oh, that's fine." Levi felt his insides twist as the thought of meeting with Eren came to mind. Would he be the monster Petra had portrayed him as? Or would he still be the perfect prince he was before. Who was he kidding, he would still be hateful. Eren would hate Levi. He had disappointed him somehow, and Eren was going to hate him for it. "Are you okay? You're crying." Armin had leaned slightly closer and wore an expression of concern. Levi instinctively leaned back and began to wipe away any evidence of tears. "I'm fine, just thinking about stuff." Levi mumbled in response. "Oh I know about that." Armin chuckled as he looked out the windows, only a slim sliver of the blue sky was visible to them. Levi felt his heart stop, was this blonde mushroom so close with Eren that even without leaving Levi's side he was able to talk about how much he hated or was disgusted with Levi to him? "Being alone with your thoughts can be scary." Armin continued. Levi let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Back when I first came to Sina Mental Institution, the others weren't that social. So I was left alone a lot. To combat this I either read or just went through my own memories. Of course, the only things I could remember were the days my mother beat me, or the day my grandfather died." Armin began to tear up, his pearly white teeth showing in the form of a grin. Levi felt his throat dry out and blood run cold. "As the days went on I went deeper into my own consciousness. I began to beat myself up. Using my fears to create nightmares that flashed before my eyes every day. Mr. Smith said it was a way of punishment. That I was punishing myself for not being able to fight against my mother. Only a few months ago did I finally stop the visions, with Eren's help of course. He's like a big brother to me, always there to help while holding in his own problems." Armin hugged his legs to his chest, the fond look in his eyes made Levi long for his own sister. 

"Thanks." Levi mumbled, a light blush coating his normally pale cheeks. "Huh?" Armin perked up. "For sharing that with me, it makes me feel like I'm part of the group." Levi bashfully said. "It's no problem. Anyways, I hope Eren comes back soon. It gets too quiet without his constant talking or piano playing." Armin said standing up. Levi merely nodded as the blonde wished him another good luck before walking back over to the reading section. 

Levi played with his fingers under the blanket. The warm feeling of being included in something for the first time in his life settled in his stomach. A light blush danced across his cheeks, a faint smile forming on his lips. "Eren is gone because of you." A voice growled from his left. Levi jumped at the sudden noise. When he turned, dark eyes were staring back at him, a red scarf hiding the bottom half of their face. "You're the reason he's mad. You shouldn't have come here. You're only a problem." Levi felt his stomach drop, Eren would never help, much less like him again. He was a failure and should thrown aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any spelling, grammar or story mistakes; as I do not have a beta. I'm also looking for future fic ideas, if you have any be sure to comment below or message me through my tumblr. Anyway, thank you for the comments, kudos and subscribes/bookmarks, they keep me motivated to update. Have a wonderful day/night ❤


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited reunited pair of mess ups.

"Eren, are you okay? Are you thirsty, hungry, sore?" Hanji spoke softly to the boy, carefully choosing her words. "Yeah, just fine. My arms hurt like hell though." Eren mumbled sitting up, Hanji smiled wide as the boy's face came into view. "Do you remember anything?" Hanji scooted her stool closer to Eren, her hands twitching to write down notes. "No, but let me guess what happened. Someone said something, I took it personally when I shouldn't have and I nearly killed them? Was right?" Eren gave a dry chuckle as the years of being locked up, tested, prodded and questioned washed over him. He can't even remember the last time he felt the real sun on his skin, not filtered through double panned glass that didn't even reach the bottom of the cage he lived, no survived in. 

"Oh pumpkin. Don't worry, you weren't really at fault for this one. Jean-" "Fucking horse face. Of course." Eren mumbled, cutting Hanji off. "Oi, cutting a lady off is fucking rude. Don't do it again baby cakes." Hanji snapped her fingers and made an exaggerated facial expression. Eren broke into a smile, his once somber mood faded. "Sorry, Madam Hanji." Eren replied, his smile breaking into his speech. "It's okay kid. Anyway, the reason you snapped was Jean was being a dick, threatened Levi and you reacted. That's all." Hanji ended with a shrug, leaving out the second snap. "Who did I attack next?" Eren questioned, the missing chunks of skin dotting along his arms, the stinging strips of scratched skin, and disgusted weight in his stomach told him another story from Hanji's. 

Hanji perked up at the question. "No one, only Jean. Why do you think you attack him?" She stood up, her shoes clacking against the tiled floor as she crept closer to the restrained boy. "Because I attacked myself too. Look at me Hanji! I ate myself!" Eren raised his voice and stuck out his limbs. The indents in his arms and legs caught the doctor's attention immediately. A wince showing on her face. "Pumpkin, don't worry. You didn't harm anyone." Hanji wrapped her arms gently around the boy. Her twitching hands settled on different parts of his arms, the indents were nauseating, even without looking at them. Only feeling them through the gauze. Could they make someone sick. "I did, I harmed myself. I'm not even human anymore, I'm a monster." Eren whimpered. His facade falling.

Hanji stood frozen. Not in her near six years of working with this broken soul has he ever fallen so far as to cry on her shoulder. She had never even seen or heard him cry before. But as the sobs raked through the boy, pulling out every ounce of strength he thought he had, her thoughts on the boy changed. He was once a patient with a broken past, one that could simply be put back together with enough therapy and help. But now, he's a boy with emotions she could never understand. A boy that could have simply decided to end it all at many points in his life, but decided to keep living for some reason. Hanji could barely stomach the fact that the boy sobbing his heart out on her should was capable of anything dangerous or harmful to others. Sure he had a temper, but he was the most accepting of all the patients she's had before. It didn't matter what you had done or been through, Eren Yeager would treat you like the only star in the sky. But even with his perfect personality, the universe decided that he had to be punished. For what reason? She wouldn't know, she couldn't know. But for now, the only thing she could do was pat him on the back as the years of physical, mental and emotional torture finally broke Eren.

~

Hanji walked through the halls, her glasses hiding the redness around her amber brown eyes. The session she held with Eren had lasted longer than expected, and was much more emotionally draining than any other session she has had before. The way he spoke, completely devoid of hope and any sense of a positive emotion chilled her to the bone. It made the situations he's been in seem like they had attacked her as well. She tightened the grip on the papers in hand, her knuckles turned white and her canines pierced her lip. She quickly, and with a little too much force, opened Levi's door. Petra was once more inside the room.

"You out. Don't bother entering the male hall again. You've been strictly moved to the female hall. Do I make myself clear." Hanji spoke so calmly, so clearly, that even Levi felt the sheer storm of emotions Hanji was feeling. "I'm sorry, but under whose authority?" Petra questioned standing up, a fake smile once more placed on her young face. "Me, get out before I call Erwin." Hanji pointed to the hall, her face and tone giving no room for argument. Petra gave a huff before walking out of the room, her hips swaying as she stepped. Hanji rolled her eyes at the display of 'seduction'. 

"Hey pumpkin." Hanji perked up. Her tone light and expression giving off the vibe of content. "Hi Hanji." Levi smiled softly, his voice meek. "Are you reading to see Eren?" She asked sitting on the side of the mattress next to Levi. "I think so.....do you think he'll hate me?" Levi asked, his voice dripping with anxiety and hopelessness. "Have you seen the way he looked at you? He couldn't possibly hate you." Hanji chuckled helping the boy up. His white pajama like uniform was wrinkled and what appeared to be dotted with tear drops. Hanji sighed before pulling the raven into a hug. "If you're scared you don't have to." Hanji said burying her face in Levi's hair. Levi simply wrapped his arms around the woman's torso and buried his face into her yellow button up. "I want to help and see him, but I feel like it's my felt he's there. If only I hadn't come here." "Sugar cakes, don't you think like that. You need Eren as much as he needs you. Now let's go before there's curfew." Hanji said as she began walking. Levi immediately grabbed her hand and began walking next to her.

~

The two arrived in the second basement fairly quickly. Levi's soft foot steps accompanied by Hanji's loud ones stirred Eren out of his thoughts. His head picked up and he spotted the one person he was thinking most about. "Levi." He spoke breathlessly. A smile breaking out on his face for the first time in three days. Levi tightened his grip on Hanji's hand as a faint smile formed on his lips and a blush danced across his cheeks. "Uh, hi Eren." Levi mumbled, looking down. His meek personality taking hold. He was about to open his mouth again when he was suddenly encased in warmth and the scent of the woods. Eren had hugged. Eren had personally, and without being told or ordered, hugged him. Levi felt the anxiety, fear and every negative emotion in him fade as he melted into the embrace. "I missed you." Eren admitted, his voice soft and low. Levi felt his cheeks warm at the confession. "...Me too." Levi mumbled, his voice muffled by Eren's clothing. "It kinda hurts to stand so lets sit down, hmm?" Eren chuckled, pulling away slightly. Levi immediately missed the warmth but obliged to the offer.

The pair sat on the mattress, one sat criss-cross the other with his knees to his chest. "So." Eren awkwardly began. He had no idea what to say, he was never a good conversationalist. He could put on a facade and fake it, but he didn't want to trick Levi. He wanted Levi to know and love the real him. The dorky, awkward, dweeb that he is. "Oh baby cakes." Hanji said suddenly, she hopped over to the raven and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was, it made Levi widen his eyes and almost say no. "Do you understand?" Hanji questioned loud enough for Eren to hear. "Yeah." Levi nodded, his voice shaky but his movements firm. "Good, I'll be back in a few." Hanji smiled and blew them each a kiss before leaving. Of course Erwin would never truly leave them alone together. Cameras were watching their every move, security was waiting just around the bend for if Eren snapped and the IV in his arm was ready to inject sedatives if needed.

"Hi?" Levi mumbled, a blush forming on his pale cheeks. "What did Hanji tell you?" Eren inquired, a curious look in his eyes. Levi stilled, what would Eren think if he told him that Hanji and Erwin planned to use him to get information out of him. "Just, uh....that dinner will be served in a little while." Levi lied. "Tell me the truth." Eren frowned at the lie. "How did you know I was lying?" Levi immediately said, his head perking up and a fearful expression mixing with the surprise. "The tips of your ears turn red when you're embarrassed or lying." Eren chuckled, trying to hide a smile behind his hand. Levi felt his face, and the tips of his ears, warm as he ducked his head. "Sorry." He whispered, his face flushed. "It's okay, just don't make it a habit. I don't like it when people lie." It was now Eren's turn to curled into himself. The haunting memories of his father lying to him. Of his mother promising that she would get him out. Of the whispers from those damned voices. 

Levi placed a gentle hand on Eren's arm. His hand sinking into the indent. The raven jerked back. A look of horror on his pale face. "W-What happened?" Levi stuttered, with straining himself from crawling backwards. "Oh, yeah. I, uh, had a little incident. I guess I should kinda explain I guess?" Eren offered a weak smile to break the tension lightly. The chill of the basement gave the smaller of the pair a sense of fear of the oncoming story. Levi, although shakily, crawled back over to Eren. The raven positioning himself so his back was placed against the hard chest of Eren. He almost missed the wince the brunette made as he leaned further back. "Don't worry about me." Eren mumbled, adjusting their position so he could lean against the wall and Levi against him. "I guess it kinda started when I was five?" Eren began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, this chapter just wasn't flowing quite right I guess. So I spent a little more time revising it more than I usually do. I hope you find it okay, the next chapter will be filled with Ereri fluff. To make up for the late update, chapter 13 will most likely be up later tonight or very early in the morning. I apologize once more for taking so long and hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❤


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi talk, some fluff, mention of molestation and overall what happened in the basement.

"You could say I had normal childhood at first. Sure my dad didn't pay that much attention to me at the time but that got.....better over the years. Ms. Hanji probably told you about my parents already, how they practically trained me to be the best son I could be. So I won't go over that." Eren said, his voice strong as the arms wrapped around Levi. The raven gently nodded, his hands running over the older boy's arms. "Around the age of twelve my black outs had gotten stronger, more violent. Like the one you saw. I had attacked my mother and nearly tore her arm off. It makes me chuckle now because back then I was praised every day by the neighbors, teachers, even random strangers around the town for being calm and collected. But that one day I had snapped and almost killed my mother." Eren's tone had fluctuated as he spoke. He had ended with a level of humor.

"That very day, I was pulled from school, all sports activities, hell, even my god damned knitting class. I was locked in the basement, strapped to a bed by my limbs and chest. It's still so vivid in my head." Eren clutched the area around his right eye. A look of pure disgust and hopelessness on his face as he recalled the memories. "It's okay, he can't hurt you anymore." Eren whispered. His breathing labored. Levi turned around to face the teen. His shaking pale hands reached out, settling on the teens cheeks. Eren stilled, his eyes widened to an almost comical size. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here." Levi spoke in a low tone. The years of comforting Isabel had sharpened his ability to calm others. His cold hands were a stark contrast to the heated tanned cheeks. Eren closed his eyes, welcoming the new temperature. He slowed his breathing and gave a faint smile. "Thank you." He mumbled. "No problem." Levi got back into position, but this time he held both of Eren's hands. He intertwined their fingers, relishing in the feeling of being with Eren again.

"E-Every night, while being held against the wooden bed; my monster of a father would inject something into my neck. Back then it was a sensitive spot for me, flipping out when something touched me, it still is just not as much. Before then I had gotten injections from my father pretty regularly. 'He was a doctor, he knows what he's doing' was all anyone ever said when I mentioned it. I eventually learned to drop it, the consequences of dealing with an enraged father and no answers was worse than just not having any answers. But they became much more common when I locked in the basement. Every night, at eight, it was routine. He would come walking it, a grin on his face and syringe in his hands. Whatever he injected me with, it was painful. It was worse than pain. Like he had switched out my blood with molten iron. It felt like my bones were breaking in every spot they could, like my muscles were on the verge of melting, like my whole body had gone through a meat grinder. It was hell." Eren spoke slowly. Pausing every few sentences for a deep breath. Levi felt the grip of Eren's hands tighten. He squeezed them back and felt them relax.

"The nights were the worst. He would sneak it, just as I was falling asleep, and.......and, how do I put this." Levi knew what was coming. "He would 'play' with me you could say. He would whisper things in my ear as I tried to escape. Telling me how I was 'such a good boy' how perfect I was. I was sickening. Before I wished that my parents would change, that they wouldn't force me to get perfect scores on tests, practice the flute till I couldn't hold my arms up, push me to the brink of passing out every soccer practice. But the change that they had gone through was hell. It was pure, unaltered hell. I began dreading the nights, not sleeping for weeks on end. The hallucinations that followed were as haunting as him. The cackles, whispers and screams that invaded my head were annoying. Sure they made headaches worse but they kept me awake. They kept me on my guard. But the pictures. The pictures." Eren's voice broke. Sobs weaving their way into his voice as he spoke. Levi wrapped Eren's arms around him tightly. Wanting to be comforted but also to calm the other. 

"They were always of him. Always him doing something to me or my mom. But as time went on, I began to enjoy the visions of my mother being torn apart. Of my own mother being thrown against walls, being dismembered, being swallowed into another pit of what I could only describe as insanity. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mother at that time. But as time passed on, I forgot what it was like to care. To have any emotion other than rage, fear and exhaustion. Now, whenever I think of her, I think of the times she spent smacking my hands whenever I made a mistake, or when she watched in a strange trance as my father used me like a doll for his liking, and it just makes me so angry. She could have stopped him, she could have saved me from the horrors of that basement. But she didn't. She sat idly by as my own father, took my own worth." Eren was squeezing Levi to the point of pain, but Levi made no action to move or loosen the grip. He was frozen. The thought of anyone going through what he had gone through was enough to make him nauseous, but the thought of Eren, the one who welcomed him with open arms, the one who held him till he felt at peace, going through that. Levi's mind was a mixture of one part rage and two parts tragedy. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." The raven whispered. Unshed tears formed on his water line. 

"It's not your fault." Eren mumbled, his already weak voice muffled by Levi's white shirt. The two sat in a comfortable silence till Levi felt the moist hot tears soak through his shirt and dampen the pale skin beneath. "Every so often I would blank out and find myself covered in blood and missing so pieces of myself. Mentally or physically? It was probably both. That's what happened earlier. I bit myself where I could and scratched where I couldn't. The pain makes me feel human. Like I'm not some mess up that my parents tried so hard to fix. The others in the hospital think I'm too messed up for help. So I put on a facade. The staff began to treat me less like a broken piece of glass and more human. Like the more broken you are the less they think you can understand human emotion. I'm sorry for unloading this all on you." Eren said, his hot breath fanning over Levi's exposed neck.

"It's okay....Hey Eren?" Levi swallowed the nervous lump in his throat as he waited for Eren to respond. "Yeah?" "What happened the night you were recovered from your house?" Levi felt guilty for asking, but Hanji and Erwin needed to know, not to mention the black hole of curiosity in his stomach that thirsted for knowledge about the brunette. "Oh that night." Eren let out a dry huff. "Well, Grisha decided to get his dick wet. And there I was, strapped to a bed with no advantage or weapon to protect myself, not to mention that I was still half unconscious from the previous round of being beaten, drugged and tested on." Levi knew where this was going, anyone could. This had happened before, but for some reason this time I had snapped. Breaking loose from the binds, I attacked him. My mother came down to see what the racket was. I killed her too." Eren paused, his thoughts were swirling with weather or not he should tell the rest. "From what I've been told, I began to eat their dead bodies. I was taken in by the cops before I was admitted here." Eren finished, hiding his face from the oncoming disgust Levi was more than likely to aim at him. Levi removed himself from Eren's hold. The brunette knew it, the raven would think he was a monster. Disgusting for even wanting to be friends with him. God forbid if he were to find out Eren's feelings for the raven.

Instead of harsh words or screams, small arms wrapped around his shaking form. "I don't hate you. I don't think any less of you." Levi reassured him. Eren hesitantly looked up. His oceanic turquoise eyes were surrounded by red. His once so put together facade falling. "You're still the person that welcomed me in the beginning. And a little fact like that doesn't change my feelings towards you." Levi continued. Eren broke out into a small smile. "Thank you Levi." Eren pulled the boy closer. Levi gave a faint smile at the gesture before hugging back. Now all he had to tell Eren was his own story.

~

"We never even thought about sexual abuse." Erwin mumbled. His hand quickly copying down notes in Eren's file. "I told you we could get somewhere with the help of Levi. Although I didn't imagine Eren to be this, this broken. "I know, I can't imagine how we're going to help him." Erwin groaned, rubbed the lack of sleep from his eyes. "They really are meant to be." Hanji mumbled, a look of joy in her eyes as she reached out with her shaky hands. They wrapped around her mug of coffee, the warmth was a strong contrast to the bitter cold air that Erwin needed his office to be filled with. "Good job Hanji." Erwin sighed, the subtle tone in her voice urging him to say so. "Thank you boo." Her head nodding in acknowledgement. "Yeah, yeah. You should get back to your office. I know your reports haven't been completely filled out." Erwin smirked as Hanji jumped. "I, uh, have to go. I have something to do!" Hanji shouted as she ran out of the office. "That woman." Erwin smiled softly at her antics before looking back down at the screen. The pair of boys seemed to have fallen asleep. "Yeah, they really are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, they make my day. I hope this chapter is up to your standards and all that jazz. I apologize for any grammar, spelling or sentence structure problems, I try my best. Have a wonderful day/night ❤


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra you piece of shit.

Eren held the raven close as the two drifted to sleep. The warmth he lost during the past few hours returning through Levi. Levi only snuggled into the strong husky scent of woods and flowers. It gave him a sense of protection. Like nothing could ever hurt him again. With these thoughts the annoying feeling of his feet being cold, or the lumps in Eren's once flawless skin, or the sound of light foot steps in the hall could pull him away from the gem eyed brat. But the harsh pull on his arm physically could. "Hey!" He yelped, the pull on his should sending a short wave of pain through him. "Levi, what are you doing?" Petra's frantic voice demanded. Her once sweet and innocent persona switched with one of anger and annoyance. "I, uh." Levi didn't know the answer she was looking for. He didn't want to upset the nurse but he was already missing the warmth and protection from Eren.

The shift of fabric caught the pairs attention. Gunmetal and amber orbs darted over to the figure on the bed. "Levi?" Eren's soft and worrying voice spoke into the dim room. The hint of disconnection and lost made Levi's heart melt, but the grip on his arm caused him to wince. "He's not safe to be around. Levi I thought you would listen to me! Hanji doesn't care for you like I do. Come on, I love you. Can't you see this?" Petra desperate voice begged. "Ms. Petra, why are you keeping Levi from me?" Eren's voice had picked up a tone of anger, jealousy and possession. "See? If this is how he would be every time someone touched, imagine what he would do if you opposed him. He would hurt you like Kenny." Petra seethed. Levi's eyes darted back and forth. His pupils enlarged to take in more light, the expressions of the two were bright to him. Petra looked completely serious while Eren held and expression of betrayal and desperation. But the looming thought that Eren could hurt him like Kenny made his thoughts race with the memories.

"Who is Kenny? Levi please. Why is Ms. Petra here?" Eren questioned. "Kenny is the man who sent Levi here. He broke such a perfect boy. And you're just like him, you monster. Killing people like they have no value. Levi why do you trust this monster?" Petra tugged on his arm with a little more force than needed. "B-but, he had a reason." Levi whimpered. tears springing to his eyes. Why would Petra dislike Eren this much. Eren had told him everything. He told him about the abuse, he told him about the murder. Eren told him his life story in hopes Levi would still love him. "I-I'm sorry Ms. Petra b-but I like Eren." Levi whispered, hot moist tears falling down his face. "......I see." Petra responded after a few seconds. The rejection hitting her hard. "But I still have to get you away from this monster. He'll hurt you the first moment he can." Petra tightened her hold, his wrist would surely be bruises in a few hours. "No. He can stay with me." Eren spoke up. His voice just short of a growl. He just got Levi back, this pathetic excuse for a woman wouldn't take him away now. 

"That's not up to you." Petra seethed, her face pulled into a tight expression of disdain. "But I don't want to leave him." Levi inputted, hesitant to fight back, fearing the worst. "You're mentally incapable of making your own decisions. I will act as your guardian and force you if I have to!" The volume of Petra's voice had risen quite high. Her manicured nails digging into Levi's pale wrist. "Let go of Levi." Eren ordered. His tanned hands twitched. "Or what? You'll kill me like you did your parents! I don't care. Levi doesn't deserve to be around such a fuck up like you!" Petra's eyes were inhumanly wide with the look of pure disgust, possession, and insanity. "Petra!" Hanji's enraged voice shouted from the door way.

"Step away from the patients and on your knees!" Sina police guards ordered, their weapons out and ready to paralyze the woman. "No, I won't let you ruin this perfect boy." Petra caressed Levi's cheek with one hand. "Eren relax, she's not going to hurt him. Not on my watch." Hanji ordered, her voice strong and unshaken, completely contrary to her appearance. Her skin was dotted with sweat, similar to Petra. The two woman had hair plastered to their foreheads along with their breaths heavy, fast and labored. Eren grabbed his right hand, physically having to hold it back from attacking Petra. His hand tightened into a firm fist. His nails digging into his palm. 

"Petra, let go of Levi and get on your fucking knees." Hanji growled, her fingers shaking, wanting to fire the taser. "Like you did to get this job 'Hanji'?" Petra smirked, the bead of sweat rolling from her upper lip down her chin. "Petra we both know you blew the head of directors to even get into nursing school. I, however, got into med school on a full ride scholar ship. Now before I have to repeat myself, get on your damned knees bitch." Hanji smirked. Petra rolled her eyes and spit on the ground. "Don't think I'm afraid of you. You don't have the fucking balls to fire-" She cut herself off with an ear piercing screech of pain. The electrical volts coursing their way through her body convulsed her body. Her grip loosened immediately, Levi retracted his hand and fell into Eren's embrace as Petra collapsed to the floor on her knees. "Bitch, don't test me." Hanji grinned. "Cuff her, I'll get a restraining order for Levi and have her arrested for something." Hanji ordered, the men behind her marched forward. They all easily held the woman up as they carried her out of the cell. 

Hanji released a large breath before approaching the shaking raven. "Hey pumpkin, are you okay?" Her shaking hand rubbing his back. Eren swallowed back the need to snap at her. She wasn't after him, she wouldn't hurt Levi. "Yeah, it's was just unnerving....I guess." Levi mumbled, his voice muffled by Eren's shirt. "It's okay baby. She won't be back to hurt you. Let's take a look at your wrist, huh?" Hanji smiled sweetly as she carefully held the bruised wrist. A painting of purple, yellow, blues and greens covered his forearm. "How bad does it hurt?" Hanji asked, her slender fingers tracing over the wound. "It, Jesus, doesn't hurt much." Levi lied through his gritted teeth. 

"Don't lie to me pumpkin." Hanji scolded tapping the boy on the nose. Levi's eyes instinctively went cross to follow the slender finger. The two brunette let out small chuckles at the raven's cute expression. "Let's get you patched up then we'll get you two some breakfast." Hanji smiled, her hands easily finding their way to her pouch blind. Levi simply nodded. His chest fluttered as Eren nodded against his shoulder and tightened his arms. Levi once more felt at peace. Like a barrier was keeping the world's evil out. But that can't keep evil from forming from within. As Hanji stood her body fell to the side and before anyone could act, her head hit the concrete floor with a resounding thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for you all having to wait three days for this chapters. I don't know why or how, but the days just passed by way quicker than they should have. Anyway here's the chapter I spent way too much time on. I hope you all liked it ❤


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's short, it's shit, I know. Hanji's situation is slightly explained, Erwin takes over for Hanji and I don't know, I'm sorry.

"Dr. Erwin, we're not sure what caused the sudden fall but-" "I don't care about what caused it right now, just is she fucking okay?" Erwin demanded, his face red with frustration and fist clenched in some weak effort of calming his anger. "Dr. Hanji's skull is broken in two places, completely shattered in another, severe bleeding in the brain, some piece of skull are embedded in the grey matter and she'll likely experience some brain damage. Only time will tell." The neurologist spoke grimly. Erwin let out a large breath, his hand instinctively rubbing his temples. "Okay, but what caused it? Why did she fall?" Erwin's voice teetered on desperation. "We're not sure but we suspect an Essential Tremor. It causes slow loss of control to basic muscle movements, shaking and decreased balance. It's not life threatening but as you saw, it can lead to bad situations." Erwin covered his face with his hands. The threat of losing Hanji gripped his heart with an unrelenting force. "But please tell me that she can continue working." Erwin questioned after few seconds to regain his composure. "Only time will tell. But from what I can tell, a sudden increase in stress caused the tremor to worsen. She should take a few weeks off from anything that could possibly cause stress." The neurologist answered before walking away. Erwin stood still. Emotional stress? Was Eren the cause of it? Levi? Or possibly him? Oh who was he kidding. Of course it was him. He was the one who'd had been yelling at her, the one who had begun to drift away from her, the one who gave Hanji extra work because that smile always said 'Leave it to me'. Erwin felt the possibility of losing Hanji weighed on him. "Hanji, please."

~

"Because of a recent development, Dr. Zoe will be not be leading any group sessions or attending any one-on-one therapy sessions. I apologize for the change of plans but I will be taking over her patients for the time being. Thank you for your time, you may all continue with your day." Erwin spoke loud and clear. A facade covering his weak emotional state. The group of patients simply nodded, a few gave confused and or questioning glances at the man. They all knew he was the head doctor, but he had never interacted with them much. Armin quietly crept up to the man, his hands intertwined and fingers fidgeting. "Excuse me, uh, sir?" His shaky voice spoke just loud enough for the older man to hear. "Yes?" Erwin replied, his brows came together to form a crease. "My first therapy session is now." Erwin nodded as he placed a gentle palm on Armin's shoulder. The blonde doctor took note of the small flinch. 

The two made their way to one of the many therapy rooms. They were small, clean and color neutral. Each room was assigned to a certain patient, each customized to some degree. Inside of Armin's room the walls and floor were plain but rows of books lined the many bookshelves. Armin took great pride in his happy room, as Hanji called it. "So tell me how Hanji normally goes about this?" Erwin questioned as he found his way to his desk. "Why? Did Hanji not leave you any notes?" Armin's demeanor changed. Instead of shuffling around, he swung his hips as he walked. His eyes were no longer teary, the sharp colors of gem blue and ocean blue stood out against his pale, porcelain skin. His stride gave off a sense of confidence and control, Erwin did not understand the sudden change. He slowly, almost too slowly Armin noted, flipped through the file on his desk. 'Be careful of the mind games he likes to play!' Erwin read, Hanji had scribbled on the edge of the paper. "You know Dr. Smith, I've never seen you interact with the patients. So why now~?" Armin's small dainty hands slid down Erwin's chest as hot breath fanned over his jaw and neck. Erwin froze. Sure he'd been sexually harassed before, but they were never so upfront about. "Armin-" "Oh, we're on first name bias?" Armin smirked, his nimble fingers dancing across his chest. "Mr. Arlert, sit down so we may continue with the session." Erwin's voice was strong, demanding and almost enough to make Armin want to stop. 

You see, Armin loved watching others flip. Watching how his fast personality flips could give them whiplash. And Dr. Smith was no exception. The way his ice blue eyes told a long story, the thick built muscles under that doctor's coat made him fantasize about the endless possibilities, and the way the man never gave away his emotions made him want to uncoil the ever forming facade. "And what if I don't?" Erwin remained silent. Was this what Hanji had to put up with everyday? The mind games were tough, but what about the underlying problem. What would that be? Erwin stopped for a moment. "If you stop with the games, I'll get you more books." The sudden offer of books snapped Armin from his game. "Books?" The teenage blonde looked like a child on Christmas day. With a wide smile the boy found his way over to the sofa. Armin sat down criss-cross, the wide grin on his face as he thought of the possible stories. Erwin had to stop for a moment. How fast could this boy change personalities?

"I'm going to need you to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Can you do that for me Armin?" Erwin glanced up at the boy. His smiled had faded, his expression merely blank and holding a hint of remembrance. "Yeah, I can do that sir." Armin's voice was tired. Like what he was remembering sucked the previous energy from him. "Armin, do you like telling stories?" Erwin had set the clip board down and looked the boy in the eyes. The teen's cheeks flared up. "I, Uh, I guess. I mean, they're nice to share with people." Armin was never one for talking with others despite wanting to share everything he's ever read with someone. Eren was easy to talk to, they even shared the same obsession with the ocean. But he couldn't speak with the brunette, and hasn't for a while. "Then why don't you tell me a story. I want to tell me about your past but put someone else in your place. Can you do that for me Armin?" Erwin took in the boy's body language. The hunched over shoulders said he was shy and embarrassed, the fiddling of the hands was another sign of anxiety, and his mumblings put together the picture of Armin being unsure of telling his story. "I....I think so." Armin looked up, his face holding nothing but determination. A trait he had picked up from Eren. "Begin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait. Writer's block is a bitch. But I will have chapter 17 out by tomorrow the latest. But to make up for the long wait I'm also posting chapter 16. Sorry again, I know I'm a terrible person for making you all wait ❤


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin tells a sweet tale.  
> Marcus is Armin, just read the thing and it should be easy enough to understand.

"Begin."

~

There once was a little boy by the name of Marcus Greybeard. He was a curious boy. Always wanting to know the answer to everything. Even some things that society would consider too 'grown up' for a child his age. But that never stopped him from wanting to find out. Marcus grew up in a heavily Christian village in Russia. Those who spoke out against the Christian faith were shunned either out of the village, or to death. Everyone prayed everyday, went to church every Sunday, and never said the lords name in vain. If you broke the code, you were shunned. It that simple. Women were not allowed to speak up or do anything for themselves. Men could do whatever they wanted as long as there was a verse in the bible letting them. 

The Greybeard family was no different. The mother stayed home to cook, clean and raise the children while the father went out to work. They also took care of Marcus's grandfather. The man was in great health, could get around as easy as anyone else, but he did have the tendency to be 'too' kind. He would give anyone the clothes off his back, and that made him weak. Marcus and the grandfather got along great. They would spend hours talking or just sitting together in silence as they read. It was mainly the bible but the grandfather always had extra books to read. But had to hide them. The village hated information that could possibly cause someone to lack or test their belief. But the grandfather wanted Marcus to dream of different things, other than having a wife and bearing children. And Marcus did. The books he read were more than enough to make him dream. To make him dream of the ocean, of the lands of fire, of the lands of endless blue skies, of everything his small village wasn't. But he never spoke about to anyone. He couldn't. He would be killed for it. Not to mention his family too. 

But one day his grandfather had missed a day of church. The village leaders were in an uproar. Everyone was. "How could you defy the lord!" The villagers would chant as they marched their way to the Greybeard home. Marcus was the first to hear the chants. Curious as to why they were chanting it, he peeked out his window. The mob was angry. Vicious looks of anger and disgust were on their faces as they held different weapons. Marcus raced to his grandfather. "They know!" He shouted. His grandfather had simply laid down on his bed let the village men enter his home and steal him. The mother had to simply stand by as the village people stole her father away. She couldn't do anything, the bible was law and she couldn't break it. The father had also been swept up in the crowd. He wanted nothing more than to eliminate the possible threat to the lord. He held no sympathy for the man as they forced him to kneel on the village stage where they often preached. 

"On this day we make this man a known for his crimes against the lord. His crime, missing a day of worship!" A man shouted as he pulled out a revolver. It was cast in silver. The holy metal, they said. The grandfather looked up to see Marcus trembling in the back of the crowd. His fists tightly clenched and tears running down his cheeks. With his final seconds he whispered, "Dream."

From that day on, Marcus didn't speak. His father had left them because his mother had finally decided to put her foot down and disagree with him. His mother, now alone and with no way of income, began to sell her body to the travelers for money. She would often spend that money on alcohol, even if the village was dry, you could always find something. She would drink herself unconscious every night. Forgetting to feed Marcus regularly. The boy knew that he was in a bad situation. His mother didn't notice him, his father had left, his grandfather was dead and he simply couldn't bring himself to dream anymore. His dreams were once so vivid. Full of vibrant flowers, rich green grass, cool clean water falls, endless blue skies, and everything else his mind could think of, even fields of frozen water called snow. Now they were full of death. Wilting flowers, blood soaked earth and warm muddy water. Even with his grandfather's last words being what he wanted most, to dream, he simply didn't have the will to. It was like everything that made him 'him' was gone. 

As the sun rose at six a.m, Marcus saw the beautiful colors paint the sky. The mixing of pink, red and orange made him feel something for the first time in months. His dry empty blue eyes filled with tears. The light sting of them gave him a sense of life. Like the sunrise was something built for him. For the next half hour he watched as the sun rose. When the colors left, so did the sense of life. He needed to feel again, so he went downstairs. His mother was passed out at the table. Her dress had strange stains on it but he never cared. As she was passed out, he moved things slightly. Only moving them an inch at most. He smirked as his mother began to wake up. "Hello mother." He greeted kindly, but a smile nowhere on his face. "Fuck off." She swore. She had begun doing that lately. The woman began to bump into things. The slight change of the room sent her into a frenzy. "Did you do this!" She would roar at the boy. Marcus merely shook his head. It amused him to see his mother so frustrated. Not to mention that bruises that would be on her legs and hips would remind him of his doings made him want to giggle. Ever since then he messed with her.

He would hide the keys. "Marcus! Where are my fucking keys!" She would yell in anger. He would place the keys back when she wasn't looking. "How could I be so stupid!" She would begin to hate herself more. But as the days turned to week, and weeks to months, Marcus began to lack the fun he had once had in messing with his mother. She never swore at the top of her lungs or threw a fit, she simply smacked him or mumbled to herself. He didn't feel alive. So he changed it. His mother was out with a John, so he grabbed an empty bucket from the shed and held it below their neighbors dead pig that was hanging, they would drain the blood from their meat so the cutting process was easier, and waited. Pretty soon, the bucket was full. Marcus took the bucket and hid it. He knew the stench of his mother's drinking problem would hide the smell. A few hours later his mother returned and began to drink. She passed out soon enough and Marcus went into gear. He poured the blood near the back door and easily enough coated his mothers hands. She was out cold so she couldn't feel him doing it. He over turned some soil in the back, washed himself and waited. He walked down the stairs and screamed. "Mother, what have you done!" His acting had gotten exceptionally well in the past months. 

His mother shot up. The sticky, nearly dried blood on her hands catching her attention. Her eyes darted towards her son. He was clean and alive. She soon spotted the large pool of blood and out the window some over turned dirt. "Oh fuck. oh no. This can't be happening. I killed someone didn't I. Marcus, did I harm anyone?" She rambled, running her hands through her hair, seemingly unaffected by the pull the sticky blood caused on her greasy locks. "I, uh, I don't know?" Marcus seemed scared of his mother. But the weak look of terror was simply hiding a devilish smirk. "You better tell me!" The woman stomped up to the boy, her hand pulled back. Marcus flinch back, ready for the strike but it never came. "I'm going to have to move. They can't know. I don't want to die. OH fuck. Fuck this village. Fuck it! I don't give a shit anymore!" The woman began to laugh as she swore. She gripped her head on either side. Her smiled growing to an inhuman size. "Hey Marcus, guess what! I don't love you. I never have!" She shouted, her stained teeth and alcohol soaked breath making Marcus force down the need to vomit. "Your grandfather was a none believing fucker! And you're just like him! Aren't you? Speak faggot!" She ordered smacking the small boy's cheek. Armin felt the tears fall from his cheeks. He didn't mean this. She was over reacting. "I-I-" "I don't fucking care!" The woman threw Marcus to the floor, his chin hitting the dirty floor boards. His teeth went through his tongue, filling his mouth with blood as his mother released all of her pent up rage. 

Her heeled boots crushed his bones, popped his blood vessels and made him cry out in pain. His mother had beaten him before but this was different. She was digging into his cracked ribs with her boots. "How does that feel?" She seethed. Her drunken rage seemingly endless. "Mama please." He wheezed. The feeling of breathing was painful. His lung had been pierced he knew it. "Don't. Call. Me. That." She growled, twisting her foot into a tender area. Marcus fell unconscious.

~

Armin was rocking back and forth as he told the story. He had never told the story like that before and inserting another person into it made it easier to share, like it wasn't him who was abused and he couldn't be judged for it. Like his mother wouldn't disown him as she broke his body, like his grandfather could still read with him. Erwin swallowed the lump in his throat. His eyes begged to cry but he wouldn't let them. Instead, the older man got up and began to rub calming circles into Armin's back. The small blonde leaned into a Erwin's warm body. The two simply sat in silence, listening to Armin's sobs and the clock as it ticked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, seriously, give me your ideas. I've only planned this fic for so long and I'm starting to lose ideas. Tell me what to want. It makes writing easier and much more enjoyable when I have the readers telling me how to make the story more interesting. Of course, I'll input my own ideas and put my own twist on them, but your ideas will help bunches. Thanks for reading, smooches ❤


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi fluff, A little bit of Mikasa's past, Hanji being cute.

Armin's session came and went. But Erwin felt he really connected with the boy. The way Armin held onto him as he sobbed will haunt him till his dying day. He held a new respect for Hanji. The tall blonde found his way back to the main room where most of the patients were. Being that it was barely mid day, the patients were still in the main room. The large door opened and Erwin stepped in. The blonde cleared his throat before calling out, "Mikasa Ackerman." His booming voice moved throughout the room. The raven stood up from her sit in the art section and easily found her way over to the blonde. Her stoic expression taking in his appearance.

~

Levi awoke to the rhythmic sound of Eren's heart beat. "Wha?" His voice faded off, the sleep making his voice hazy. "Hey baby cakes." Eren chuckled, his chest vibrating. Levi pushed himself up with one arm as the other rubbed the sleep from his eyes. His mouth hung open and he sat up completely. "You're so cute." Eren mumbled sitting up as well. Levi noticed the color returning to Eren's face how quickly his arms were healing. "Your arms." Levi nearly whispered, the sleep making his voice weak for the next few minutes. "Oh yeah. I've always healed pretty quickly. But since he started injecting stuff into me I've healed faster." Eren stated running a finger along his arm. The indent were still noticeable but better. "What time is it?" Levi spoke again. His eyes searching for a clock. "Only ten in the morning. Don't worry, I'll still get you both breakfast." Mike spoke from the doorway. The room they were staying was another cell. Eren's previous one was too dangerous to stay in. "Thank you." Eren and Levi spoke in unison. A few giggles escaping their mouths as they stood up. 

Levi still felt tired and sore despite the full nights rest. As the trio made their way through the halls and towards the dinning room, Levi spoke to Eren. "Did I do anything in my, uh, sleep?" Levi didn't Eren in the eyes, instead he kept his head down to hide his blush. He was still a very shy person, even with Eren. Eren tensed slightly, Levi took note. "Tell me." Levi spoke with a tone that Eren had never heard come from the boy's mouth before. "You, uh, how do I put this. In the middle of the night you began to move around a lot." Eren lowered his voice, Mike had taken a mental note about the conversation. His ears heard every word despite the low volume. "And then you started mumbling something about a guy named 'Kenny'. It seemed to upset you so I tried to wake you up but you weren't having that and nearly punched me in the jaw." Eren gave a dry chuckle as Levi apologized."Don't worry about it. Instead I just kinda held you close and starting humming. After a little while you calmed down." Eren held Levi's hand, the contact made Levi feel at ease. "Later tonight I'll tell you about him." Levi had to keep himself from spitting and cursing at Kenny's name. The bastard deserved every ounce of pain he gave Levi. "Okay." Eren saw Levi was nearly trembling in anger or fear? He didn't know, but simply picked the raven up. Levi gave a squeak at the sudden height he was at as he clamped onto Eren's broad shoulders. "Eren?" He questioned. "You look tired, take a nap honey buns." Eren said flashing a smile. Levi gave a soft smile in return before nuzzling his face into Eren's neck. One of his favorite things about Eren was he ability to see when Levi needed a rest or to be held. The raven easily enough fell asleep, the rhythmic thumps of Eren walking and his calm breathing were calming to the ever turning demons in his head.

~

The raven haired female laid gracefully on the sofa in her therapy room. The room was blank, no colors, little to no furniture, everything white. Erwin guessed it gave her time to think. "So Ms. Ackerman, why do you believe you're here?" Erwin spoke clearly, his emotions were still high from speaking with Armin. "I've been here for a few years Dr. Smith. I believe we can go deeper than that." Mikasa spoke without looking in the blonde direction. Her dark almond shaped eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. Erwin was taken back by the blunt personality this young girl had but continued with his line of questions. "What caused your obsession with your sixth grade crush?" Erwin questioned. The tight gripping on her fists gave Erwin a reaction. This question was never asked so bluntly to the girl. "....He was perfect." She said after a few moments. Erwin listened to her small voice as she went on about the boy in question. "He was always polite, willing to help everyone, never late, always top of the class. He even helped me with learning Japanese, despite not being native to my own country he spoke it better than some of my own relatives. His personality was perfect. But he never noticed me how I wanted him to." Mikasa's expression had finally changed. It held a small level of bleakness. 

"What's his name." "I'm not telling you that." Mikasa snapped. She sat up quicker than Erwin could see to glare at the man. "Ms. Ackerman, how am I going to help you if I don't know his name?" Erwin was unfazed by the ferocious glare. "His name isn't important. All you need to know about him is that he's perfect in every way." Mikasa huffed. Erwin sighed. His thoughts went back to Armin's session. "Was your past traumatizing for you?" Erwin glanced at the girl. She was still sitting up but position had changed. Her legs were now crossed, the soft white pant material rose on her legs to expose writing. Over and over, one word was written. "What's on your leg?" Erwin questioned getting ready to stand up to look. "Nothing sir. Your eyes must be seeing things. Having your dear friend in the hospital must be taxing." Mikasa evaded the question. "I suppose." Erwin did not buy her evasion. But decided to drop it.

"Ms. Ackerman, please describe your first meeting with the boy in question." Erwin leaned back in his chair as the girl had a dreamy look in her eyes. "It.....It was one of the best days in my life." She whispered.

~

"Hello everyone, I hope you all studied." The teacher spoke with a small smile. "Yes Mrs. Fubar" The class replied, seemingly dead by the morning hour. A young girl with beautifully long raven hair at in the front. Her expression was stoic as she organized her papers, pens and other school supplies. The door opened catching her attention. The class, including the teacher, turned to look at the opening door. A young man wearing the school uniform and school books stepped to the front of the class. "You must be the new student." The teacher smiled at the boy. "Yes ma'am. Pleasure to meet you." He shook her hand and ended his sentence with a smile. Mikasa stared at the boy. Her heart was fluttering against her rib cage as his eyes scanned the class with the teacher. "You may sit next to Mikasa." The teacher gestured to the female and the empty seat next to her. "Thank you." The boy sat down and introduced himself to her. His smile was kind, hand warm and eyes shining. Mikasa felt her heart melt.

~

Erwin listened as the girl before him spoke. A smile had form on her face, although it wasn't small nor cute. It was large, psychotic and bone chilling. "Mikasa?" Erwin snapped the girl from her thoughts. "Yes?" Her head snapped up. His eyes held different emotions. A flicker of something unidentifiable caught Erwin's attention. Before he could speak his phone vibrated in his pocket. 

Hey eyebrows! I'm gonna be okay! :D -Hanji

Erwin felt the building stress melt away by that simple smiley face. A small smile form on his face as he typed out his own response. 

I'll visit you in a bit. -Erwin

"Was that Ms. Hanji?" Mikasa questioned. Erwin looked up at the girl. Her expression no longer held that haunting smile, instead, it was blank. Nothing. No emotions. Absolutely nothing. Erwin took down some notes quickly. "Yes, she'll be fine." Mikasa nodded at the information as she shuffled around. Her eyes locked on her left wrist. Erwin raised an eyebrow as he studied the limb from his desk. With the covering sleeve of the shirt he couldn't see anything. But he knew something was wrong with it. The sudden timer going off knocked him from his thoughts. "Well it seems our time is up. It was a pleasure speaking with you." Erwin smiled calmly at the girl as he stood. "Yes, it certainly was a pleasure." Mikasa stood as well. Straightening out her clothes, she followed Erwin as he opened the door. "Head back to the main room, one of the nurses should lead you back. It's nearly lunch time. Wouldn't want you to go hungry now would we?" Erwin joked as the girl stepped into the hall. A male nurse with short brown hair and brown eyes turned the corner to approach the pair. "I'll escort her back to the main room." The nurse smiled at the head doctor. "Good, I'll be in my office going over notes." The two men nodded to each other before separating to do their tasks. 

Erwin went back into the room to grab his notes before leaving. Once he had them all stacked neatly, he placed them in a folder. Erwin took back to the halls to visit Hanji.

The male entered the medical bay where Hanji would have to stay for a few more days. Once the male had proven his identity he entered Hanji's room. She was sitting in her bed with a large folder open. The front had a picture of Eren. "I take it the nurses have taken all of the notes down from the recording?" Erwin chuckled at the squeak Hanji let out. "Yeah, I'm going over it. Erwin this poor child." Hanji mumbled as she put a fist to her mouth. "You just got out of surgery, they also said that emotional stress will worsen the tremor, so stop." Erwin grabbed the folder and took it away from Hanji's grasp. "Hey! I was still reading that. My patients are more important than my health." Hanji said with conviction. "I know Hanji, but right now we can't have one of our most important doctors dying." Erwin hesitated on the word 'dying'. If Hanji died, Erwin wouldn't have anyone to lean on. Sure he was good friends with Mike, but Hanji had been with him for years. You can't just break that bond. 

"I guess you're right." Hanji pouted. "But I still want to work! Levi needs me." Hanji pleaded. Erwin hesitated. Emotional stress is bad for Hanji, but keeping her held up like this is bad for the patients and her mental health. "I guess, but, only if you take it easy. No therapy sessions, no group sessions, no stressing yourself. You got it?" Erwin looked Hanji in the eye. She held nothing but determination. "Yes, sir!" She saluted. Her fist clenched tightly and pulled to her chest. Erwin smiled at her before she broke into giggles. "Come on Eyebrows, sign me out so I can love on my babies!" Hanji grinned, her childish nature coming out as she hugged her plethora of stuffed animals. Sure she was childish, gave others unwanted nicknames, and got on the nerves of everyone she worked with, but she was a fine doctor, even better friend, and the light for some of the patients. And Erwin would give up his right arm before letting Hanji die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update. I seem to be apologizing for them a lot lately, sorry. Thank you Anon for the idea to explore Mikasa's background, it gave me a window to slip into the next arc of this fic.   
> I'm thinking of starting another fic, one that will be updated once a week. Please leave suggestions in the comments or ask me on my tumblr for any fic aus or simple one-shot ideas you would like to see come to live ❤


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji and Erwin talk, sweet fluff, Annie spills her lesbian feelings, Erwin thinks, more sweet fluff

Erwin sat in Hanji's room as she went on and on about random things. Just to keep her mind off of potentially stressful things. "Enough about large chocolate shakes, how are Eren and Levi?" Her bright smile and twinkling eyes begged for information. Erwin desperately wanted to keep any work related topics out of the conversation, but she needed to be answered. "Mike told me they're better than ever. Eren even carried Levi into the dinning hall because the little thing was all tuckered out." The two doctors held the same gentle smile. "And you didn't want Levi to see him again." Hanji teased. "You got me there. Levi really brings the best out of him. I can see them far down the line baking cupcakes in pink aprons." Erwin chuckled at the image. Hanji broke into laughter. It had been such a long time since she'd been stress free. It felt nice.

~

Eren smiled as Levi happily ate his late breakfast. Eren ate slowly, taking his time to watch Levi devour his small dessert. The past few days Levi had been too stressed to eat. With the personal message from one of the nurses from Hanji saying she was okay easing his worries he could finally relax to some level. Sure hearing raised voices made him shake, seeing the men with dark long hair made his chest collapse in on it self, and being left alone with his own thoughts for too long led to having Eren hold him till he calmed down, but he no longer had to be constantly entertained or babied, although Eren liked to baby him. 

Levi set down the small plastic cup as he swallowed the last of his chocolate pudding. The food here was much better than anything he's ever had before. His small gunmetal blue eyes glanced at the softly smiling brunette. "What?" He questioned, confused and a little embarrassed as to why Eren was staring at him with such a look of serenity. "Nothing." Eren replied before taking a bite of his roll. "You're just really cute." Eren chuckled at the sudden blush that exploded over Levi's face. The raven was at a loss as to what to say. His brain seemed to have taken a vacation and left him an empty mushy husk which couldn't form words. His flustered appearance and gaping mouth caused Eren to break into a loud laughter. "Oh my god, you're so precious. How can you even be real." Eren said between giggles. "Oh be quiet will you!" Levi finally managed to say something that could be understood, but it only fueled Eren's laughter.

From the other side of the room a pair of dark eyes watched with burning jealousy. Well kept nails pierced the front and back cover of the book in the person's hands, leaving small crescent shapes in the dark red material. A low growl left their throat, quiet enough for no one around to here, but just loud enough for them to hear it and calm down. Getting agitated now wouldn't help any. The grip loosened and they eventually were able to begin reading once more, but their eyes glanced back at the couple sitting many yards away every so often, narrowing at every move they made.

~

Erwin read from the file in his hands as he walked down the hall. His and Hanji's conversation had gone on for a few more hours before Hanji's doctor entered the room and suggested Erwin leave so she could get some more rest. With great hesitance, Erwin had left but took all of Hanji's files with him. He only kept the large one on Eren and read through it. Even if he wasn't going to have a session with the brunette, he wanted to be versed on him and his past. 

The blonde approached the large door separating the halls from the main room and entered his pass code. The patients were all inside and interacting on some level. Historia and Ymir were cuddled against each other as they spoke with one another. Reiner and Bertolt were in the art section, more than likely drawing. Sasha and Connie were playing board games and had a few more stacked up on either side of them. Annie was sitting in the reading section with Armin only a few feet from her with a three foot tall stack of novels next to him. But Erwin was searching for a certain pair of boys.

He found them walking over to the collection of sofas with their hands intertwined. A soft smile grew on Erwin's lips as they sat down and immediately cuddled into the other. He closed the file in his hands and approached the two boys. "How are you two doing today?" He spoke suddenly. Their small talk stopped as they jumped from the sudden voice. Eren's arms instinctively wrapped around Levi as they turned to face Erwin. "I thought you were someone else." Levi mumbled as Eren gave his own greeting. Erwin nodded and sat down in front of them. 

"Hanji is doing great, still a giant chatter box, and will be back in about two days." Erwin stated, smiles grew on the pair of teens. "Thank you Erwin." Levi said with thankful tone. "No problems, now if you will excuse me, I have a patient to tend to." Erwin got up, mentally questioning why he even sat down in the first place, and approached the tanned blonde female. "Annie Leonhart?" He spoke quietly, knowing of the near silent aura of the section he was in. The stoic female nodded and stood up. Her movements were fluid but guarded. Erwin took mental notes of her body language as they left the main room, walked through the halls and entered her room. It was simple, like Mikasa's, but had a bookshelf filled with fantasy books, Erwin noted. It reminded him of his promise with Armin, he began to think about the different books Armin might like before Annie's glare pulled him back into reality. 

"Sorry, let's get on with this shall we?" Erwin gave a smile but received a cold stare, it reminded him of Levi's expression when he first met him. Annie sat on the sofa as Erwin took his seat at his small desk. "How would you like to start?" Erwin knew Annie hated to be controlled. She craved freedom, even if it was a simple 'how would you like this conversation to go' it let her know he wasn't going to control, force or restrict her. 

"Somethings been on my mind for a while now, can I talk about that?" Annie asked with a hopeful voice. Erwin nodded, leaning back and mentally preparing for answering any questions she would have for him. "I like someone, but they never pay attention to me and I doubt they know I'm even here." Annie spoke monotone, her expression stoic and eyes distant. Erwin certainly didn't expect this. "How often would you say you speak with this person?" Erwin spoke carefully, not wanting to upset this girl. "Barely, she just carries herself with so much elegance and confidence. Like she isn't locked up. Like she has complete control over herself and her future. And I envy that, but I also want to be part of that with her." Annie spilled more than she meant but couldn't take it back now. Erwin also didn't expect the object of Annie's affection to be female, but he couldn't care less. "You should try and speak with her, become friends at first. She'll be comfortable around you, and hopefully your relationship will blossom from there." Erwin wasn't the best with relationships, he's still single for a reason, but he tried his best.

Annie nodded, taking in the information, but released a sigh. "But I know she's in love with another person. And I can never compare to them. They're perfect, kind, smart, knows how to play the damned piano, but he's taken. Which makes me worried for her and him." Annie felt the tears form behind her eyes, but she fought them down. He thumb nails dug into her lightly tanned skin, the tears eventually faded and her throat opened. Erwin closed his eyes in thought. He could tell who the male she was talking about, Eren Yeager, but couldn't figure out the female. 

He had never watched Annie interact with any other patients besides Reiner Braun, Bertolt Hoover, and Armin Arlert. But they were all mostly 'can you pass me that book', 'I'll help you on this problem if you help me on this', and 'can you grab that off the top shelf'. All of them were male, the only other girls were Ymir, Historia, Sasha and Mikasa. They all carried themselves with a level of confidence, only Mikasa, Historia and Ymir spoke and acted like they knew who and what they were, but Ymir and Krista were in a relationship with each other. Leaving only Mikasa, but something didn't settle right with Erwin. Annie went on about how her crush was beautiful, all of the details led to the crush being Mikasa.

The session was quickly over, Annie appeared less stressed than before, but overall still stoic. Erwin couldn't remember half of what they had spoken about. His mind was in a haze, only thinking about the love mess Eren, Mikasa, Annie and more than likely Levi were in. As much as he wanted to drop it and get on with work, his mind kept going back to Mikasa's past with violence and her crushes. No one besides Mikasa knew who the girl's crush was who caused her to obsess over him besides the girl herself. She had burned her own home down destroying all evidence in her room and around her home of her obsession, leaving a few beaten bodies and mostly burnt pair of parents in her wake. He glanced at his watch, he had three hours till Hanji's doctor would let him back in to speak with her, he had to wait till then.

~

Levi laid on Eren's chest, their legs intertwined, and warmth shared. Levi was always a cold person, physically and emotionally, and the warmth Eren had was almost inhuman. His head rose and fell with Eren's calm breathing. The brunette was reading as Levi drifted to sleep on his chest. He felt more at peace than he had in years. The stress of wanting to run free, to not be contained by concrete walls, the dead stare of his parents, the strong present ache in his muscles and bones after he woke up from every break, and simply the feeling wanting to be human had all been put on the far back burner, only wanting to spend as much time as he could with the small raven calmly napping on his chest filled his mind. He never wanted to let go, and he hoped the other didn't too.

Dark eyes watched from the other side of the room, narrowed in anger and jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am such trash. I took so long to write this chapter and it's shit. I'm so sorry, I've been thinking of other fics and writing them instead of this one and time just went by so quickly not to mention school is a wonderful thing that keeps me from updating every once in a while, and I'm just so sorry. Please tell me what you think about this chapter and what you would possibly want in future chapters. I hope it's decent. I know it's not, but one can hope! Have a wonderful day/night wherever you are ❤


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what's a piece of shit? This chapter and me.  
> Erwin speaks with Hanji, Annie is rude, and Hanji is worried for her babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers, you should give me possible ideas because I didn't plan this far into it. woops

Hanji snored blissfully away in her hospital bed. Her hair was free from it's normal pony tail and knotted together by the constant twists and turns in her sleep. Sudden bright lights caused the sleeping beast to let out a loud groan of annoyance. "Hanji, you need to get up. I have a feeling Mikasa isn't doing as well as we thought." Erwin stuttered over his last sentence. Like he wasn't sure what to say. Hanji sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Tell me as I get ready." Her voice was clear, no sleep remaining as she got up from her bed. 

"From my last session with Annie I know Mikasa is obsessing with another patient. That patient just so happens to be Eren Yeager." Hanji nodded as she quickly disrobed. Erwin was pacing in front of the open bathroom door, his mind too preoccupied to even think about peeping in on his best friend. "And from another session with Mikasa I believe she's hurting herself? Or maybe just drawing on herself. She had writing on her leg, I couldn't make out what it was exactly, but I'm willing to bet it's Eren's name or something related to that." Hanji had slipped into the shower, washing her matted hair and sweat soaked body at inhuman speeds as she listened. 

"When I'm done, we need to go through Mikasa's room. Find anything and everything that could be related to Eren." Hanji spoke loud enough for Erwin to hear above the running water. "Okay. It's eight thirty, I have a group. Let's meet up after group." Erwin let out a sigh, the recent stress of everything happening has gotten to him. "You're doing great Erwin, don't worry. I'm sure Mikasa won't do anything dangerous to the others." Hanji smiled at him, hiding her body behind the door frame. The blonde nodded before exiting the room.

~

The group of mental patients all filed towards the group room. Today they still had Erwin as their main therapist, but it was now known information that Hanji was going to be returning in the next couple days. 

"Levi." Eren held onto Levi's hand as they walked. The raven peered up at the brunette with a confused look in his eyes, his expression was otherwise stoic. "Yeah?" He replied, tightening his grip out of a mixture of unidentifiable emotions. "Nothing, I just wanted to say your name." Eren smiled as a blush danced across Levi's cheeks and traveled up his ears. "Shut up." Levi hissed, his flustered stated cause Eren to laugh. The raven hid his face to cover his smile. Eren's laugh was making him even more flustered. 

The group stared fondly at the pair. It was nice to see the once so distant and otherwise unapproachable Eren Yeager so calm and happy. It gave them all, well almost all, a sense of hope. That they could possibly become better. It set the goal of possible freedom.

Mikasa stood at the back of the group, her glare wasn't well hidden, and easily noticed by Annie. The blonde glanced at the happy couple, they weren't official, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time. She felt a forming weight in her stomach. Annie wanted that. She wanted to feel happy with another person. And that person she dreamed of is Mikasa. Why does Eren get to have her affection? Why does that monster get to take Mikasa away from her? Annie knew what she felt. It was burning jealousy. Her knuckles thirsted for blood. 'No, don't think like that.' Annie paused. She began to breath in and out in rhythmed motions. She counted to ten before exhaling. But it didn't help, the jealousy only grew and her knuckles throbbed, the bruises came to mind. Annie quickly hid her hands in her hoodie.

"Are you alright?" A warm hand was gently placed on her shoulder, barely touching her. Annie jumped back from the touch, her fists raised and ready to fight. "I'm not going to hurt you." Eren's calming voice rushed to answer. Annie's ice blue eyes scanned the hall, she saw Levi's grey eyes glance at them before disappearing into the group room. "Then what do you want?" Annie hissed, her eyes narrowing at the brunette before her. "You suddenly stopped and you seem stressed. A lot more stressed than normal. I'm just worried for you." Eren spoke low, his movements slow and almost nonexistent. 

"Like hell you're worried for me. You're too busy worrying about that little twerp." Annie was quick to insult the raven. Eren clenched his fists, his trimmed nails digging into his tanned palmed, drawing blood. "Annie, I suggest that you don't insult Levi again. It's not my fault that I can see your feelings for Mikasa, or that you jealous about something. Just don't go glaring at Levi and I." Eren spoke eerily calm for someone on the brink of lashing out. Annie felt a chill run down her spine.

Eren stared her down with a cold look in his eye. The oceanic turquoise blue was cold and dull. Lacking any and all empathy. "Are we clear." It wasn't even a question. Annie quickly nodded, the rest of her body was frozen. A smile formed on Eren's lips before he nodded and entered the group room. Annie snapping up from her fear driven haze to see an impatient Erwin standing at the door. The blonde rushed in, apologizing lightly at the door. The doctor raised a brow at her strange behavior but brushed it off, he had a group session to tend to.

~

Hanji shuffled around her office. The previous piles of files, random papers, books, therapy plans, and god knows what else that reached the ceiling were cleaned up and put into their right place within filing cabinets. Hanji flung open her office curtains. The dark blue curtains were a stark contrast to the clean white that is everything else. The sunlight poured in, bathing the room in a warm glow that Hanji missed. Of course with the double pane windows, the warmth was weak but it was there. 

"What to do, I have to wait for Erwin and I have no idea what I can do in that time. I'm just so worried about Levi and Eren. What if something happens? What if someone tries to harm my baby?" Hanji carefully sat down and let her head rest against the back of the chair. 'Too much movement and stress can cause the loss of balance and muscle control. Breath in, breath out.' Hanji thought as she mouthed along to her words. Her chest rise and falling in a rhythmic pattern. Once she felt the terrible thoughts vanish from her mind, she opened her eyes. Her jagged, bitten, nails tapped lightly on her desk. Her mind was in another place as she stared out the window at the clean yard that surrounded the facility. "I hope they're okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trash. I'm worth nothing. I took so long for this chapter. It's shit. I'm so disappointed in myself. I guess time flies when you stare at the wall for twelve hours a day and get behind in school. I apologize again for being so gosh darn late, I'll be posting more chapters more often (hopefully) now since I have a few typed up, but they're still rough drafts so we'll see I guess.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The climax of the 'Mikasa what is wrong with you' arc and Levi is my son who needs to be protected.

Group came and went. Reiner had shouted at Erwin for questioning his loyalty to Bertolt's friendship. Annie had to be restrained after taking a swing at Connie after he insulted her. Connie was removed after he threatened Historia. Ymir was also removed after nearly breaking four of Connie's ribs. And last but not least, Historia was sent back with Ymir when the taller female wouldn't let go of the blonde and nearly bit one of the nurses. Levi was left a wide eyed mess by the time it was done. "I guess it must be the full moon." Eren had joked a bit to loosen Levi up as they left. The raven guessed it worked as by the time most of them were back in the main room he wasn't thinking about the group of radically insane assholes he now lived with. 

Eren practically pranced his way over the art section. It had been way too long since he had drawn anything. His fingers were twitching. Levi watched as he followed after him, just at a much more casual pace, and small smile on his lips. Eren was like a kid in a candy who was just told they could have anything they wanted. His arms were full of pens, pencils, papers, paints and more. When Levi finally arrived Eren was already mid way through sketching something. The rough lines were light and hard to see from his angle so he simply went to go get a book.

After a few, thirty, minutes, Levi finally chose his book. It was an old favorite, 'Carry On' by Rainbow Rowell. The cover was simple; solid yellow with red outlines of the two main characters facing each other. Levi walked back over to Eren and sat down in the beanbag only a few feet away from him. Only a few sentences in, and Levi was already enveloped into the story. You could literally kick him over and he would only realize it went he hits the floor. Eren peeked at the raven out of the corner of his eyes and smiled before going back to his drawing. This went on for hours, even past the time when a nurse came by and said they could go back to their rooms.

~

Hanji and Erwin silently walked down the hall. Their minds were running wild. What was Mikasa hiding? What would she do to get Eren alone? Would she attack Levi? They soon arrived at the raven's door. Hanji unlocked the door and turned on the lights within the second. The pair stepped in and glanced around the room. It was well kept. No color. No personal items. Nothing out of place. Bed well made, military style. It was almost hauntingly clean. Hanji shook the weird chill off her back and charged forward. Erwin followed her as they over turned pillows, blankets, her mattress, looked behind the sofa. Nothing.

The pair stepped back, their eyes darting all over the room to try and find anything. "This." Hanji trailed off on her sentence as she stepped towards the mirror. Her longs arms stretched around it, took it off the multiple clips that kept it to the wall, then took wobbly steps back till she could set the mirror against another wall. Erwin and herself stared at the large painting on the white wall. Eren Yeager stared back at them in dark brown paint with a mess of words around his head. Hanji stepped forward; her legs were shaking, hands trembling, and breath shallow and slow. Erwin was frozen in a multitude of emotions. 

"He will be mine. Why won't he notice me. Fucking love me. I'll kill that little brat. I'll tear out his lungs. Mikasa Yeager. Mikasa Yeager. Mikasa Yeager." Hanji read off in a quiet whisper. Erwin swallowed the lump in his throat before standing tall. "I believe this is grounds for the removal of Ackerman from our facility?" Hanji nodded before sharply turning around. She marched out of the small bedroom, down the hall, and even in the elevator she paced around till she arrived on the right floor. Erwin arrived only a few minutes after, before breaking into a sprint after Hanji. 

The brunette woman opened the doors, her rage that she tried so hard to keep down showing as her breathing quickened and hands clenched around nothing. "Mikasa!" 

~  
An Hour Earlier  
~

Mikasa sat in the art section peacefully watching Eren as he frantically worried about his drawing and soon to be painting. Her smile was calm and relaxed but hardened into a sneer as she witnessed Eren smile at Levi. Her hands clenched into fists, snapping the pencil in her hands. "Hey Mikasa, are you okay?" Annie asked quietly from her spot in the mass of bean bags. "Peachy." The ravenette growled out. She forced her attention back to the drawing she was working on, another portrait of her obsession. But Annie kept staring at her. 'She's twitchy. Damn you Yeager.' Annie gritted her teeth as Eren held up the large paper with the water color complete. 

"Hey Levi, look!" He looked like a kid in a candy house on Christmas day. His smile took over his face and eyes wide and sparkling. The raven looked up and took one look at the drawing before folding into himself as a heavy blush danced across his face. "It really looks like you doesn't it." Eren chuckled as Levi faintly nodding as he buried his head in his book. "Mikasa, does it look like him?" The brunette had no idea what he was doing as he spoke that simple sentence. Mikasa clenched her jaw tight. It was an amazingly detailed water color painting of Levi as he faintly smiled at nothing. And it pissed her off to no end. She wanted to be the one of his affection. The one of his obsession.

Before anyone knew it, Mikasa's fist was through the paper and grabbing Eren's collar. Levi jumped at the strangled cat noise Eren let out as Mikasa smashed their lips together. Levi, even knowing it was completely Mikasa, it broke his heart. He and Eren had yet to kiss. Levi clenched his teeth and instinctively formed fists of his hands as he marched towards the pair. 

Eren threw himself back as he coughed and took in as much air as he could. "Eren! Why don't you love me? Why do you love that?!" Mikasa shouted, throwing her hand out to point at the obviously pissed Levi. Her face turned in time to see Levi's fist just before it collided with her face. "Mikasa!" Hanji's voice shouted into the large. All of the attention that was once on Levi and Mikasa was now on Hanji. Levi was too pissed, tired, and something else he couldn't name to go run up and hug her. "The bitch is down." Reiner said pointing to her unconscious body. "Good." Hanji smirked as a group of nurses with a stretcher entered after her. 

"Mikasa Ackerman is being removed from our facility after going through rigorous questioning. If you have anything to share about her, please talk to your therapist. Group and session will continue as normal. If you have any questions please contact Hanji or myself." Erwin announced as he approached Eren. "You were the object of her obsession for a while." Erwin spoke quietly so only Eren and Levi could make out what he said. The brunette was visibly shaken as he stood up.

Levi stared at his throbbing fist. It had been so long since he had gotten in a fight. He had forgotten the pain that accompanied punching someone directly in the nose. The last time that happened was. Was when he woke up mid way through his assault. Two arms wrapped around him suddenly, frightening him. "Huh?" He gasped breathlessly. "Don't worry Levi, you didn't do anything wrong." Eren's calming voice spoke. A dry chuckled left Levi's parted lips. "I know. I was just thinking back a little." Only then did Levi notice that his hands were trembling. 'I still haven't told him.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you readers have any ideas? I would love it if one of you, even if it's just one, would share the ideas that you're too lazy to write yourself. Even if you think it's terrible, it's got a 90% chance of being in this fic at some point so just share them. Thank you all for reading this chapter, putting up with my lack of ideas, shitty writing, and especially the late chapters. I'm once again apologizing for it being nearly three days late. Anyway, send your ideas to my tumblr or just comment them below. Love you all ❤


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff out the ass and what I'm sure a lot of you have been looking forward to *SMUT* *jazz hands*

After the deal with Mikasa everyone was on edge. The girls, on their way back to their rooms that day, had seen Mikasa's drawing on the wall as the nurses cleaned it. Annie was the only one of the group to determine that Mikasa had drawn Eren's face in her own blood. The rest of the day she couldn't even bring herself to smile in the mirror. So she kept quiet. 

~

Levi stuck a whole new level of close to Eren. Not that Eren was complaining of course. He simply wrapped his arms around the raven and held him close. The pair, Eren was nearly draped over Levi, approached Hanji. Their faces in a mix of excitement to finally see their beloved doctor and exhausted stress from the past ten minutes. "Hey pumpkin, slightly larger pumpkin. What can I do for ya boys?" Hanji's smile was large and bright. Completely contrasting from her previous mood.

"Eren and me, have been talking about sharing a room. You said we could do that, right?" Levi timidly spoke to the motherly doctor. "Oh, I see what's going on here~" Hanji smirked. Eren stared wide eyed at the woman. "What the hell are you talking about?" Levi spoke before Eren could comment. "Oh you know. Staying up late to play board games with each other. Reading books under the blankets with flashlights. Oh, coloring in the new Disney fairies coloring book we got a shipment of." Hanji had leaned in midway through her list of things to move her eyebrows and grin mischievously at the pair. 

"I kick ass at monopoly." Eren said simply. His face in a mock stoic expression but eyes shiny with happiness. Levi snorted at the statement. "I'd like to see you try. I've never lost a game of monopoly....Then again I've only played twice." Levi whispered the last line as the memory of playing for hours in a free day in third grade with Farlen and Isabel. "Well then, we have to change that, don't we?" Eren pulled himself off of the raven and pulled him over to the board games. Eren saw the sad expression that had fallen over Levi's face when he thought of his past. It made Eren more curious than ever, but he wasn't going to force him into anything. 

Hanji watched as Eren and Levi grabbed the box for monopoly. Her soft brown eyes crinkled at the end as she smiled. Eren had made some comment as Levi stretched to get another game of Clue but came up more than a few inches short, causing the smaller of the two to explode in a heavy blush. "Shut up!" Levi's 'snarky' comeback only made the brunette laugh harder. It eased so much stress in her to watch the pair get along so well. But she knew that something wrong would happen sooner or later. Maybe that thing was small, but knowing their luck, it could possibly tear them apart.

~

After catching his breath, Eren grabbed the Clue game and chuckled at the pouty expression Levi was sporting. "Come on baby cakes. We gotta find out who did it!" Eren held the two boxes along with several stacks of cards, each for a different game. "You dork." Levi hid the smile on his face as he followed after Eren back to one of their rooms. 

-Warning, this is literally just going to be them being cute together, prepare your ovaries-

"Oh come on! I rolled a five, not a six. Eren you saw that right?" Levi glared at the dice that proudly displayed six dots. "Nope, it clearly says six. Move your little car, you thief." Eren snapped thief comment but it held no bite.

"Why are you still salty? I'm always the car." Levi smirked as he moved his piece. He could see Eren slightly fuming as he handled the small brass piece in the shape of a car. "No, I'm the car." Eren replied simply. "But you're the dog." Levi internally giggled as Eren frowned at the small dog form. "You're my bitch." Levi let out a giggle as he spoke. Eren snapped his head up, a look of complete and under betrayal on his face. Levi pressed a hand to his mouth to keep himself from laughing too hard. Eren's expression was exaggerated way too much to real. 

"I for one think that you're the bitch in the relationship." Eren nodded along to his own statement. Like he was listening to someone rant about something with own own opinion. "So this is a relationship, huh." Levi mumbled. His eyes were darting around the board. Eren was in way better shape than him. More money, more properties, and hotels and homes. Levi on the other hand, was barely holding on. One property that he couldn't afford to put a house on. He knew who this game belonged to. Eren truly never lost a game of monopoly. 

"Well yeah. We both love each other, right?" Levi snapped his attention to Eren. "You, uh, love me?" Levi knew that he felt a extreme level of care for Eren, but he hadn't thought that Eren could feel that much towards him. "Of course I love you....You love me too, right?" Eren seemed smaller than he really is as he folded into himself. A sense of fear and anxiety taking over. "Of course I love you. Why wouldn't I?" Levi responded almost instantly. His eyes were wide and hands now on Eren's shoulders. "That's good. Wait, better than good. It's great!" Eren smiled widely. But it soon fell to a nervous state.

"Do you want to continue monopoly? Cause you just threw it to the side and now everything is everywhere." Eren chuckled looking up at the raven. "Nope. It's for your sake. We both know that I was totally winning that game." Levi chuckled as Eren snorted at the obvious sarcasm. "Yeah yeah, help me put the game away so we don't loose any pieces." Levi nodded and the pair went along picking up the small bits and pieces of the game. 

As it laid to the side of the bed, the pair fell into a cuddling position. Eren's arms wrapped tightly around Levi's much smaller body. Their legs were entangled and faces only mere inches apart. Eren was going on about the supposedly amazing hot chocolate that would be available tomorrow and on for two months. Levi had guessed that it was for the holidays that were quickly approaching. 

His gunmetal eyes kept instinctively looking at Eren's lips as they moved. The fuzz in the back of his head that reminded him that Mikasa had gotten to kiss him before he had was the only thing he heard before he moved forward. Eren shut up instantly as he closed his eyes and savored the moment. He could still taste the coffee cake on Levi's lips that he had eaten a few hours ago. The raven pulled back. A blush had taken over his cheeks and even climbed to his ears. "I love you." And with those word Levi drifted to sleep in Eren's arms. The brunette was stunned into silence. Never had those words been said so openly and sincere at him. Sure he and Levi had exchanged 'I love yous' only a few minutes before, but this one sounded much more sincere. A smile formed on his lips as he followed in Levi's steps. He pulled Levi closer and felt sleep wash over him. 

~

"Hey Levi." Eren's voice woke Levi from his light sleep. "Yeah?" His own voice was heavy with sleep. "What do you want Er-" Eren cut him off with a kiss that quickly became heated. Eren's tongue swiped along Levi's bottom lip. The raven, barely knowing what he was doing, opened his mouth. Eren moved his body so he hovered over Levi's body. His knees were on either side of the raven and hands holding Levi's hands down. 

Levi felt the growing heat in his stomach as he quickly became hard. 'Oh shit, where is this going?' Was a fleeting thought as Eren peppered light kisses on the pale jaw. Levi held back his moan as Eren settled at his neck. Switching between kissing, sucking, and lightly nipping at the skin. Hickies formed as Eren moved down, his main focus on his pale collar bone.

Eren's hands let go of his wrists for a split second to pull the long sleeve shirt that was covering his torso. Levi didn't even bother to think of the light bruises that seemed to never fade as Eren gazed down at him. His eyes seemed to be shinning in the dark room. Eren moved his body further south as he pepper kisses down Levi's exposed chest and stomach. The raven arched into the touch and whimpered when it came to an end. A strained 'Eren' voicing his want.

"Now now, no need to be so greedy. You'll get what you want soon enough." Eren's voice taunted him. The brunette pressed a hand to Levi's clothed erection pulling a moan from the younger teen. Levi's pajama pants soon followed in the steps of his shirt: thrown across the room. As Levi took a minute to get used to the feeling of the frigged air, Eren took off his own shirt letting his toned and tanned chest be seen to Levi's eyes only.

Thin pale fingers mapped Eren's chest. The brunette shifted down before looking at Levi in the eyes. Even without speaking Levi knew what he was asking. "Yeah, go ahead." Eren smiled and gave a short peck to the inside of Levi's thigh. He quickly lubed up his fingers with his own saliva and got to work. 

Levi gripped onto Eren's shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. Levi melted into the mattress below him as Eren got passed the tight ring of muscle. It was uncomfortable but a welcomed feeling. He knew it would feel good soon, and even better because of Eren. But what he didn't expect, was the sudden explosion of pleasure from only two of Eren's fingers. The brunette smirked into the kiss and pressed harder on the bundle of nerves. Levi let forth an orchestra of moans. The pleasure rolling through him. He didn't notice the third finger slipping in.

Levi whimpered as Eren pulled his fingers out. "Eren~" His whining was quickly replaced with a high pitched moan as his fingers were replaced with something much long, and thicker. Eren gave the smaller of the two time to adjust. A deep chuckle sounding from his throat as a fountain of 'oh fucks', 'holy shit', 'what is this even', 'oh', and of course 'fuck me'. Levi gave a quick nod and a faint smile to let Eren know he could begin moving. 

..::::..

"Levi." Eren's soft whisper entered his head like he was somewhere else. "Levi. You gotta get up, we can't be late for breakfast again." Why the hell was Eren talking about breakfast in the middle of making love? "Gosh darn it, you little marshmallow." "Eren?" Levi whined once more before opening his eyes to a brightly lit white room. "And he rises!" Eren smiled widely at Levi as his mind raced. 'Oh fuck.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time writing consensual smut. Hope I did well. Tell me if I did well, or if I completely bombed it and destroyed all hope for you in my writing skills. Not to mention that it's late so oops?  
> Since a few people have commented about Armin and who he is going to be in a relationship with I'm not sure how I'm going to figure this one out. Because I didn't plan on Armin being in any 'one' relationship. I see him floating around taking what he wants in this fic. There's a 90% chance that I will post other fics of Armin and Erwin or Armin and Jean with completely different aus and such, but that will take ideas so if you're interested in that you know, help.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day/night, it's night here so, ❤


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My poor sun child Jean and his memories of Marco. -short chapter-

"Hey Marco, hand me that screw driver." A young teen muttered as he hunched over the bookcase on the floor. "Here you go, Jean. How much longer now?" The fourteen year old brunette smiled handing over the tool. "Uh, just a few more minutes?" Jean replied in an unsure tone. "You said that half and hour ago, silly." Marco chuckled pulling his knees to his chest. "Yeah I know. Just hold on, freckles." Jean said tightening the screws in the shelf.

-

"Jean!" Marco called out running down the street with his hands waving in the air. A sheet of paper in his right hand. "Marco?" Jean turned around from watering the plants outside the florist to see Marco just before he jumped on him. "Whoa! Freckles? What happened?" Jean said, his brow creased in worry. "Don't look like that sugar cube, I passed!" Marco's smile reach from ear to ear, his eyes shining with joy. "What? Are you serious? That's amazing!" Jean wrapped his arms around Marco's waist and spun around. "Yeah! I'm getting into the college of my dreams. Jean you know what this means? I can finally move out." Marco wrapped his arms tightly around Jean's neck, his tears of pure joy soaking into Jean's collar. 

~

"How are his vitals?" Hanji asked entering the room. Her hands shaking lightly as she settled herself against the bed frame. "His heart is in perfect condition. We've managed to restore his face mostly to the way it was before, but he'll have some scaring around his nose and above his brow bone. Other than that, he's perfectly fine." A nurse answered. "Then why hasn't he woken up?" Hanji looked over Jean, the boy seemed to be in a peaceful sleep. The corners of his mouth were drawn up slightly in a small smile. "Alright, there's nothing we can do now till he wakes up. We'll check on his every hour." The nurse said leading Hanji out. "Alright." 'Sweet dreams Kirstein.'

~

"Why the fuck do none of them have other tabs open?" Jean growled at the large television. Marco chuckled as he snuggled into the more muscular boy's side. "Do these people not text? No phone calls? Who the hell only talks over skype?" Jean ranted as the movie "Megan is Missing" played. "Jean, calm down. It's just a movie." Marco chuckled, intertwining his legs with Jean's. "Yeah, whatever. It's still shit." 

-

Marco sat on the kitchen counter, his lips locked with Jean's who stood directly in front of him. "I love mornings." Marco mumbled when the two parted for air. "Same." Jean chuckled going in for another prolonged kiss. Marco happily wrapped his arms around Jean's neck and pulled him closer.

-

Jean's laughter was drowned out by Marco's singing as the pair drove down the long country road. The freckled brunette was singing along to the radio, his voice much louder and over the top. "Baby can't you see, I'm fallin'." Marco rolled his shoulders as he looked at Jean with a fake lustful gaze. The other laughed loudly as Marco continued his over the top dances. "I love y-" The car rolled. 

~

"Marco?" Jean's hoarse whisper tore through the silence of the white room. The faint beeping of the heart monitor sounded hazy. Like it wasn't even there. All Jean could hear was the present laughter of Marco, his one and only love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ending notes will be at the end of the Christmas Special.  
> Thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi asks Hanji about sex and may our beautiful savoir always save the day.

Although Levi felt awkward every time he looked at Eren directly, he got through the day. He kept up his usual behavior, but he knew that Eren could tell something was wrong with him. The group of patients left the group room. Today was another round of talking about a certain emotion and how it affected them personally. Eren could barely concentrate on what Mrs. Aberline was saying as his attention was strictly on if Levi was okay. Had he done something wrong? Did last night frighten him? Eren didn't know, but he was sure to find out.

~

The pair was currently sat in the reading section, reading of course. Levi was leaning against Eren's just like they had when Eren spilled his past. Levi continued reading 'Carry On' while Eren was reading 'Gone Girl'. The silence was thick, the only sound was the clanging of the dish washers in the kitchen around the bend of the room. 

Levi was unable to concentrate on his book. The never dying need to tell someone about his dream was killing him. But he couldn't. Hanji is busy with only the lord knows what. Erwin has a whole facility to run, he wouldn't have the time to listen to his stupid love life. And he doesn't have any real emotional connection to anyone besides Eren, who incidentally is the subject of his problem. While focusing on his thoughts Levi hadn't noticed that he's begun repeatedly tapping his forehead with the book. 

"Levi, is something wrong?" Eren asked holding the book away from his face. The ravenette put on a smile and replied with a soft no. Eren looked at him for a few more seconds before going back to his book. Levi hated himself for lying to Eren. He knew how Eren hated liars. But he just felt too embarrassed to speak about this with Eren. With a few more minutes of thinking, Levi decided to wait till his next one-on-one session with Hanji.

~

Hanji leaned back in her chair. Her head pounding. "Fucking hell." She mumbled opening her desk drawer to a bottle of heavy head ache medication. "Whoa there Hanji. You aren't a horse. Get some sleep instead of taking that." Erwin chuckled as he entered Hanji's office. "Nah, I still got three reports to fill in. Speaking of reports, I completely updated Eren and Levi's, including the information from today's group. From the data we have, they're both in great mental shape. Levi has his slight depression still and the usual triggers for Eren are losing their effectiveness. He didn't even flinch at the use of 'Eren, honey', and 'this will just be a little pinch'. He still can't stand the phrase 'be a good boy' though." Hanji said perking up, grabbing the finished file and reading off some information to Erwin.

"That's good. I think Levi's going to be a rather quick turn around. We'll just have to get him ready for the outside world." Erwin said with a worried expression. "That's sure to bring him down again. Let's wait till he thinks he's fine." Hanji spoke pouring herself a cup of coffee. Her hands shaking slightly. "I'll do it. Be careful Hanji, you're still recovering." Erwin said taking the cup and pot from the brunette. "Rude, I can still do things like pour myself a cup of coffee." Hanji huffed. "You really shouldn't be drinking coffee, what you need is a nap." Erwin said pouring the small amount Hanji had in her own cup back into the coffee pot. 

"Like I said, I have too much to do." Hanji said massaging her temples. "Don't stress yourself Hanji." Erwin spoke softly. His tone holding a slight somber tone to it. "I know, it's just so much to do." Hanji muttered. "I'll ask the board for an increase in the budget so we can afford more assistants?" Erwin said ending in a question. "That would be nice. But I really don't want anyone to have to live here like everyone else. It's almost like a prison." Hanji chuckled to herself looking out the small sliver of a window that went around the top foot of her walls. Giving her a good view of the flowers there as well as the grass. 

"I would personally work it so they come in twice a week and do reports, file things, make coffee even. Things like that." Erwin offered looking the windows as well. "That could work, but it's not up to me. It's up to you eyebrows." Hanji giggled at the nickname. Erwin groaned. "Alright Hanji. Get some sleep." Erwin said leaving the room. Hanji merely grunted as a departing word.

~Four Days Later~

Levi and Eren haven't been talking, merely being in each others presence. Levi felt the worry start to crush him. Eren had stopped playing the piano on the second day and wore a look of exhaustion. The bags under his eyes sucked the bright green from his eyes. He was just deflated. Every time he tried to speak to Levi, the raven would somehow shut down the conversation.

Levi was glad that the torture would soon end as today was his one-on-one session with Hanji. He woke up earlier than normal, having another dream about Eren which he quickly forgot, took a shower in record time, got dressed while brushing his teeth, and entered the main room whilst thinking over how he would speak about his problems. He didn't even notice that Eren was already awake and watching as Levi hurried about with a soft smile on his tired face. 

An hour later, Levi was seriously regretting getting up early. He had nothing to do besides read and he was cold. The blankets were just like adding a layer of ice to him. He wanted to curl up next to Eren as he played the piano. He missed the sound of Eren lightly humming the words to some of the songs he played. Only Levi knew that he did that, being the only person close enough usually to hear them over the music. Finally, after thinking he might go insane. Eren entered the main room. The others arrived in pairs or trios minutes after Eren. 

The brunet smiled calmly and approached Levi. Eren knew that Levi was cold, he always told him about how every night he had to curl up with Isabel to sleep through the night with warmth. Levi didn't even have to ask before Eren was engulfing him in a hug. The warmth was heavenly to the cold he was surviving seconds ago. "So why were you up so early this morning?" Eren asked grabbing a book from the coffee table. "I finally get to talk with Hanji." Levi answered. The two got into their cuddling positions: Eren pressed against the back of the sofa with Levi against his chest. Eren held his book open with one hand that was extended under Levi's head, his other arm wrapped tightly around Levi's waist. Levi held the paper back book close to him as his head rested on Eren's arm and legs intertwined with the others. They laid there, silent.

-

Levi finally noticed Eren was asleep when Eren's book fell to the floor. Armin looked horrified, offended, and betrayed when it hit the floor. Levi apologizes quietly before picking the book up. Once the book was safe back on the coffee table, Levi got back to reading. But he couldn't. The story now seemed boring. All interest he held in the adventure of some boy and his best friend in a magical world was gone the second the book hit the floor. So he placed it back on the table and pushed himself against Eren. The warmth was pulling him towards sleep. Just a little nap couldn't hurt, right?

-

Eren woke up an hour later, just as breakfast was closing. He winces as he heard the last tray be taken away. "God damn it." He mumbled with a sigh. "Don't worry, I saved you and short stuff both a juice box." Ymir smirked tossing the two boxes at Eren. Despite having one arm pinned against the couch, Eren caught them both. He thanked Ymir and opened his. 'Hmm, apple.' He thought sipping the cold juice. The sugar would help him through till lunch. Eren wanted to wake Levi so he could also drink but he also wanted Levi to get his rest. He had also noticed the dark bags under his eyes darken over the past four days. When he had finished the last of his juice, he set the empty box next to Levi's on the coffee table. He wedged himself back into his position completely before simply messing with Levi's soft black hair.

-

An hour later Levi finally woke up to Hanji's soft voice. "Come on kiddo, we have a session together." She smiled at the boy before helping him up. "Thank you Eren for not waking him." Hanji said as the taller boy finally got blood rushing to his right arm. "Yeah, no problem. I noticed he was missing on some sleep so I thought he could use it." Eren smiled brightly, like the past four days haven't robbed him of his own sleep. "Thanks again, I'll get to the bottom of this in the session." Hanji said carrying the still out of it Levi to the one-on-one rooms down the hall.

Levi's was very soft. Light colors, comfortable chairs, and soft artificial natural light to give the room a sense of warmth. Levi hated the cold. "So, pumpkin. What's been going on with you? I noticed that you've more quiet than usual." Hanji said sitting down. Levi adjusted himself in the large light grey chair before speaking. "Alright, I had a really weird dream and I can't get over it." Levi said nervously. His eyes focused on his nails. "Describe the dream?" Hanji seemed interested, very interested. "Um well. I was, uh, doing something with Eren." Levi stuttered. 'why can't I just say it?' Levi felt a blush grow on his face and climb his ears. "Could you elaborate?" Hanji asked jotting down some notes. 

"We were having se- I can't say it, it's too embarrassing." Levi squeaked slapping his hands to his face. The cold they held was a stark contrast to the heat of his blushing face. "Oh pumpkin, did you have a 'wet dream' about you and Eren?" Hanji asked calmly. Levi could only nod. "So why is this bothering you?" Hanji asked leaning back. "I never had one of them before. Sure I've crushed on some celebrities, but this is different. It feels different." Levi said feeling his heart skip a beat as he thought about Eren. "I think you're in love." Hanji grinned. "What? Yeah, I know that but what about that? Why do I want to do that with him? After what he did." Levi asked flailing his arms slightly before settling into a statue like stillness.

"Levi, what he did was unacceptable. That was not what you want to do with Eren. What you want to do with Eren is love making. A completely different thing to the trauma you went through." Hanji said firmly. "But-" "No buts, making love is what two people in love do. It's not bad in anyway" Hanji smiled as Levi's blush grew. "Okay, I understand." Levi said looking up at Hanji. 

"Good, no love making yet though. There are a few things you'll need, and know, before you do that and I highly doubt that Erwin will allow two patients to do the do." Hanji said with a light chuckle. Levi giggled along with Hanji. "After I speak with Erwin about this, I'll sit you and Eren down separately or together and talk, alright?" Hanji smiled as Levi nodded. "Good, we still have twenty minutes to go. What would you like to talk about, kiddo?" Hanji leaned forward as Levi went on about 'Carry On', she took a note to grab a copy herself.

~

Levi felt his heart become lighter almost instantly after speaking about the dream with Hanji. What Kenny did to him was not what he wanted to do with Eren. With Eren, it would be making love. A completely different thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ending notes will be at the end of the Christmas Special.  
> Thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean's getting better, physically and emotionally. And the sexual tension between Eren and Levi is getting really sad.

Hanji smiled as she entered Jean's room. The teen had woken up yesterday but was still out of it physically. Today he was begging to be released just so he could move around. "Hey Jean!" Hanji greeted the teen with a wave and smile. Her shaking hand held onto the clipboard as she leaned against the foot of his bed.

"Hey Ms. Zoe." Jean greeted messing with his nails. In his sleep a nurse had cut and filed them. "Call me Hanji, sport." Hanji smiled smacking his foot playfully. "Ms-, Hanji, can you do that again?" Jean's voice quivered. "Uh, sure." Hanji smacked at the limb with the back of her hand. Her face pulled into an expression of worry. "I, I can't feel my legs." Jean whispered. His eyes widened to the point of saucers. "Now Jean I need you to calm down." Hanji said rushing to his side. Her hands were instantly on the teen's shoulders. 

"Hanji, I can't feel my legs." Tears sprung to his eyes as he desperately tried to move his legs. "Hanji!" Jean grabbed onto Hanji's sweater, his blunt nails digging into the fabric. "Shh, don't worry sugar plum, let's get the doctor in here." Hanji pressed the emergency button as she softly stroked Jean's hair. The bottom layer was averagely soft, the top however felt like heaven. 

Hanji gladly moved her hands through it to calm the teen. The action seemed to work well enough as the gross sobs calmed to sniffles. A doctor rushed in, his hair pushed back and glasses barely hanging on at the tip of his nose. "Yes? What seems to be the problem?" He questioned, out of breath. "I can't feel my legs." Jean spoke a bit hesitantly.

"Oh dear." The man rushed to Jean's side and pulled back the covers. Jean's legs were pale and thin from the extended period on liquid food only. "From what point can't you feel them?" The doctor asked slipping on some gloves. "My mid thigh." Jean answered, his voice shaking. "Alright." He mumbled and began to feel around the leg. His fingers dug into the muscle feeling for anything out of place. 

"Wait hold on." Jean sat deathly still. The doctor pulled away. "I feel them now, they're tingly and heavy though." Jean mumbled. The doctor let out a bark of laughter before smiling at the boy. "Your legs are fine, they've been asleep for so long you couldn't feel them at all." He explained. Hanji joined in on the laughter, Jean following seconds after.

"For I moment there I thought Yeager had broken me too bad." Jean smiled releasing his hold on Hanji's sweater. The two adults flinched at Jean's mention of Eren's last name. Jean usually gets worked up even at the mention of the other male's name. But surprisingly, Jean remained in his humorous state. "Alright sugar plum, how are you feeling? Emotionally wise?" Jean was always an upfront kind of person, telling all, straight forward. "Uh, really calm actually." Jean answered with a furrowed brow. 

"Why does that confuse you?" Hanji asked leaning on the bed frame. "Because I just thought that I lost my legs for good and I could say Yeager's name without wanting to bash something in." Jean stated with a questioning tone to his voice. "Alright Jean, you'll stay here for the next twelve hours for physical evaluation. After that you'll be able to visit the others." Hanji said standing straight and writing quickly on the clip board. 

Jean nodded, his hands twitching to do something. "I'll get a nurse to bring you some things late on, have a good day sugar sweet!" Hanji said exiting the room with a smile. Jean smiled at the woman as she raced down the hallway. 'Let's have a good day Marco.' Jean smiled to himself as he couldn't see Marco anywhere.

~

Eren laid passed out on Levi's bed. After a rather vigorous session with Erwin, Eren was ready to pass out. While on the way to his bed, Levi's was a lot closer, and Levi wasn't currently using it, so what's the harm? The harm is now the short raven haired male is stuck with a taller, heavier, and over all just bigger person laying in his bed. Now Levi could just sleep in Eren's bed, but no, that mattress had nearly ten different board games on it. And Levi, being the absolutely most graceful person in the world, didn't trust himself enough to move them all without waking Eren. So the raven haired teen just stood at the end of his bed staring at Eren as he slept. 

With a sudden burst of confidence, Levi climbed into bed. His small frame fit against Eren's chest easily. Eren instinctively wrapped an arm around Levi's waist, like he was holding a teddy bear, and pulled the smaller male closer. Levi yelped at the sudden movement, but quickly relaxed into the warmth Eren provided. Their legs intertwined and Levi wanted to just be closer. So he shuffled back, pressing not only his back but his behind into Eren. 

The brunet woke up slowly, his mind hazy but quickly becoming clear. Levi whined to himself as he pushing further into him. Eren responded by tightening his hold on the male, dropping his head into the crook of his neck, and moving his hips in sync with Levi's. Taking a deep breath of his scent he happily let Levi nestle into him. Until he realized that they were grinding on each other. 'Oh shit'

With a sudden realization, he pulled his head and hips back to look at the smaller male with wide eyes. Levi noticed the lack of warmth near his head and look back to see the brunet looking near terrified. Guilt washed over him. "I, uh, I'm sorry." He whispered, putting his hands in his lap. He noticed he had also become aroused. "Wait, why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong." Eren looked at him confused before noticing the small bulge in Levi's pajama pants. "Oh dear." Eren mumbled. 

A few moments passed. The tension in the air was physical. Levi could feel it try to strangle him. 'Why the hell did I do that. He probably thinks I'm stupid.' Levi felt his self esteem fall with each passing thought. Eren on the other hand was freaking out for Levi. 'Oh man, is Levi okay? I don't know what he's comfortable with. Should I ask? What if something sexual put him here. Then he would rather abstain from anything sexual, right? I have no idea.' Eren felt the weight of worrying start to crush him. 

Deciding that nothing was getting done just thinking, they both opened their mouths to speak. "Oh sorry." They said in accidental unison. The pair awkwardly laughed as the other waited for the other to speak. "You first." They said, once more in unison. "Eren." "Levi." They were both getting annoyed, Levi showing it more than Eren. "Levi." Eren said, Levi holding his tongue this time.

"Yes?" Levi replied nervously, the strain of his erection making critical thinking difficult. "Are you okay? Are you fine with what kinda happened?" Eren sounded so god damn worried for the smaller male, it almost made him want to cry. But of course he didn't. He simply nodded, his throat too clenched to comfortably speak. "You sure? Cause I can sleep in my own bed, sorry for taking over yours." Eren said nodding at his own bed, which was still covered in games. 

"No, it's fine." Levi's voice sounded way more strained than what either of them were prepared for. "So I can continue?" Eren asked leaning forward slowly. Levi nodded, meeting the teen part way. Their lips gently collided. Eren tasted the coffee cake still on Levi's lips. Levi tasted the minty toothpaste Eren had brushed with. They both felt the world bow at their feet as they opened up new doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ending notes will be at the end of the Christmas Special.  
> Thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated.


	25. Halloween Special- that is late as hella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween special! Which so late it's not even funny.

"What are these?" Armin, Levi, and Annie asked looking at the varying array of costumes. They looked old, the color in the fabric faded, but repaired by skilled and unskilled hands. "I felt that we needed to start celebrating Halloween!" Hanji said with increasing enthusiasm. "Y-You mean the holiday where traditionally people would wear costumes to repel ghosts and other evil spirits, as well as light bon fires?" Armin said with a growing smile. 

"Yeah, you got it buddy." Hanji spoke as gave Armin a pat on the back. "I was never allowed to participate in Halloween events. The church called it a devil's holiday." Armin bounced as he analyzed the costumes. Levi got on his knees and began to look through the many clothes. Annie seemed a little more hesitant. Her tanned hands shakily moving a wrestling mask out of the way. It reminded her of an opponent.

The blonde quickly found an Ice Queen costume and happily slipped the long gown over her uniform. The dress, although stiff, twirled as she spun. A small smile grew on her constant frowning lips. Armin giggled to himself as he found the perfect costume. He pulled the upper body of the muscle suit over his head and followed with the bottom. The other pieces of the costume were sewn on the muscle suit.

He looked down at himself and 'flexed'. "Hey Reiner! I almost have bigger muscles than you." Armin giggled. The large male looked over at the boy who dressed as his childhood hero. "You look a lot like him actually." Reiner laughed as Armin looked at him with the strangest look of admiration. The smaller teen scampered off to enjoy his costume. 

Levi on the complete other hand, could not find himself a costume he liked, and could fit his small stature. Eren had joined him in the searching for a costume. The brunet smiled to himself once he found dark blue scrubs and a stethoscope. He carefully slipped the extra layer of clothes over his uniform and slung the stethoscope over the back of his neck. He looked down at himself and smiled. "Hey Levi, look." Eren said holding up another nurse outfit, but this time it was obviously one of the sexual female ones. "Oh hell no." Levi snapped, ignoring the adorable pout Eren was sporting.

"Please, just try it on." Eren whined. He pulled a puppy face as he inched closer to Levi who was frantically searching for something to distract the brunet with. He turned to his right to see Eren right against him, his eyes were large and fake tears were on the brim of falling. "Pumpkin, sweetie pie, sugar plum, please?" Eren sounded so pitiful Levi couldn't stand it. "Fine." Levi snatched the outfit out of Eren's hands with a sigh. 

He slipped it over his clothes and felt awkward in the short dress, even if his legs were completely covered. "You look adorable." Eren smiled, any trace of the forced sadness gone. "Yeah, whatever." Levi puffed out his cheeks as he felt them get warm. 'Stupid Eren and his stupid puppy dog eyes.' He thought crossing his arms. 

There was a short second where Levi continued his thoughts till he was enveloped in warmth and plucked off the ground. He gripped onto Eren shoulders, short swear falling from his mouth till he realized what happened. "Eren, why did you pick me up?" Levi asked with a faint blush. "Because you're god damn adorable." Eren answered with no hesitation. "Shut up." Levi pecked Eren's cheek before getting his way out of Eren's arms, although he regretted losing the warmth, he was happy to see the dopey smile on Eren's face.

-

"Okie Dokie, we'll be decorating cookies for our Halloween activity!" The head chef, Ms. Homes, spoke with a smile. Her large figure shuffling through the the tables to set down the freshly cooled cookies. Eren and Levi sat next to Reiner, Ymir, and Historia. The group of five was soon joined by Bertolt.

"You can do any design you want, just try to keep it within the theme of Halloween. Don't eat all the decorations or the icing. If you just want to eat cookies then I, or one of the cooks, will bring you a plate. Decorate as many as your want as long as those at your table agree." Ms. Homes explained with a smile before leaving the group of patients to continue with the activity. Nurses, doctors, and a few guards still stood near the group in the dinning area though.

"So Yeager, what are you going to do?" Ymir asked smearing bright orange icing on her sugar cookie. "I'm thinking a vampire, what about you Levi?" The table directed their sight to see the small teen piping a shape onto the cookie with the background already placed. "Holy shit, he works quick." Ymir mumbled. Eren smiled fondly at the teen before getting started.

Historia smeared the same bright orange on her cookie before piping darker lines curving outwards on top. She carefully piped a brown stem at the top. She smiled at the well made pumpkin before her but it needed something that said 'Historia made this'. She mixed the pure white with a bit of tan to make a pearly color, she also mixed a varying color of light pink and pastel green. 

She piped vines wrapping around the pumpkin with thin off curls every so often. She then piped small pink dots followed by the pearly white. The pink and pearl mixed slightly creating a faded effect in the icing. The small flowers were adorable on the pumpkin. Historia smiled widely at her accomplishment before showing Ymir. The tanned female happily complimented her before giving the blonde a light kiss on the forehead.

Ymir on the other hand wasn't as delicate when it came to her cookie. After the bright orange, she tried to follow Historia's steps and make it a pumpkin, but sadly, with her shaky hands, the 'pumpkin' turn out more like a squash, that had been squashed. With a sigh she grabbed the red and started going to town. When she felt it was complete the squashed squash looked more like a caved in head than anything else, so Ymir ran with it. 

She added beady eyes, a jagged smile, and a poor excuse for a nose. She laughed at the expression her poor victim was making before realizing the violent behavior. She quickly erased her thoughts and filled them with her anchor, Historia. She smiled softly and continued to contently make several more cookies, one with increasingly less violence.

Reiner was having a blast making different stereotypical monsters. Zombie? Check. Werewolf? Done poorly, but check. Witch? Done ever worse than the werewolf, but it was done. He was just in a hurry to compare his vampire to Eren's. 

Bertolt calmly, and carefully, made a young boy. He mixed colors and piped them onto the cookie, narrowing his eyes and furrowing his brow in concentration. The tip of his tongue stuck out as he piped the final and most crucial detail. The lightening scar. He had been reading the Harry Potter series, one he had never even heard of, and he was obsessed with it. 

Bertolt sat up straight and looked down at the cookie. It was as good as it's gong to get. "Reiner." Berty mumbled lightly tapping the side of Reiner. The blonde turned and looked at the heavily detailed cookie. "Berty! My man, this is amazing!" Reiner smiled, giving the brunet a thumbs up and quick pat on the back. Bertolt blush but thanked the male.

Eren made a pleased noise once he finished the final out line of the cookie. He sat up straight and looked for any mistakes. Fortunately, he couldn't see any. With a smile on his face he showed the cookie to his lover. "Levi, look." Levi took his attention away from his own to see what Ere had accomplished. He expected something amazing, but what he got was much more than that. 

A vampire was in the center of the cookie, looking over his shoulder. Levi could see the subtle shading to bring out the vampire's cheekbones when he studied it close enough. The had had black hair styled in an undercut, and piercing soft blue eyes. Wait a moment. 

"Eren, do you model this after me?" Levi asked with a stoic expression but it quickly faded as the blush grew. "I mean, you do look like a vampire." Historia said from the other side of the table, watching the exchange go down. "Hey!" Levi turned to her, his voice slightly louder than it was before. Ymir clenched her jaw but merely wrapped her arm around Historia's waist. 

"You're pale as fuck bro, the black hair and grey eyes aren't helping you any." Ymir spoke next. "They're blue." Eren informed with a raised finger. "Of course you would know, Yeager. You spend so much time looking at them." Reiner laughed as he gave a few hefty pats to Eren's back. "Thanks buddy." Eren said coughing away his pain.

A few minutes passed and the group settled into a comfortable silence. The only sound was the asking for others to pass certain things and the mixing of icings. Levi hummed to himself as he finished off the detailing of the cookie. He smiled slightly before noticing Eren's gaze on him. No, not on him, but the piece of edible art before him. "Levi, is that?" Eren asked in a hushed whisper. "Yes it is." Levi replied looking at the cookie. "It's beautiful." Eren spoke softly. His eyes were shining. Levi sucked in a breath before looking somewhere else. Eren's face when he was in awe was too perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ending notes will at the end of the Christmas Special.  
> Thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated.


	26. Thanksgiving Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving Special. Our slightly broken child

Levi awoke to the sound of Eren getting ready. His footsteps, usually quiet, were loud and quick, like he was running back and forth. "Eren?" Levi asked sitting up. His sleeping habits, although still unhealthy, were getting better. "Yeah baby cakes?" Eren asked as his toothbrush hung out of his mouth. "Why are you buzzing about?" Levi questioned rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the balls of his wrists. "It's thanksgiving Levi. Have you not been keeping track? It's the wonderful day of food!" Eren laughed as he spun around. "You dork." Levi giggled getting up. 

He left Eren to dance around in their shared room to take a shower, in their also shared bathroom. They had gotten into a well flowing system so nothing awkward happened during their first week. Levi was usually the first to bed, first to rise but on some days Eren would suddenly be up before him. Levi rolled his eyes as he heard Eren's yelp and the thud as he hit the ground. An 'I'm okay' followed a few seconds after. Levi let a smile slip before starting the shower. He slipped off his over sized pajama shirt, shorts and his underwear before entering the warm water.

He quickly washed the night's dirt and filth away from his body before washing his hair and face. Once his body smelt like strawberry, he exited the shower. He pat dried himself with the hanging white towel before wrapping the towel around his upper waist. He left the bathroom and got dressed. Eren was no where to be seen, most likely meeting up with someone or getting to breakfast first. Levi slipped the soft cotton pajama like pants on after his underwear. He wished he could wear something other than pajamas all the time. He shrugged the long sleeve shirt on and finally grabbing one of the facility provided hoodies, it was Eren's obviously.

The ravenette left the room and headed to the main room, not expecting what was coming. Once he stepped it the walls had turkey decals on them. Words such as 'What are you thankful for?', 'Happy Thanksgiving', and the most important 'Gobble Gobble'. Levi continued to look at the different decorations. Strings ran from different wall panels with construction paper foods on them. The pillows were replaced with brown, red, orange, and yellow pillows. The blankets now checkered the same colors, some having large turkeys on them. Levi smiled at the amount of effort put into the decor. He had a feeling that Hanji was the driving force behind it. 

He quickly found Eren standing in line for breakfast. He joined him, Eren being the last made that no problem. "Hey Levi." Eren smiled grabbing two trays, one for each of them. Levi greeted and thanked him. "I wonder what they'll have for Thanksgiving breakfast?" Levi mumbled before seeing the different meals provided. Pumpkin cinnamon rolls with vanilla frosting, almond pancakes with bananas and syrup, egg, bacon, and spinach stuffed bell peppers, and finally omelettes. And another drink was added to the mix, pumpkin spice lattes. 

Levi grabbed the almond pancakes and pumpkin spice latte. Eren grabbed the stuffed peppers and apple juice. The pair then sat at the table with Ymir and Reiner.

"Hey Yeager, Shorty. How's it going?" Ymir smirked at them. "We're doing pretty good, how's your unquenchable thirst for the lady booty going?" Eren replied picking up a pepper and somehow managing to take a bite without making a mess. "Nearly at the finish line. Seems like your thirst for the man booty has ended with good results." Ymir replied taking a large bite of her cinnamon roll. 

"Yes very. How about you Reiner. How's your thirst for the booty going?" Eren asked turning to the laughing teen. "Oh me? Yeah I don't have anyone in mind like that." Reiner wiped the evidence from his laughter away. "Really? I thought tree guy and you were gay as fuck for each other." Levi said with a raised brow. Ymir and Eren both snorted their hands flying up to prevent foods from escaping their mouths. "Levi?!" Eren squawked with wide eyes. 

"Oh, uh, um, I plead the fifth." Reiner says with light blush. Ymir and Eren chuckled at the cute display. The big tough guy Reiner was really a big softy when it came to love. "Hello Ymir, Eren, Levi, Reiner." Historia smiled sweetly as she sat down with her meal in hand. Levi felt his anxiety grow as Historia joined the party. A warm hand encased his own. He looked up to see Eren smiling at him. "Don't worry, of those here they're the most kind. Ymir just has a crude sense of humor." Eren said softly. Levi nodded back and turned to look at the group. He focused on the conversation as he ate his breakfast.

-

After breakfast everyone had gone back into the main room. Eren and Levi were once again in the art section with Historia and Ymir. Reiner was in a session and the others were around the room. Sasha's begs for food were a background noise as the four of them spoke to each other. Ymir and Eren spoke about art . Historia and Levi spoke about history. A strange thing they had in common. 

"Honestly, I think Batman isn't as cool as he thinks he is." Ymir said as she began to draw. Their conversation had switched to comics and superheros. Something that Eren had spent his little free time as a child obsessing over. "He's pretty cool. Sure he doesn't have superpowers but he's cool in his own sense of justice." Eren replied tweaking the facial expression of the woman he was drawing. "But he's literally just a billionaire who dresses up and fights a mentally unstable clown. What's cool about that?" Ymir shot back. "What's cool about a teenager who shoots a white wet sticky rope out of himself and leaves it all over the city of New York?" Eren snapped. 

"Oh you did not just attack Spiderman!" Ymir spoke with a deathly chill. Her glare sharp and threatening. "Yeah, Batman is a cool ass billionaire who takes on a master mind villain along with others while Spiderman is just a teen who get bit by a bug." Eren said dropping his pencil to rapidly stand up, Ymir following him. 

"Ymir, sit down." "Eren, sit down." Historia and Levi ordered at the same time. "Fine. But they started it!" Ymir and Eren spoke in unison pointing their fingers at the other. "We don't care." The two smaller teen spoke in unison again, their expression similar as well. The two taller teen sat back down and sat still, in fear of annoying the two they love.

-

The day passed by rather quickly. Eren spent time with Levi. The two switching between the reading section and art. Ymir and Historia usually joining them as well. But now it was finally time for Thanksgiving dinner. The staff had moved the tables to be in a long formation. A table runner was placed down the middle and small vases with beautiful flowers of varying reds and oranges were placed every so often. 

Everyone sat down either next to or in front of their best friend or partner. Levi sat next to Eren who spoke with him about the large family gatherings he used to have with his family, then he spoke about how every year they would share what they're thankful for here. Eren warned him to prepare it now so the whole thing would go smoothly. Levi decided to say Eren, but he was more than thankful of what the brunet had done for him.

The plates were brought out and set before everyone. Portioned plates of mashed potatoes, diced turkey, buttery corn, green beans, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, and rolls were hot and ready to be eaten. But the staff said they had to say what they were thankful of before they could eat."I'm thankful of this place for keeping me from hurting my family." Reiner said. "I'm t-thankful for, uh, Ms. Hanji w-whose helped me a lot." Bertolt stuttered. 

"I'm blessed to have a group of wonderful friends who understand what pain is." Historia smiled. "For my precious angel Historia." Ymir smirked at the blush Historia showed. "For the chance to care for others and not be a threat to the public." Connie spoke quietly, his voice much too low for his personality. "For the control I've gained over the course of this year, and my sugar babe Connie." Sasha smiled brightly. 

"For Marco's memory." Jean said. "For the memory of a loved one." Annie spoke cryptically. "For the memory of my grandfather, for knowledge of these books, and chance to survive this world." Armin smiled. "I'm thankful for Levi and the chance to be normal again." Eren said squeezing Levi's hand under the table. "I'm thankful for E-Eren, Hanji and Erwin." Levi spoke quietly but loud enough for everyone to hear. "Alright, let's eat!" The main chef smiled as clapped her hands together. The group of eleven patients dug into their meals. Giving compliments every so often.

For the whole meal Eren and Levi held hands under the table. They were thankful for each other. And nothing would pull them apart.


	27. Christmas Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas, meaning paper snow flakes made with awful safety scissors, terribly annoying carols, and of course holiday spirit!

"Merry Christmas?" Levi read the banner hanging on the wall in the main room. Red and green tinsel hung around the doors, windows, and in various spots on the walls. The dark blankets were replaced with festive colored and themed ones. Their clothes had also been swapped for ugly Christmas sweaters. Levi wasn't sure how to feel about this holiday.

"Come on Levi, let's make snowflakes." Eren flashed Levi a smile as he pulled the shorter male over to the arts and crafts area. Reiner, Ymir and Historia sat there already. Historia happily coloring in a 'Frozen' coloring book. Ymir surprisingly doing really well in free hand painting. And Reiner was snipping away at a folded piece of paper. Eren sat down, Levi following merely seconds after. Eren grabbed two pairs of 'safety' scissors and handed one pair to Levi. 

The music in the background was turned up. The few patients in the main room could hear the Christmas carols. "God damn it, they're going to fucking play these for the next month." Ymir growled. Her voice annoyed at the sound of the well known carol. "Calm down Ymir, your snowman is looking great." Historia smiled up at the female, her dimples melting away the anger Ymir had. "Thanks, angel." Ymir calmly went back to painting. 

The table sat in silence besides the humming of Eren as he cut precise holes in the white sheet of paper. Levi, on the other hand, was having a bit more difficulty making a good cut. Eren was easily cutting out moose shapes and the large letters of 'Merry Christmas'. "These scissors are shitty. God damn it." He muttered trying, and failing, to make a snowflake.

Eren's laughter snatched Levi's attention. "Here, hold them like this. You were putting the pressure in the wrong direction, now it'll focus on the blades going down and not apart." Levi kept his head down in embarrassment. "Don't worry shorty, the first month I was here I had held the coloring pencils wrong so I tore the paper every ten seconds, Eren showed me how to hold it correctly and how to hold it for different techniques." Ymir told the blushing raven with a smirk. Her fist leaving the paper to give Eren a fist bump. "Yeah, Eren's really good at a lot of stuff now that I think about it." Historia said scrunching her face up in concentration. Ymir blushed at the cute expression, she then turned away to whisper 'my heart' to herself.

Now it was Eren's turn to be embarrassed. "Hold on there guys, I'm just a slightly not average kind of guy." Eren's tanned cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink. His hand rubbing the back of his neck as well. "Just own up to it Yeager, you're an amazing guy!" Reiner said loudly, his left hand giving the brunet a hard pat on the back. "T-Thanks Reiner." Eren stuttered slightly. The pain in his back was distracting. "No problem Yeager." Reiner gave the teen a bright smile before going back to his own snowflake. It looked like Levi's before Eren showed him how to properly hold the sad excuse for scissors. A mess of paper with holes that were sure to catch on anything, even the god forbidden air.

A faint smile formed on Levi's lips as he soon produced a somewhat pretty paper snowflake. "Eren, look." Levi held up the snowflake with a smile and a sparkle in his eye. Eren turned to look at the snowflake. A dark red blush staining his cheeks and even reaching his ears. "Do you like it?" Levi asked looking at the name, 'Eren' cut into it. "It's adorable. Levi you're so great." Eren smiled brightly as he looked at the snowflake. 

"Now I have to make one for you!" Eren said suddenly, his back straightening and finger held straight in the air. Levi flinch at the sudden movement before speaking. "No, you don't have to-" "Levi, I gotta." Eren quickly folded a piece of paper and got to work with the scissors. Levi watched in slight awe as Eren formed a snowflake within seconds. "Don't look yet." Eren mumbled turning his body to hide the piece. Levi pouted but got ready to make another.

Thirty snowflakes, three paintings, nine coloring books, and one 'extra' special snowflake later, the five of them sat back to just talk and listen to the Christmas carols that still played through the large room. "Eren, come on. Let me see the thing!" Levi said trying to grab the piece of paper that Eren held above him. "No, it's stupidly bad." Eren replied moving out of the way of Levi's hand. 

Levi got out of his seat to reach over him. Reiner chuckled and snatched it out of Eren's hand easily. "Hey!" Eren turned to look at the blonde with a false look of betrayal. "Reiner." Eren whined trying to grab it from the taller teen. "Sucks to suck, Yeager." Reiner laughed before handing it to Levi who happily thanked the other teen. 

Levi gently opened the folded paper. Careful of the delicately cut pieces. His eyes widened at the beauty of it. "Eren." Levi turned to look at the embarrassed teen. "I know, it's stupid." Eren looked at the ground as his blush grew. "I love it." Levi looked back at the snowflake, reading the message cut into it again and again. 'Levi' with 'I love you' beneath it. Around that was a ring cut in a way to keep the page together but give the sense of separation. Then was a sea of geometric shapes then finally a ring of lace like cuts. It was beautiful. Flawless even. 

"How in the fucking hell, did you cut this with bullshit safety scissors?" Levi asked turning to Eren with an expression of confusion with a hint of amazement. "Witchcraft." Reiner answered. Ymir and Historia looking at the snowflake then back and forth between Eren and Levi. Historia gaining a look of happiness and Ymir a look of disgust then a faint look of joy. The two really were great together.

~

Breakfast was soon called. The usual friday breakfast choices were replaced with something a little more 'jolly', as Hanji would put it. Red velvet pancakes with white cream and raspberries, or pancakes, bacon, strawberries, banana and chocolate all in the combined shape of a reindeer, and snowman shaped pancakes with bacon scarves and blueberry faces and buttons. The normal juice drinks were switched with peppermint hot chocolate, eggnog, milk, and strawberry smoothies with mint. Levi was happy to have the snowman pancakes with the peppermint hot chocolate.

Levi sat with Eren who also sat with Ymir, Reiner, and Historia. The group of five spoke about random things. Historia asking about general things like favorite colors, movies, music, etc. Levi was shy at first but opened up quickly. Eren smiled at Levi whenever the small teen answered something. It made him happy that Levi could open up to people.

"So Levi, what's your past with Christmas?" Ymir asked shoveling a pancake into her mouth. Levi winced at the memory. "My, uh, 'family', didn't really celebrate Christmas. He thought it was stupid. But I shared gifts with my sister." Levi said faintly smiling at the thought of his sister. 

"What was she like?" Historia asked popping a raspberry into her mouth. "Happy, hyper, a great artist, and constantly on the move. Isabel was just barely shorter than me, had red hair with two pigtails, she could never pull a comb through that mess, and bright green eyes." Levi's smile grew as he described his little sister. 

"How old is she?" Eren asked, he had never heard about Isabel. "She's fourteen." Levi answered. "Wait, if she has green eyes and red hair, why do you have black hair and whatever the hell color your eyes are?" Ymir asked narrowing her eyes. "She was adopted. Well, more like taken off the street. She was only seven when I found her. She's been my sister ever since." Levi smiled thinking back to the freezing cold autumn morning he found Isabel sleeping on his back porch. 

"Aw, that's cute." Historia smiled. "What about you? What was Christmas like for all of you?" Levi asked sipping on his warm drink. "My whole family would come over to visit. Expensive gifts were given. Lots of them got drunk. A few fights would happen. By the end of it, I had already snuck out." Historia said, her tone light. 

"My mom would give me a video game. My brother usually never gave me anything. That's if it went well, which never really happened. It more than often ended with bloody knuckles and broken noses and jaws." Ymir chuckled at the memories of getting into fist fights with her brother. "Holy shit." Levi whispered imagining Ymir kicking ass. "Yeah, it was awesome but I would always regret it after. After I nearly killed a guy while robbing a place I was sent here. Reiner, what's up with you?" Ymir asked turning to the male. 

"Oh, my family was all over that. We had our place decked out in decorations. I would help out of course, my dad with also complain about the lack of cookies even if we had six dozen in a jar. It was really enjoyable. It was nearly the only time of the year that I wasn't on the verge of yelling at someone." Reiner sipped his milk finishing his story. "Eren?" Reiner raised an eyebrow at the brunet. 

"We had the usual decorations that me and him put up. I helped my mother bake things for the large dinner we always had with the other important families of the neighborhood. And I played piano for the Christmas parties my mother would throw." Eren's fingers twitched, he wanted to play the piano right now. it was one of the few instruments he wanted to learn in the first place, on his own. 

"That's cool. Say, after group will you play some carols on the piano? The good ones?" Ymir asked finishing off her breakfast. "Sure." Eren smiled. Levi leaned into Eren who instinctively wrapped an arm around the smaller male. They were happy. Maybe it was the holiday spirit, or maybe they were actually getting better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few of you might me wondering why I had disappeared for so long, almost two months I believe. Writers block for one, and I'm working on nearly fifteen other fics. 
> 
> I know it's selfish to think I can just hold back on you guys for so long then ask for forgiveness, but I really hope you guys don't mind the fluctuating posting schedule. I'm trying to manage my time better so I can get back to the quick posting schedule I had before but that was before school had started. 
> 
> Since the first semester is over, and my exams are over, the chapters should be posted more often. Once again, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry that I took so long and posted the holiday specials weeks late. But I seriously need your ideas. I did not plan this far into this story and it's starting to bite me in the ass.


	28. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi start to get steamy, things go wrong, oh so gosh darn wrong.

Eren's lips slowly met Levi's is a slow dance. The two too shy or too frightened to go any further. Eren decided to test the waters. His hand lightly pressed against Levi's chest, the raven falling back onto the bed. His wide surprised eyes amused Eren, a chuckle rising out of his throat. Eren crawled over the smaller male slowly, still waiting for any reaction. 

Levi's breathing quickened. He didn't like this. He hated the feeling of being trapped. But he knew he was powerless against Eren. Their difference in strength was laughable. So instead of asking for the brunet to get off of him, and possibly angering him, he shut his eyes and played the part of a happy partner. 

Eren leaned back to look at Levi, his bright turquoise eyes widened when Levi's face contorted into an expression of strained fear. "Levi?" Eren whispered. The other male didn't respond. "Levi? Are you okay?" Eren softly cradled Levi's face in one hand. The cool pale skin of Levi was ice cold compared to Eren's warm and tanned hand. Levi flinched away from the hand, his brows drew closer together and a whimper of fear escaped his lips.

"Levi, speak to me." Eren held Levi's tense body in his arms trying to get a response from the younger male. Not knowing what to do, Eren held Levi in his arms till the other calmed down and could respond verbally. The guilt weighed him down as he watch Levi pull the dark blanket against his form, a shiver running through his body.

"Levi?" Eren softly asked, like if he spoke too loud Levi would shatter. "I guess I have to tell you why I'm here, don't I?" Levi let out a dry chuckle as he folded in on himself. He winced as the image of Kenny raced through his mind. "If you don't want to, it's okay. I don't want to force you into anything." Eren said worried, his hand set firmly on Levi's leg. The move usually calming the raven, but it broke a damn. 

His teeth ground into each other, his grip on the blanket tight, his knuckles turning white, breathing out of control, and violent tremors running through his body. "E-Eren." Levi whimpered to himself as he tried to sort his thoughts. They were overrun with the memories, the pain, and most of all Kenny. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't open his mouth anymore, the air wasn't going into his lungs, he couldn't feel anything besides the growing pain in his head.

Eren put his hand in Levi's mouth to keep the boy from ruining his teeth. The pearly whites dug into the teen's hand, the coppery taste of blood filled Levi mouth. As it flowed down his throat he began coughing. Levi ripped Eren's hand out of his mouth to lean over the side of the bed to cough out the poisonous liquid. "Levi?" Eren whispered, not wanting to cause anymore harm to Levi. The tidal wave of guilt was washing over him. He caused the attack, he caused Levi to cough till his lungs burned, he caused Levi pain, and Levi would hate him.

"I'm sorry." Eren's voice was weak, nearly nonexistent. But the deafening silence let even the smallest of sounds take the center stage. Levi spit out the last of the blood, wiping the excess off his chin with his wrist. "It's fine. I should've warned you about this." Levi said in the same hushed silent whisper. Eren sat criss-cross with his hands in his lap. Levi moved to sit the same way, only across from Eren. "I, uh. How do I start this?" Levi mumbled, his eyes darting back and forth. "Um, when I was baby, my mom sold me for drugs." Levi started, his voice shaky. 

"I grew up with my uncle and my sister, Isabel. N-Now, my uncle is a piece of shit, to put it lightly. He would get drunk, yell at shit, beat us, I never saw it, but I know he did things to Isabel. I apologized for bringing her into that damned house every single night. But, uh, one day after school, I had just got home." Levi paused to take a deep breath, his voice stuttering every few words. "Can I hold your hands?" Eren asked in a soft voice, Levi nodded placing his clammy hands in Eren's. The warmth Eren had calmed Levi. With a new confidence, Levi continued.

"When I got home he was in the shit main room the he liked to call the living room. He was piss poor drunk, like always. He h-had shouted at me, I don't really remember the beginnings of it. But uh, I was knocked the ground and tied to the safety bar shit in front of the fire place, you know?" Levi's finger nails dug into Eren's palms but the older boy didn't mention it. He squeezed his hands in response to Levi question. "From there he, he. He-" Levi couldn't speak, tears flooded from his eyes. His throat clenched and lungs hiccuping. Eren, in pair of watching Levi suffer, pulled the boy into his arms. His own few tears soaking into Levi's collar.

Levi, however, was out right sobbing. Snot, tears, and saliva were spread against Eren's shirt as Levi lot his pent up emotions. "He r-raped me." Levi forced out. The weight of the words sinking into both of them. Levi's hands clenched down on Eren's shirt, silently begging him to not leave him. Eren tightened his own hold on Levi. Not believing Levi could've been hurt so bad. "He ruined me." Levi whimpered digging his face in Eren's shirt. "Do he didn't." Eren answered back, his voice unusually calm and smooth for the amount of tears running down his face. "You're still a wonderful person, Levi. You aren't ruined." He whispered against Levi's shoulder. "You're still perfect." "But I'm not! I'm used trash!" Levi ripped himself from Eren's comforting arms, not believing anyone could still think he's their world after the horrors he's gone through.

"No, you're a survivor, one who's survived one of the worst things that could to a person." Eren said extending his arms out for Levi again. "But it's my fault-" "Don't you ever say that again, Levi. Because it wasn't. It will never be your fault. It's that bastard's fault." Eren said sternly, Levi flinched at the tone but the words sunk in. He had been fighting the demons in his head for a while. Listening to them as they shouted about his lack of worth. How much better Eren would be without him. How he secretly asked for Kenny to destroy him. But Eren could always silence them, kill some of the voices even, with just a few words, or sometimes just a glance. Levi let out a few more tears, the last of them for the night, and crawled back into Eren's arms. The fluids from his emotional breakdown were still there, making it sticky, slimy, and over all disgusting. 

"Change your shirt, then we can cuddle." Levi said pointing to the mess of the front. Eren at Levi's response. He gladly changed, putting on one of the left over christmas sweaters, a soft one for the side of Levi's face, and laid back down. Levi laid next to Eren, wrapped his arms around him and snuggled into the soft fabric which held onto Eren's scent. His legs entangled with Eren's before the pair drifted into a calming sleep. It was the calm after the storm and the break before another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those who have commented in the past four days, I really love reading all of the comments.
> 
> Thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated, have a nice day ❤


	29. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Warning, a little violence in this chapter, just a warning but if you can't handle the stuff in this chapter I have no idea how you handled the previous ones. Also a little feels I think.

"Historia?" Ms. Aberline spoke softly as she entered the girls room. Ymir had already left for the main room. "Yes, ma'am?" Historia replied with a smile as she approached the woman while drying her hair. "I have some wonderful news." Ms. Aberline smiled widely as she held the young girl's hand. "Wha?" Historia looked up at the woman's eyes. She couldn't think of anything that would make her therapist as happy as she is now. "You're being released!" Ms. Aberline dropped the bomb. Historia could only smile.

-

Ymir hummed to herself as she ate her apple slices. The sweet fruit went down nicely as she thought what she would do today. She had been stuck in an art rut. She couldn't draw, paint, or even sketch. She sneered at the thought of just doing nothing. With her fruit now completely gone she tossed her trash in the bin before heading back into the main room. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Historia entering the room. The taller female felt a smile growing on her lips as the blonde skipped over to her with one of the largest smiles she's ever seen on the girl. "Ymir!" Historia squealed. The others in the room looked over at the pair, interested in what got the young female so ecstatic. "Yeah, sugar?" Ymir smiled softly as Historia wrapped her small arms tightly around her waist. "I'm being released!" The following silence was deafening. You could hear the hitch in Ymir's breath when the information finally sunk in.

"Y-you mean you're...leaving me?" Ymir spoke with an expression of void. "Uh, yeah. Isn't great? I can finally move on with my life." Historia didn't realize what her words meant to the tanned teenager. Ymir's hands tightened around Historia's upper torso. Her eyes widened as the grip became painful. "Y-Ymir, you're hurting me." Historia said in a whisper at first, not wanting to alert the guards standing at different points in the room. 

But her words had no effect on Ymir. She simply hunched over, her forehead resting on Historia's shoulder. "Please don't leave me." She whispered before Historia let out a squeak of pain. The guards raced towards her, ready to take the female away. A few shouted orders at a nearby nurse, but they all approached Ymir.

The other patients sunk into their seats, except for Reiner and Eren. The two had grown to love the two females like family. A guard spring forward, trying to get Ymir away from Historia first. But his chest met Ymir's foot. With the breath knocked out of him, he sank to the floor to try and reclaim it. 

The other guards went forward. Ymir knocked a few of them away before they could land a blow on her. Her right eye was sealed shut after one of them hit her over the head with a baton. She knew two of her left ribs had to be bruises or even broken, but she didn't, couldn't leave Historia. She needed her.

A man on the ground gripped a fallen baton and swung at the back of her knees. Ymir sank to the floor, a howl of pain following at she collided on her left side. Blood flowed from her head and pooled around her. Historia fell to her knees, the thud of her weight landing on her knees didn't seem to bother her as she lightly brushed hair out of Ymir's face. She could barely open her left eye to look at the blonde. Blood dripping right by it. 

"Ymir?" Historia whispered wiping away the blond with her dainty thumbs. "Yeah, princess?" Ymir answered back with a gravely tone to her voice. "I'm sorry." Ymir was yanked out of Historia's arms by a medic. Two other nurses helped by strapping her head to the stretcher for transport. Historia kneeled on the floor with tears falling from her face. She couldn't stop the sobs from raking through her. 

Eren hesitantly approached the female, whispering calming words to the female. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and let the female fall into his arms. Reiner followed, his larger arms wrapping around both of them. "She'll be fine." Eren whispered before Hanji ran into the room.

She took the girl from the two boys, thanking them. Hanji wrapped her arms loosely around the girls shoulders but tightly enough to lead her out of the main room and back to her own. "You'll be fine, darling. Ymir we'll be back in no time." Hanji said tucking the girl in and giving her a light kiss on the forehead. 

"Ms. Hanji, could you stay here. Just till I fall asleep?" Historia whispered, her small hands gripping the covers tightly, her knuckles turning white. "Of course." Hanji sat next to the girl, Historia's arms wrapping around the woman's lower waist. Hanji moved her fingers through Historia's soft blonde hair. 

Although the young girl had just recently woken up, the events in the past two hours had completely sucked the energy out of her. She drifted into a restless sleep, she wouldn't, couldn't, feel complete without Ymir. Hanji began thinking of those who bonded closely to the others. Those pairs or trios would have to be released together. To keep them all sane.

-

Eren and Levi sat in the reading section. The younger male was reading while Eren held onto him from behind. The brunet had gotten more than protective of the smaller male after waking up that morning. After the Historia and Ymir event only an hour ago, Eren was even more reluctant to let Levi go. But Levi was completely fine with the attachment problems Eren was having. Who was he to be mad at the amount of attention he was getting. 

The day passed slowly. The group of patients thinking about the possibility of losing their friends. The each had someone that kept them grounded, Annie had started getting along with Bertolt, Reiner and Berty were always close, Historia and Ymir were becoming friends with Eren, Levi, and Reiner. It's a large chain of close knit friends. If one went, they all went.

-

Levi blindly grabbed a book from the pile next to him. Eren was sick the raven leaving the room every half hour to get a book, so he brought a stack of them. The brunet held onto Levi's waist from behind, the raven leaning back against his chest. "Levi, I think we should talk." Eren spoke softly, his chin resting on Levi's shoulder. "What about?" Levi replied turning the page.

"If one of us is released before the other, what are we going to do?" Eren asked adjusting his hold. "...I," Levi sighed, "I don't know." The raven placed a bookmark within the book and set it down. Leaning further into Eren, he rested his hands on top of Eren's and closed his eyes.

What would he do? He had no family besides Isabel, and she wasn't even legally family. He would surely be put in a government run home for at risk teens. Eren on the other hand was a legal adult, when he's released he would be on his own. The growing anxiety within Levi caused him to start shaking. He couldn't stand the time he was separated from Eren at the beginning of his stay. How was he going to stay sane while they were separated after their release?

"It's okay, you're already much better than me. I'll start working harder. I'll get better and then when we're released it'll be at the same time. And then we can live happily ever after." Eren's monotone voice gave away he was crushed under the weight of his emotions. After finding out about Levi's past, he felt the need to protect Levi from everything. He knew after a while Levi would want some of his freedom back, but for now he was thankful that the younger teen let him be as clingy as he needed.

Levi on the other hand was crying. All the possibilities of losing Eren were running through his head. By this time he knew Eren would hopefully never purposefully leave him, but the chance one of them being released early was growing as they became more and more stable. Levi knew the chance that Eren would find someone better than him in the outside world was large. Eren was perfect, kind, intelligent, handsome, and had many talents. 

"Just please don't leave me." Eren whimpered digging his face into the junction of Levi's neck and shoulder. Those five words silenced the rapid shouting voice in his head to a numb quiet. Levi turned over so he was laying on Eren's firm chest. Although the tears still slipped out, the pair fell asleep in each others arms, thinking about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is probably going to wrap up in a few more, maybe five or ten, chapters. Do y'all want a sequel? Comment if you do, I'd be glad to do so but it would be put on the back burner for a few weeks since I'm working on a few other fics. Depends mostly on how much y'all want it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, feedback is my lifeblood, have a wonderful day ❤


	30. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *warning, there is some bad shit going down down in this chapter, if you are triggered easily please do not read the first half of it.
> 
> Ymikuri drama and a little fluff at the end.

Historia woke up only minutes after Hanji left. Her blue eyes glazed over. Despite the extra sleep her body felt like a thousand stones were weighing her down. All she could think about was how pathetic Ymir sounded when she whispered for Historia to not leave her. It made her insides twist and turn with anxiety. She couldn't stand to hear Ymir like that. How strong the female was usually kept her grounded. It kept Historia on the right track, looking to her side and seeing Ymir standing tall and proud. Historia knew she could always depend on her. Now knowing that Ymir was a wreck because on her, it ripped all sense of security from her. Without Ymir, she resorted back to her old ways of dealing with stress.

Historia shambled into the bathroom. Her pale hands clammy with sweat as they supported her. With a few forced steps she leaned against the counter. Her reflecting staring back like a haunting photo. Her usually bright blue eyes were dim and murky. Dark circles were forming under them, sucking the remaining color from the orbs. Her skin looked deathly pale. Her lips, normally soft and a pale pink, were dry and cracked, white flakes of dried dead skin forming. With a forced back hiss, she licked them. The cracks widened, blood seeping out. 

Historia glared at her reflection, hating it. It showed how messed up she really was. No amount of therapy or 'good vibes', like Hanji ranted about once, could fix her. All she did was hurt her loved ones. With a shaky breath she approached Ymir's side of the room. A weeks worth of medicine hidden under her mattress. During the first few weeks Ymir was at the institution, she didn't take her morning pills, she would hide them. 

She always said that she was perfectly fine and didn't need anything like that. Historia thought she was an idiot at the time for refusing medication, but now she was thankful. She grabbed each and every single pill. The small white, blue and red pills would go down easily enough with a glass of water, she thought. Placing each in her mouth, she drank from a cup. The twenty-one pills went down. She ran the bath, the water rising quickly as she got in. The warm water was soothing as it soaked her clothes. 

Her movements were sluggish. Her body was too slow for her liking, but she was glad that the pills were working quickly. She leaned back against the back of the tub, her nose just barely over the water. Her dim blue eyes fluttered shut and her body sunk into the water. With her body in a drug induced coma, she slipped under the water, feeling nothing.

-

Hanji shot up from her short nap at her desk. The loud rushed foot steps from outside her office waking her. Quickly joining the group of people, she ran with them. Despite the worry of her condition, she raced into Historia's room. Her heart racing with worry. Nurses were shouting orders at others, forcing their way into the bathroom. Hanji heard the rush of water. Her stomach dropped. "No! Is she alright?" Hanji's loud voice drowned out the others. The male nurse placed the small girl on the floor. Hanji breaking through the wall of nurses to start chest compressions. "Why didn't anyone stay with her!" Her roar of a voice silencing the nurses. 

"We didn't think she was that dependent on patient Ymir." A nurse answered. "You idiots. It's a web, they all depend on the others!" Hanji cut off her speech to give mouth to mouth. 'Let's hope to god that she hasn't been under too long.' Hanji's mind raced as she repeated CPR. 'Chest, mouth, chest, chest, mouth.' She repeated like a mantra. She leaned down to give another breath of air into Historia's lungs when the young teen coughed up water. Despite it splashing on Hanji's face, she smiled through the salty tears that now poured down her face. "Hey baby girl." She said with a motherly tone and a more than relieved smile. Historia looked down in shame. "I'm sorry." Her small voice quiet and on the verge of sobbing. "Don't be, we all make mistakes." Hanji held the girl in her arms as the nurses retrieved dry clothes and a towel.

The blonde was stripped of her wet clothes, pat dried, and dressed in new clothes. Historia shivered even with a blanket thrown over her frame. "I'm sorry." Historia sobbed, the balls of her wrists pressed against her eyes as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I didn't want to hurt you, I just didn't want to leave Ymir." Historia's lungs shook within her chest, denying the girl of a full breath. "It's alright princess, we'll get Ymir for you." Hanji rocked the sobbing girl, trying to calm her, as she gave silent orders to those around her.

Ymir was brought in, her arms bound with soft cuffs. "Historia!" Ymir rushed forward, Hanji darting out of the way. She crouched in front of her. The tanned female's tears blurring her vision as she gripped Historia's pants. "Why? Why did you do it?" She sobbed on her lap. Historia gently held Ymir's head. "What did I do? Was it when I snapped in the main room? Do you not love me anymore?" Ymir was calmly hushed by Historia. The blonde smiling softly at the teen in front of her. Hanji shuffled nurses out, feeling they were interfering on a crucial moment. 

"When I first met you, I thought you were an idiot." Historia's soft voice calmed the raking sobs from Ymir, weakening them to small hiccups. "Really?" Ymir chuckled as she wiped her tears. "I thought you were the most beautiful person I ever saw. Guess we really are different." Ymir let out a huff settling into a more comfortable position in Historia's lap. 

"Guess so. But as I got to know you, I thought you were amazing. The way you stood up for yourself. How you could stand with such confidence. It made me jealous. So I just stuck to your side, hoping that some of it would rub off on me. I just became attached to how you would say the sappiest things, or how you grind your teeth when the group leader would ask a question directed at you, or even how deep you got involved in your art. I love you." Historia kept a calm voice, hiding the way her throat wanted to close up.

"I never knew you liked me so much." Ymir laughed slightly, a light blush dusting her cheeks. "Yeah, I like to think about what we would do if we were released. You know, like how we would hold hands when walking down the street. Or who would pick what movie we would watch. Sometimes how we'd react to buying our first house together. I know they're all stupid, but I enjoyed thinking about them. It was easy to think about the positives instead of the negatives when you were around. But when I woke up today, all I could think about was how I made you mad. How I had messed up. How I was garbage. I didn't want to leave you. I was caught up in my thoughts about the future when I spoke to you. I'm sorry." After Historia's speech, Ymir remained quiet. Not even her hiccups breaking the thick silence.

"Just please don't leave me?" Ymir whimpered clutching the back of Historia's lower back. The blonde leaned further down to cradle Ymir's head in her arms. "I'd never leave you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. Feedback is what keeps me going, so please any comments are appreciated. Have a wonderful day/night ❤


	31. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji talks with the gal pals, Erwin and Eren have some one-on-one time. Also, Erwin makes a joke that I'm really proud of so there's that.

Historia's stomach was pumped after she confessed to swallowing pills. Ymir was within ten feet of her at all times, Hanji even had one of the nurses bring them each a tray of food so they wouldn't have to separate.

"So how are my two princesses doing?" 

Hanji smiled brightly, throwing open the doors. In both of her hands and on her forearms, balanced four trays of food, one with cups and a pitcher of lemonade.

"Pretty good."

"Better." 

"That's what I like to hear. Here's breakfast."

Hanji grinned. She set one tray on Historia's blanketed lap and gave the other to Ymir. With her own meal resting at the end of the bed, she poured each of them, including herself, a class of lemonade.

"So, I've been meaning to talk to you both about what happened."

Hanji spoke calmly looking Ymir in the eye. 

"Yeah? I was waiting for this."

Historia mumbled frowning around the raspberry in her mouth. Ymir sighed, leaning back in her chair whilst shoving a whole sausage piece in her mouth.

"How many times do we have to repeat the story?"

Ymir grumbled, her glare hardening as she look at Hanji's frown.

"No, you two are too close. Wait it came out wrong. You depend too much on the other, do you get what I'm saying?"

Hanji rubbed her temples, popping a small berry in her mouth.

"Yeah, we need to be stable enough to not depend on the other." 

Historia said looking up. Her small delicate face pulled into a pout. 

"Thank you, I've been meaning to bring this up in a group session b- but I haven't gotten around to i- it." 

Hanji's hands shook as she stuttered out her words. Historia hesitantly grabbed her fiddling hands.

"It's okay Ms. Zoe. You've been focused on other things. You're doing the best you can."

"Yeah, you're doing pretty good with being surrounded by a bunch of messes."

Ymir smirked tilting her head to the side, a lazed look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry for loading this all of on you two. But I'll make it up to you both. My goal for this year, get at least four of you guys out and ready for the real world!"

Hanji grinned widely, her brown eyes sparkling with determination. Historia let a soft giggle escape her chapped lips.

"Thank you Ms. Zoe. I'm sorry for destroying what we worked so hard on. I'll try my best too!" 

Historia smiled, clenching her fist against her chest. Ymir chuckled and followed her example.

"I want to be able to survive out there. I'll try hard, don't worry Zoe."

"Thank you girls. Now, let's get gossiping. Did you hear Armin is flirting with Erwin?"

"No?"

"The blonde weasel."

-

Eren walked down the carpeted hall with a stoic expression. His mind was going over the conversation he had with Levi. 

'He's so close to being released. While I'm just so far away.'

Eren stopped, the air feeling too cold on his exposed skin. 

'I can't freak out now. Remember what Hanji told you. Breath in, breath out, keep going. Think happy thoughts.'

He swallowed the anxiety, pressing his hand against the door.

"Hello?" 

"Ah, you're right on time. Hanji is still working with Historia and Ymir, hope you don't mind."

Erwin's deep voice ended with a chuckle. 

"Nah, it's cool."

Eren sat on the large white chair before Erwin's desk. His hands clammy and throat dry.

"Is there anything worrying you? You seem tense."

"Uh yeah, I wanted to ask about my possibly release date. With how I am now, when would it be?"

Eren's tone firmed as he went on. Erwin's eyebrows rose as well.

"Well,"

Erwin rolled his large chair over to the filing cabinets to the side. Looking through several different drawers before pulling out a folder.

"with your pace now, you'd be released well into twenty eighteen. But I take it you want to speed up the process?"

"Y- Yes, I feel like Levi is so close to being released and I'm scared to let him go. So I want to follow after him as quickly as I can. Is there anything slowing me down?"

Erwin tapped a pencil against the desk, thinking over Eren's file. He had most of the thing memorized to some extent.

"If I'm going to be completely honest with you, Eren. It would take so much more medication and counseling then you're getting now to have you released by the end of this year. 

"You're anger, though you've become better at controlling it, is a major problem. If you were to go out in the real world and snap? You'd be in prison for a fifteen to life sentence. I don't want to you to be worried or angry at yourself. We'll try to speed up your case with a little more intense one-on-one sessions. Remember what your goal is for this years."

Erwin watched the expressions form and crumble on Eren's face. His hands clenched and unclenched in his lap, sweat dripped from his brow.

"Okay, thanks."

"Can I ask you a question?"

Eren nodded.

"Why do you want to be there for Levi?"

Erwin leaned back, watching Eren relax at the mention of Levi.

'He's his anchor.'

"He's just so, I don't want to say small or fragile, but he's delicate? He just seems like the wind will break him. And yes, I know it's rude to think he can't protect or think for himself, but whenever I'm not with him I worry about him. Like he's just so....wonderful? I'm scared he'll realize how amazing he is and leave me behind."

Eren faded to a soft whisper. As much as Levi was his anchor, he was always a great cause for stress.

Despite the late nights spent cuddling and whispering 'I love you's, Eren thought Levi could do so much better than himself.

"Eren, I can assure you Levi won't leave you behind. He cares about you, and taking a little longer to get yourself back together won't cause him to think any less. If you don't believe me, ask him when you see him next."

"...Thanks Mr. Smith. Sorry for being such a mess today, a lot's happened."

Eren scratched the back of his neck, cringing at the dampness. 

"It's completely fine, I'm the person you're suppose to lean on and unload your baggage on. Now, I can see the sweat on you. Go take a shower and get some rest, your eye bags look Gucci."

Eren smiled at the joke and stood. 

"I guess your right, thanks again."

Eren left the room, leaving Erwin to look over the file in front of him.

'He's doing better than he thinks.'

Erwin smirked, looking back at his little performance. Using the inhuman amount of willpower he has, Eren will most likely be out years before expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month and I'm sorry, but I'm updating now? I feel like I apologize for every chapter now, bless my writing speed. Anyway, the reason why I haven't updated for the past month is because I'm Narusasu trash and I've been working on my other 50 something fics, most are ereri, few are Sterek, Narusasu, and SnowBaz, so if you'd like to see some of them maybe I could post them? I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and if you haven't already leave a kudo and a comment. I cry tears of happiness for every new comment ❤


	32. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is officially back with the rest of the gang, I screwed up the time line but I'm too deep in some other stuff so I'm not fixing it.

"Alright Jean, you're free to go. You just need to be careful not to put too much pressure on your right leg."

The doctor smiled softly at the boy who seemed surprised.

"You mean, I can actually leave? Seriously?"

Jean leaned forward, his hand pressing against his temple in shock. A smile formed on his lips.

"Yeah, of course you'll have some difficulty walking for long periods of time. But I'm sure you'll recover completely."

"Thanks dude!"

A few nurses entered the room, one holding a pair of crutches. The trio of woman helped Jean out of bed and helped him take his first few steps in a while.

Jean hadn't stopped smiling. Even when he slipped.

"Don't worry, since most of the room are carpeted, you'll have more traction there."

A nurse spoke calmly, gently pulling Jean forward.

"Hmm. I think I got it."

Jean's smile only grew as he quickly became adapt at using the crutches.

"Good job, I'm sure your want to see your friend already. Let's go."

Jean happily treaded down the hall, his underarms hurt and were sure to be bruised if he continued walking this way, but it felt so much better even being able to walk.

"Here, if you need help just press this. We'll be there as soon as we can."

The nurse handed him a thick and wide white bracelet, with a large button. It reminded Jean of a watch.

"Thanks again."

Jean stepped in, looking around at the glum mood. His brows furrowed.

"Who died?"

His sudden voice snatched the attention of those inside. The look on Armin's face told him something was wrong.

"Jean, you shouldn't have said that."

"What, why?"

Jean shuffled forward, resting his throbbing leg by sitting in the reading section.

"It's been a few months since he's been here. Give him a break. Just fill him in."

Reiner shrugged, his book capturing his attention again.

"Well, Historia was supposed to be released-

"Released? That's great!"

"No it wasn't, and please don't interrupt me. She came in here to tell Ymir about it and she went crazy. A few hours ago we learned Historia tried to kill herself."

Jean felt his stomach sink. 

"Oh, sorry."

"It's fine."

Jean was pissed about his welcome back. Sure the holidays, he spent the holidays with them. But now he was back, completely and totally. But he doesn't even get a 'hey, glad you're doing well.'

He leaned against the edge of sofa, pouting as he looked through the stack of books next to him.

The doors opening again caught his attention. He wasn't sure who to expect, but Ymir and Historia were the first two on the list.

"Historia!"

Armin grinned, jumping to his feet to hug the girl.

"Hey Arm."

Ymir watched with a small smile as Historia hugged and spoke rapidly about various topics.

"Hey Ymir, heard you went bat shit."

Jean's tired voice pulled Ymir's attention. She turned to look at the still bruised but walking teen.

"You're back too? Damn."

The pair sat down, both interested in what the other went through. 

"So what's it like to be wrecked by Jaeger?"

Jean laughed at her bluntness. It was a nice change from the sweet and sugar coated words of the nurses.

"Painfully as fuck. He broke my leg, a few ribs, and gave me a really bad concussion. The rest were fractures and bruises."

"What about your spine. You took a table to it, didn't you?"

"Yeah, thankfully Jaeger didn't hit my spine, right next to it though, he fucking wrecked it. Wanna see?"

Jean grinned as he moved to turn around, waiting for her approval.

"Hell yes, let's see this bad boy."

Ymir smirked as Jean pulled up the hem of his shirt. His whole lower bad was a fading purple. Few spots were yellow with a purple edge, but it looked like he bathed in purple paint.

"Holy shit dude, this looks fucking painful."

Ymir grinned looking at the wound. Jean nodded, lowering his shirt and sitting back facing Ymir.

"Yeah, it hurts a lot. But the doc has me on pain meds along with my usual ones. So I hardly feel it." 

A sharp intake of breath from behind Jean paused their conversation. Ymir was smirking with a bright spark in his eyes. She whispered an, "oh shit", under her breath.

Jean craned his neck to see Eren standing there frozen.

"Hey buddy."

Jean grinned. Eren's green eyes flooded with varying emotions. Guilt, remorse, pain, regret, and so much relief.

"Hey Jean."

Eren shuffled forward, a small smile finally making it's way to his lips. Jean knew Eren was sorry, but he couldn't help the slight intake of breath.

"Look, I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I really regret snapping. Oh my god, I'm sorry-"

"I accept your apology, just stop rambling. Your voice gives me headaches."

Eren looked up from his feet to see Jean lazily smiling at him. Ymir nodded, pointing to the bean bag to her right.

"Pull up a seat, we got a lot to talk about, nerds."

Eren breathed a sigh of relief. Jean forgave him, Ymir and Historia are perfectly fine, and he's on the right track to being released. Things were going alright for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, join the cool squad and give a kudos or join the even cooler squad and leave a comment ❤
> 
> I'm probably going to be posting my newer fics so Dmd may or may not slow down again. I'll try to get them all evened out, but knowing my attention span I'll end up watching the Twlight series instead of writing, or I'll start a Twlight au. If you want to see a really shitty gayer version of Twlight, I guess you could comment that??


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Erwin speak about the days previous events.

"Armin, please follow me."

The blonde looked up from his cards, making eye contact with Erwin.

"Sorry Historia, one-on-one."

He shrugged placing his cards down with a shrug and apologetic smile. Historia rolled her soft blue eyes.

"It's fine, my session is in a few minutes so we'll continue this in a few."

Armin smiled, hugging her before walking away. Erwin smiled as Armin walked out of the main room with him.

They walked in silence before reaching Armin's room. Armin fiddled with the hem of his sweater, his thoughts going over what he wanted to talk about.

'Erwin should understand. He's helped you this far. Come on, what the worst he could do? Call you a pussy and end the session too soon? Then you wouldn't get to be near him for a while.'

Armin dug his neatly trimmed nails through his sweater and into his palms. It hurt but it wouldn't leave marks.

"Armin?"

Armin snapped his head up, Erwin was holding the door open with a mix of curiosity and worry in his blue eyes.

"Coming."

He darted inside, keeping his head low. The scent of books and the warmth of the 'sunlight' was calming. He sat down, his back hunched and hands coming together to fiddle.

"Do you have anything to speak about? Or would you like to go over the past few days?"

Erwin asked sitting on the other end of the sofa like chair. Ever since Armin spilled his life story, Erwin liked to sit near the boy.

"Let's go over the past few days, please."

Armin hesitantly looked up at Erwin, a faint blush forming on his cheeks.

"Alright, let's being on saturday; the day before Historia was to be released."

Armin took a shaky breath, his hands shook in his lap. Swallowing the anxiety, he began.

"The day before was normal. Nothing interesting happened besides what I was reading. But nothing happened worth mentioning."

Erwin nodded, writing a small not in his file.

"What about the next day?"

"You know lots of things happened then. It started out pretty normal. I was the second one in the room, I ate breakfast with Annie, she spoke with me about the Titanic. Around eight was when Ymir came in. She was mad she missed breakfast, but was easy to calm down with the promise of my chocolate chip cookie. Afterwards she hung out with Eren, Levi, and Reiner. Historia came in after, she went right for Ymir. The brightest smile on her face, the brightest I've seen on her ever. She said she was leaving and Ymir snapped."

Erwin wrote down notes quickly as Armin's pace picked up. His tone rose as tears fell.

"A fight broke out between her a- and the guards. Historia was a mess, Eren and Reiner comforted her but it was obvious something was wrong. Hanji came in and I don't remember much of what happened. A few days later it was leaked to us Historia tried to, t- to, uh, I can't say it. But yeah. I, of course, was scared and just a mess. And since then I've just been twitching and thinking, and Eren says it's never good when I think for too long. I think he's right cause I just made myself way more stressed than before and thinking it out helped nothing-"

Erwin covered Armin's small hands with his own. The blonde teen looked up, his voice cutting off.

"You were picking at your nails."

Erwin answered the question in his eyes. Armin looked down at his short nails. The edges were bleeding and a few were torn. the skin flags above them were peeled back, the pink skin burned.

"Oh."

Erwin sighed, standing up. Armin bit his lip to keep from calling out to him. The man walked over to his desk and pulled out a small first-aid kit.

Popping it open, he kneeled in front of Armin. He held his hand out, waiting for Armin. The teen laid them both in the large calloused palm.

"What were you thinking about?"

Armin looked at Erwin's concentrated expression. He quickly dabbed a wet cleaning wipe on the bloodied fingers.

"I'm really scared everyone will be released while I'll remain here. I don't want to see my friends leave. I never had them before and I really like them all. I want them to get better, but I don't want to be left alone."

Erwin finished cleaning the blood and disinfecting the ruined nails. He wrapped them each in clean white gauze, sealing them with a small piece of medical tape. He kissed each finger before speaking.

"This probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but growing up includes leaving some people behind. As much as you want to keep in contact with everyone, only a few relationships are strong enough to keep during a long distance."

Erwin tightened his hold on Armin's wrists. He feared the day Armin would leave him as well.

"If you really don't want to lose your friends, you'll keep those bonds strong so even during a rough period, like separation, they'll survive. Do you understand?"

Armin nodded looking at Erwin as he rose to his feet and engulfed the sitting teen with a hug.

"I think, I have to keep the bonds strong so after we're all released we can continue being friends."

"Good job. Now, is there anything else? Or would you like to read with me?"

Erwin knew one of the most relaxing activities for Armin was reading. It was also one of his own favorite thing to do with him.

"Read."

Armin broke out in a smile, a blush forming on his cheeks.

"Perfect, you continuing your last one?"

"I can't just leave off on the cliff hanger, yes please."

Erwin chuckled, grabbing the only book left out of place and handed it to Armin. The boy thanked him, leaning against the arm of the sofa, he opened it to his last page and began reading.

Erwin grabbed his own, and settled at the other end. Their legs intertwined, and before long they were both engulfed in the stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Maybe me?   
> Over the summer I lost all motivation for anything, especially the things I enjoyed doing like writing and drawing, and since I started up school my time has been filled with that stressful mess.  
> Hopefully I'll be able to get something out soon, even if it's just a short chapter. I'm working on my other stories again so I might update those as well.  
> I'd like to thank anyone who has been waiting for the thirty third chapter of this mess of story for reading this far. I apologize for the eye bleach you'll require for this story, it's legit the shittiest thing ever. If I complete it ever I might do a rewritten version at a later date, which will hopefully not be this shit. But that's a thing for future me.


End file.
